Sara gay dating

Discover Interesting Topics: Carrie Brownstein Girlfriend, Dating, Gay or Lesbian, Parents, Net Worth. Short Bio. One of the most expertise CNN correspondents, Sara was born to her African-American father and British mother in Miami, Florida on May 31, 1972, and she was also a national women's volleyball player. Actress and 'The Talk' co-host Sara Gilbert revealed recently that she realized she was gay while dating 'The Big Bang Theory' star Johnny Galecki. Gilbert made the emotional confession about her sexuality Thursday as part of secret-spilling week on 'The Talk,' People magazine noted. Sara Sigmundsdottir is single. She is not dating anyone currently. Sara had at least 1 relationship in the past. Sara Sigmundsdottir has not been previously engaged. She was born and raised in Iceland. According to our records, she has no children. Like many celebrities and famous people, Sara keeps her personal and love life private. Sara Sampaio's wiki, dating, boyfriend, family, and many more. Sara Sampaio is a Portuguese model known for her work in Victoria's Secret Angel. She became a new Beauty Ambassador for Israeli brand, Moroccanoil in 2017. During Sara's modeling ca Sara Serraiocco’s Boyfriend. Sara Serraiocco is single. She is not dating anyone currently. Sara had at least 1 relationship in the past. Sara Serraiocco has not been previously engaged. She was born in Pescara, Italy. According to our records, she has no children. Like many celebrities and famous people, Sara keeps her personal and love life ... Sara @Akwatia-Sara is a 40 year old Bisexual Female from Akwatia, Eastern, Ghana. She is looking for Friendship, Relationship, Chat, Workout Partner, Travel Partner, Casual, Group Casual and Other Activities. Sara Ramirez and Ryan Debolt have been dating for approximately 9 years, 8 months, and 16 days. Fact: Sara Ramirez is turning 46 years old in . Be sure to check out top 10 facts about Sara Ramirez at FamousDetails. Who is Sara Bareilles' boyfriend? Is he someone who shares her musical passions? Turns out she's dating one of her former Waitress co-stars and current star of NBC's midseason series Rise, Joe ... Caity Lotz’s Character, Sara, shares a gay scene with Ava (Jessica Lee Liszewski) in Legends of Tomorrow. The question started with watching Caity Lotz share a steamy scene with her Legends of Tomorrow co-star, Jessica Lee. However, not too many fans have left it as a question. Many have concluded that Caity is actually gay. Paramore, and Tegan and Sara. She is a lesbian and is dating the coolest chick in the world, Tegan Quin from Tegan and Sara. ... Are Tegan and Sara gay? Asked By Wiki User. Unanswered Questions.

Finding My Soulmate - Part 4

2020.09.15 16:31 n0thric Finding My Soulmate - Part 4

Here is part four of my story. The story is 100% true - the only things that have been changed are the names. This part was difficult to write. I tried my best to condense a large amount of time in to a few pages without it feeling rushed. I'm only posting the remaining parts of the story here on my profile because it doesn't seem fitting to put them anywhere else. Messages & chats are welcome and encouraged. Henry Thomas
Previous parts: Part One Part Two Part Three
Aftershock
“I’ll call you back in a bit. I can’t talk right now.” I heard a flurry of activity in the background. And with that, she was gone. I sat there for a moment. My body was numb. I kept looking around the room trying to figure out if this was all just some fucked up dream.
My body was on autopilot when I picked up the phone. I dialed Thomas.
“Hey, what’s up?” he answered excitedly.
“He’s dead. Henry is dead.” I sobbed.
The other end of the line was silent for a few long moments. “Come pick me up.”
I climbed out of bed, threw on some clothes and jumped in the car. I don’t even remember driving there but I arrived at Thomas’ house. He ran out and jumped in my car. “Drive somewhere.” He could tell by the look on my face that this wasn’t just some fucked up joke.
I pulled out and drove toward a nearby park.
“How?”
“I don’t know yet.”
“Fuck.”
We drove in silence the rest of the way. I parked and we got out of the car and walked over to a nice sunny spot and sat down. “So now what?” Thomas asked.
“I mean, I’m thinking of going to join him to be honest.” I admitted.
“If you’re going to be with him, I’m going too.” he said flatly. It wasn’t a threat to make me back out. He was simply ready to follow me if that was what I decided.
We sat in silence for what seemed like ages. He finally asked, “What will happen to his mom if we kill ourselves?”
I thought about it for a bit. “I’m not sure. I’m worried that she might too.”
“Doesn’t he have a little sister?” he asked.
“Yeah she’s a senior in high school this year.”
Silence. We were both still so stunned neither of us was crying.
“Fuck. I can’t do that to his mom.” I admitted.
“If you’re staying then I’ll stay with you.” Thomas put his arm around me.
My phone rang in my pocket. It was his mom.
“Hello?” I tried my best to not break down.
“Oh Drew. I’m so sorry. I know how much you loved him.” Did she though? She was clearly trying her hardest not to cry. “We could use your help. You knew him the best and we aren’t sure what he would want. Would you be comfortable helping us make those decisions?”
I was holding the phone away from my ear a bit so that Thomas could hear what was being said. “Yes I could help. What happened to him?”
She paused for a second trying to understand my question. “Oh my God, I didn’t even tell you yet. I’m sorry my mind is gone.”
“It’s okay, you don’t have to apologize.”
“He had a rolled up bill next to him and there was a baggie on the desk. The detectives assume it was cocaine that had been laced with something.” She paused. “I… I found him slumped in his computer chair. I’d heard him talking to you a few minutes before.” She broke down. Tears were running down my face but I was doing a good job of not sobbing and making it more painful for her. Thomas squeezed my shoulder.
“We don’t know what he would have wanted. Would he want to be buried? I don’t think he liked the concept of being buried in a graveyard, but I’m just not sure. Would cremation be better? He loved science so we thought maybe we should donate his body to science.” I cringed visibly when she said that. The thought of his body being messed around with by strangers struck a nerve.
“He would want to be cremated. He enjoyed hanging out in graveyards because they are peaceful but he hated the idea of being buried.” I said with conviction.
“Okay, that’s what I thought but I knew that you would know.” She sounded relieved. “I think that he would want you to have some of his ashes so once I have them I will set some aside for you.”
As soon as those words escaped her mouth I lost it. The emotion came crashing out. I dropped my phone and sobbed. Thomas held me as I wept for a minute or two. I finally pulled myself back together and picked the phone back up. “Sorry. I’m trying to keep it together.” My voice was ragged.
“Do you have someone there? Are you, okay?” She was clearly worried that I was considering doing exactly what I’d been considering doing.
“Henry’s friend is here with me.” I told her.
“Could I speak to him for a second?” she asked. I looked at Thomas and he nodded his head. I handed him the phone.
“I’m so sorry for your loss.” his voice cracked. He listened for a bit. “Yeah, I’m going to stay with him and make sure.” He listened a bit more. “Okay, talk to you soon.” He handed the phone back to me.
“We are thinking that he wouldn’t want a traditional service?” she asked.
“Oh no way, he hated those.” I recalled all the times he had complained about how much he hated going to services.
“Okay, we are thinking just an open house where his friends and family can come by the house and pay respects. Nothing formal.”
“I think he would like that idea.”
“Will you be able to come out for it?” she asked. “He would want you here.” Her voice cracked.
“I think my passport has expired… I don’t know if I can get it renewed in time.” I began to panic.
“You don’t need to be here that day. Anytime you can make it here, we… I want you to visit.”
“Okay, I’ll see what I can do.”
“We are going to post that he passed away on Facebook this afternoon. Who should we reach out to besides family before we do that.” she asked.
“His friend Ron should know. If you do that, I will message Sara and tell her. I think Henry would want me to do that.” I tried to think of anyone else that should be told personally. “I can’t think of anyone else.”
“Okay. I have so much I have to do. Is it okay if I call you back later?” she sounded overwhelmed.
“Of course.” We hung up and I sat in stunned silence. Never in my wildest dreams did I suspect that I would have to decide what to do with Henry’s body.
“Does anyone else know?” Thomas asked.
“That he’s dead?”
“No… that you two were together.”
As soon as Thomas said it, the realization of the situation washed over me. We were the only people who knew that he was gay. “No, just you…” the tears started to fall again.
“Do we… tell people?” He reached over and grabbed my hand.
“We can’t out him after he’s gone…” It was a question as much as it was a statement. I locked eyes with Thomas to see if he agreed.
“You’ve got to at least tell his family. Otherwise they won’t understand what you were to him.” he pointed out.
“She said she was giving me some of his ashes. What more could I want? That’s all that matters. I don’t need to out him.” my mind was a mess. I typically excelled at thinking through complex problems, but trying to assign logic to emotional decisions just wasn’t working.
“You need to tell Sara?” Thomas reminded me. I had already forgotten.
“Fuck. Yeah.” I opened Facebook Messenger. I didn’t know what to say. I opted to simply say that Henry had passed away and that there would be more details posted on Facebook soon.
The rest of the day was a blur. Thomas got me back to my place and we sat on the bed in a daze. The Facebook post set off a storm of messages. Henry had always kept me separate and apart from his friends back home. I think it was his way of making sure that he could share anything with me and know that it was safe - so I was spared from the vast majority of the message storm. A few people who were mutual friends of Henry and I on Facebook reached out to see if I was okay. I simply said ‘No’ and none of them followed up with anything else.
Thomas sat there, shell-shocked. “What the fuck is going on?” It was too much for him to even process.
“I don’t know dude.” My mind couldn’t focus on anything.
“Have you eaten yet today?” he asked me.
“I don’t know... “ I couldn’t remember. Thomas went downstairs and made me some food and brought it back to my bed.
“Here, you need to eat.” I put some food in my mouth and began chewing. My body didn’t want the food but Thomas insisted that I finish it all.
The two of us sat there the rest of the weekend. Thomas made sure that I ate and forced me to take a shower. My passport was expired so I wouldn’t be able to attend Henry’s service. Part of me was relieved. There was no way I could be there without giving away how much I cared for him. That would end up creating drama I wanted to avoid.
The next week was incredibly hard. I went to work and pretended that my entire world hadn’t just crashed down. Thomas moved in with me to make sure that I was okay. The service came and went. His mom sent pictures.
I made plans to visit her the week after Christmas. I just went through the motions of life each day. Every night Thomas would lay his head on my chest and I’d scratch it and try to fall asleep. After a week of little to no sleep, Thomas came up with an idea. He took a shower and then put on some of Henry’s deodorant and cologne that he had left at my place. He climbed into bed and snuggled up with me.
I immediately broke down and snuggled up next to him. After crying for what seemed like hours, I was able to finally fall asleep. With my eyes closed it was as if Henry was still laying beside me.
The Visit
Hours bled into days. Days bled into weeks. I didn’t go home for Thanksgiving or Christmas. I couldn’t celebrate. There was nothing left to be happy about.
The date of my trip finally arrived. I hadn’t bothered telling anyone I was going except for Henry’s mom and Thomas. I had never flown before because I was terrified of dying in a plane crash. I didn’t care about that anymore.
As I approached Henry’s hometown I thought it looked oddly similar to my own even though it was on the other side of the continent. His mom met me at the airport. It was our first time meeting in person. I tried to hide my pain. I did a poor job of it.
She drove back to her house. Things had quieted down. She still had her Christmas decorations up. I recognized all of them from Henry’s Snapchats over the years.
“Are you okay with sleeping in his room? I should have asked you that before I told you not to get a hotel.” she looked concerned.
“I want to sleep in his room.” my voice cracked. She nodded and led the way.
“I’ll give you some time to unpack and get settled. I thought we could drive around and I’ll show you all his favorite spots?” she said, clearly unsure of my reaction.
“Yeah, I’d like that.” the tears started flowing freely. She left to give me some time. I sat on the bed and looked around a room I knew almost as well as my own even though I’d never set foot in it. After hundreds of hours of video chats and thousands of Snapchats, I knew every inch of his room. I opened his closet. All his clothes were hung organized by color, just the way he liked it. I started to flip through his shirts.
There was the shirt that he wore the first day I met him. The shirt he wore the day he said we should spend our lives together. The shirt he was wearing that day in my car when he decided we should be more than friends. I collapsed on the floor. I didn’t even try to hide my sobbing.
On the floor of the closet were his favorite shoes. He had worn them during countless of our memories together. I picked one up as if it were the most valuable object in the entire world. His mother walked in to check on me and found me there holding a shoe.
“Oh Drew…” she picked me up off the floor and gave me a hug. “How do we get through this?”
“I don’t know…” I sobbed. “Can I see his ashes?”
“Drew, his dad picked them up from the funeral home and won’t give them back to me.” her voice trembled.
“Are you serious?” I couldn’t believe it. Actually, knowing his father, I could believe it.
“Yes, I’ve been asking for them back for over a month now.” she admitted. “I didn’t want you to get upset so I didn’t want to tell you.”
Anger suddenly changed into panic. “He’s not going to spread him somewhere is he?” The thought of Henry disappearing into the wind before I got a chance to say my goodbyes terrified me.
“I don’t think so. He wouldn’t dare.” We both knew that was a lie. He would dare.
After taking a while to collect myself she took me on a tour. She showed me where Henry went to grade school. The old family house where he was living when we first met. The parks and playgrounds he used to hang out in. I had her take me to his favorite back road to drive fast on and the cemetery he used to hang out in and smoke pot. She drove past a baseball field and said that was where he used to play his baseball games. “He loved catching.” she stated. I involuntarily snorted. As soon as I did, a look of terror formed on my face. “What’s so funny?” she asked.
“Oh nothing. We just used to have an inside joke about baseball.” I dodged.
I asked her to take me by a dozen or so other spots that he had wanted to show me. I think she was a bit surprised by the number of places he had told me about but she seemed happy to show me around.
That night she made me one of his favorite meals. It was delicious but I had a hard time eating it through the tears. She had left her Christmas decorations up because she wanted to have me around for emotional support when she took them down. Henry had loved Christmas so much and so many of the decorations were ones that he had made for her.
As we took the decorations off the tree, she told me each one’s backstory. I took photos of all the ones that Henry had made her. It took us nearly 4 hours and a full box of tissues to pack away all the decorations. I was so glad that I was able to be there to help her with it.
His mom went to bed early that night and I stayed up for hours going through his room. Henry was the sentimental type and he also took great care of his possessions so there was a lot to go through. His clothes hamper was empty. His aunt had thought that she was being helpful by doing his laundry and washing his sheets a few days after he passed. His mother was devastated that there wasn’t anything left that smelled like him.
I shared her pain. He had left a dirty shirt and a dirty pair of boxer briefs at my place. I put them in Ziploc in hopes of keeping his smell on them.
I took one of his shirts that he had worn often when he was living with me and put it on one of his pillows. I sprayed it with his cologne. I crawled into bed in the darkness and clutched the pillow tightly. It would be the closest I would come to sleeping next to him in his room.
The next morning his mom asked if I could help her set up her new printer. I sat down at her computer and immediately noticed a list of 10 New England towns. “What is this?” I asked her.
“Those are the towns that I’m thinking of moving to in New England.” she replied.
“You realize that the one you have listed as number one is the town I grew up in right?” I asked. Her eyes grew wide. She apparently hadn’t known.
“I’ve been drawn to that town and I had no idea why.” she told me.
“Henry has been there a bunch of times with me. He loved it there.” as soon as I said it, tears started to well up in her eyes.
“That can’t be a coincidence can it?” she asked.
“You really had no idea that’s where I grew up?” I probed.
“No clue. But as soon as I saw a picture of it, I knew that’s where I needed to go.” she told me. We both knew that Henry had to have influenced her. She became even more resolute in her decision to move there as soon as she knew Henry loved it there.
The next few days were a whirlwind. His mom continued to show me around and arrange visits with his closest friends. She asked his father if he would like to meet me. His response was, “How dare you invite him here without asking me first.” Needless to say, we didn’t meet.
Henry had sold off some of his possessions when he was in debt before moving in with me. I got on his email and sent messages to all the people who bought items and told them the situation and asked if I could buy the items back. Everyone was nice enough to sell me back the items for what they had paid for them. One of the items I got back was a guitar that his parents had given him for his 14th birthday. When his mom saw that I got everything back she broke down.
Three days into my week-long visit, his mom got a phone call. Her brother had succumbed to cancer a few days before Christmas, but the family had agreed to wait until summer to have a funeral / celebration of life for him so that it would give people time to travel and see one another. Apparently her brother’s partner suddenly decided that she didn’t want to wait until summer. She was going to have a funeral in two days.
Henry’s mom didn’t know what to do. “I can’t NOT go to my brother’s funeral.” she told me.
“If you don’t mind me being here by myself, I don’t mind staying. You go be with your family.” I didn’t want to cut my visit short. I needed to spend as much time in his hometown as I could.
That night I dropped her off at the airport and went back to her house by myself. What initially seemed like a curse turned out to be a blessing. Having a few days to myself with Henry’s things was exactly what I needed. It gave me time to reflect on our time together. I was able to go through his computer and laptop and back everything up to an external drive and then sanitize it. There was no need for his family to find a gay porn stash.
His mom made it safely to her brother’s funeral. She sent me pictures of the service and it looked beautiful.
I asked her if it would be okay for me to take a couple of Henry’s things that only held sentimental value to me. She gave me her blessing. I immediately started a pile. I took his 3 favorite shirts, all but a few pairs of his boxer briefs, his favorite sandals, all the tickets and memorabilia left from the concerts that he and I had gone to together over the years, his wallet and his toiletries bag. I knew his dad would probably want his wallet but he could suck my dick. He wasn’t getting it.
His mom sent a text later that night that blew my mind. Henry would want you to have his car. Henry had a Miata that he had spent years fixing up. It was his most prized possession.
Are you sure? I asked her.
Yes.
I immediately went out and spent an hour prepping the car. It was way too far for me to drive it back so I would have to arrange to have it transported back at some point.
That night I sat on the spot where he died by myself in the dark. I talked to him and told him how much I missed him and how hard life was without him. I told him I forgave him for leaving me as soon as he did and assured him that I would take care of his mom. I talked for hours, hoping that he could hear me.
My visit finally came to an end. I packed up my stuff along with Henry’s possessions that I had picked out and headed to the airport. I returned home to begin my life without Henry. An adventure I was not looking forward to.
Part 5
submitted by n0thric to u/n0thric [link] [comments]


2020.09.05 14:56 that-boy-aint-right0 21 [f4f] Texas - Looking for connections/friendships/relationships

A little bit about me, I'm a college student studying remotely. I've sort of been growing apart from my friends and am having trouble making new ones. On the relationship side, I've never had one so I'm completely new to dating and what not. In terms of life in general, it's been a rough two/three years since I started college and I've been feeling kind of aimless and insecure about what I want to do in life, and naturally I struggled with depression but I've been able to manage it better this year.
I have a lot of interests, not really an expert on a whole lot, but TV/Movies and music are some of my biggest interests, especially if it's gay. I love to cook (mostly mexican food and also I'm a huge carnivore) and bake, I'll occasionally work on my drawing skills, fiction writing, and music, and I like spending time on social media (I'm trying to cut down my time though). I'm totally an introvert and I like to spend a lot of me-time/alone-time, but I do enjoy exploring the outdoors, going out to restaurants (not right now though), visiting museums, and going to concerts. I also like politics, although I'm more focused towards local politics, and consider myself progressive.
There's a lot more I'd love to include but this is already too long. I'll add that if you were ever obsessed with St. Vincent, Tegan and Sara, or Carol (the movie) we should definitely chat!
submitted by that-boy-aint-right0 to lesbianr4r [link] [comments]


2020.08.10 00:45 DanganTrashPie Toxic ex friend refuses to admit to his faults, constantly makes excuses, and causes me and a fellow friend to go through mental health bouts

[TW]
[also long story ahead]
If anyone remembers my fake friends storytime(Kokichi the art thief) from…a year? Year and a half? I can't remember the exact date I published a story about an attention whore. She's been since taken down, but recently I had to deal with another toxic person. Me and my friends tried to agree to never talk about him, but how poorly I came across cutting him off has haunted me and caused me to constantly think about it. So, I'll get it all off my chest.
One thing to keep in mind, in the original I was still a serial liar. I was desperate for attention because I was bad at asking my parents for some, I lied about my age and being MTF. Which is funny, because I,,,realized now,,,that I'm FTM. Internal denial? I don't know. I don't understand the behavior I exhibited back then. But that's another story for another day.
Let's use Homestuck chumhandles(usernames) to hide the names of everybody.
Me = caligulasAquarium
Toxic friend = terminallyCapricious
Mutual 1 = turntechGodhead
Mutual 2 = twinArmageddons
terminallyCapricious' behavior had been going on for quite some time, though hasn't been so obvious (at least to me) for a while. Maybe three months? Capri and turntechGodhead would often get into arguments. Capri often painted turntech as the villain, even sending me screenshots of them getting annoyed. Capri was never like "Omg caligula, turntech is so abusive and horrible," rather, he said "I can't deal with turntech, he's too much, he's very rude." Often saying such things and putting them down. I'll get to the pronouns thing soon.
Capri came out as a trans guy maybe halfway through the year or so of knowing them. I didn't think about it at the time, just being "okay sure" and calling him by the name he asked to be called. He named himself after a fictional character, and I laughed. I did the same. My name and my nickname were both fictional characters. Let's use the username examples I've given. The username caligulasAquarium is for the character called Eridan. So let's say my name is Eridan, and my nickname is caligula. I was getting a little uncomfortable being called caligula all the time. I mean, my profile was based around "caligula" all the time, in many places. So, I guess it was a common concept to call people by their profile name. I called my friend with a Sara Chidouin pfp Sara, but changed to calling her Lie when I realized that's the name she used from seeing her on the Danganronpa amino. This comes into play when I was having a fit of dysphoria. I was angry, I wanted to be called "Eridan." My parents didn't call me Eridan, Lie called me Kai because of profile reasons(I recently asked Lie to call me Eridan). But that was fine, I didn't talk to Lie every single day, unlike Capri, turntech, and twinArmageddons.
I bottled this up for a while. I have a habit of bottling up my emotions until it all comes out all at once like a waterfall of "wtf." I finally mustered up the courage to type a paragraph about how if felt only being referred to as caligula.
"Hey I think my problems with contemplating my name is being called caligula all the time. Like as a kinnie not like that's what bothers me, but I'm never even called the name that I chose for myself. Like we don't even call Capri Gamzee, we call him Capri. But I chose the name Eridan and I haven't been called that name. Just caligula. I think it's messing with my dysphoria."
I got no response. It said that Capri had read the message, and maybe Armageddons, but I don't remember for sure. After some time, Capri sent a message.
"Lol there's a creepypasta named Cronus"
He completely ignores my message and just starts being lol random. I complain about the fact I was being ignored, only to be ignored again. But merely two hours later, I sent a BLM related message. Then all of a sudden, that's all that mattered in my life. All of the previous messages I sent were just past attempts at conversation that didn't work. I felt neglected. I originally blamed the whole chat for my feeling. I was angry at Capri, Armegeddons, turntech…everybody in the chat. Even the ones that never say anything! I blamed them all. I had days of crying and yelling, at least internally. I kept everything bottled up.
Apologies for all over the place storytelling, but what I'm about to talk about happened before and after the one message.
Capri liked to make things all about himself. He's established many times "I can't call most of the time because my parents." we know this, it's been said. Yet when turntech asks to call, Capri still says "no I can't" almost every time. This behavior was rather annoying, but that wasn't all. Capri over exaggerated a lot. He keeps going to the chat like "I'm pissed" or something along the lines. When I ask why, he always says "Yoga." His parents force him to do…yoga. And I do not exaggerate when I say he treated it like it was abuse. He would never shut up about it, and when I said it was a privilege, he said I don't understand and that ✨it sucked✨. He also said he was "scared" to come out to his kind and accepting parents as trans. Yet he acts like he got it so much worse than me and turntech, who were both OUT TO OUR FAMILIES.
In the middle of this drama, I had written out a paragraph to vent out my emotion. Because, well, I was bad at going to people directly. I just had this whole thing written out, to look at, I guess.
"wow im treated so bad by my peers and I'm scared to come out uwu"
I've felt isolation my whole life, never had a friend to turn to. When I did, she was the only reason I'd leave the house. And then she moved. And the toxic neighborhood kids who catcalled me, throw shit at me, break our shut, and call my entire family slurs, caused me to feel like shit. I didn't want to leave the house. Not only that my depression was getting to the point of suicidal around this time, my dad blamed my emotions on my friendship, as I mentioned that my friend Robin cut herself once. He blames all of my "not normal" behavior on friendships. Depression, being trans, being angry at him. He acts like it's from my friends. It gives me moments of doubt. My empathy brings in others issues. And his bullshit constantly makes me question. "Do they cause it?" Obviously, no. But being told "I think it's because of your friends" every time I act out drags on my self image. And I can't tell him "no" because he'll just tell me he understands because ✨he was mistreated too✨ , which he genuinely was, but bringing it up when I'm going through anxiety and depression is just a pity party. And what did Capri have to go through? Yoga classes.
I grabbed the courage to send the paragraph to turntech and Armegeddons, and they were understanding and supportive. But if this was just a standalone paragraph of just me venting, Capri would've just said "mood" or "oof." You know how I know this?
"I'm feeling depressed"
"oof mood"
"I HATE MY PARENTS"
"same"
"It makes me feel like shit"
"lol mood"
Yet, when Capri vents, he gets pissy when I don't have a response. Capri vented about his relationship issues. He had a breakup and was upset because he over assumed how the relationship would go. I gave condolences, hey breakups suck. I also went through one, and while it wasn't the same reason, I did also over assume and plan how it would end up.
He kept saying "k…" and "ok…" as I gave him paragraphs of advice. I put my heart and soul into caring for his emotional being. I hardly got shit in return. While I was sometimes a dry texter, he ALWAYS was. A lot of "okay" "k" "sounds good" Even before shit hit the fan, I didn't feel like he was there for me. I scrolled through our PMs for a minute and so many messages were "OOF" "mood" "can we continue the rp" "here's this one sentence idea for our au and I'm gonna get annoyed when you ask me to elaborate" "hey let me bombard you with homestuck questions that I could look up myself, WHAT'S THE ZODIAC SIGN FOR JULY THIRTEEN-"
I was tired with him, and annoyed. I managed to vent to my mom, and she said he sounded immature. I got the courage to talk to my friend about everything soon before the situation got serious, and this is how the conversation went.
CA: Can I be real? I have an alt account in the group chat with like Capri, turntech, ect. where if I got angry in a call or something I'd go in on that account and put on an accent and pretend to be another person to see if they were talking about me, because I'm insecure like that. Well I just lashed out at them during a mental breakdown and they're refusing to talk about it which makes me think they're upset at me and now I feel like shit
Them: I've been there.. I do the same thing sometimes. I get the paranoia, and I get the lashing out. Im not gonna tell them, dom t worry about that. But if you ever need to vent I'll be here for you, okay?
CA: I went back in myself and I tried to start back up a normal conversation but they kept bringing up how I reacted and when I tried to state how I felt like shit Capri went "mood" and as I tried to explain why that makes me feel worse I fucking broke down again instead of lashing out I just started crying
Them: Hey hey… Thats.. kinda shitty. I don't wanna tell you that they're bad people because they aren't, but that's a shitty way to handle that. They should at least try and understand
CA: Yeah whenever I even try to vent in the fucking slightest he's like "mood" while if the others even do shit they even attempt to be comforting. Like I care about capri I really do but he's been doing nothing but piss me off recently
The rest of the conversation involved me finally venting about his annoying behavior. How he is always like "I don't know" with things that he can just look up or we have told him about ten times. The friend and I had a back and fourth, which was honestly me venting my emotions while they listened. But I needed someone to listen, you know? Because Capri didn't. Turntech and Armegeddons are in different timezones so it's hard to talk to them. So I always talked to Capri, which just drained me.
One thing he did, while I did this in the past, I've moved past it. Giving characters mental illnesses to be quirky. He gave his character bad attention span and then later said "I'm making her schizophrenic" and all they did was give her ✨voices in her head✨. He made one of his female characters a trans guy only to ship him with my gay OC. He gave characters depression, but then made them act happy go lucky 24/7. He acted like Bipolar Disorder was just being moody, and his excuse for when I called him out was just "that's how it's portrayed." Finally, tried to make a Sanders Sides character trans just because he was too. (which, if you didn't know, is a youtube series about a guy who talks to aspects of his personality to work out his issues. It's very educational about mental health.)
He characterized Janus as a trans guy, which is bullshit. Thomas wouldn't have a female side unless he was trans, then it'd be normal. The only sense it would be of a side was a trans woman or somewhere under the nonbinary spectrum, because they should all form as men because Thomas is a cis man. He doesn't see the flaw in it and refuses to acknowledge the fact that it doesn't make sense. He told me "oh you like to be self indulge yourself into your character's" yeah, but it's one thing putting my mental illness onto a character, and doing somethjng literally impossible. I make characters have depression, get abused, and be transgender for venting purposes. I dont to it for fun, or for "adding something to the story." I've moved past that behavior. I was twelve when I acted like that. Capri is fourteen. He should be past that behavior…right?
I'm about to get into the big part, when I decided to fully confront him about everything. One thing should be established first. Turntech came out to the group chat. Saying they now went by they/them and turntech, instead of he/him and Dave. They said this multiple times, and I immediately called them turntech. In calls, me and Armegeddons called them turntech. However, Capri constantly called them Dave. We told him that they now went by turntech, and Capri said "I didn't know that."
This happened multiple times.
"Hey Dave"
"They go by turntech"
"How was I supposed to know"/"I didn't know that"
And never a sorry. Just a "I didn't know that!!" despite how many times he was told. Turntech constantly vented about it, often getting angry and calling Capri ignorant and obnoxious. Which, he absolutely was, but I often was like "mehhh kinda." I semi denied the signs, yet still complained about him.
Then, the kicker.
He started venting in a group chat about being "ignored" for five minutes (funny, because he's been ignoring our emotions all the time) and I acted irrationally. I called him out in the public discord server, writing a large paragraph. Though his boyfriend soon removed it and kicked me from the server. He started leaving every server and chat we were both in, EVEN UNFRIENDING ME ON ROBLOX instead of talking to me. Not even a "yo wtf dude" or "how was I supposed to know my behavior was hurting you" like I accepted. Just silence. Leaving.
Even if my paragraph was harsh, he deserved to know how he was affecting me. I wasn't in the right headspace, but that doesn't change the fact there was so much shit. I'm sorry if I'm confusing with my all over the place storytelling BUT it's exactly how my emotions still are. All over the place.
He went to talk to turntech. Instead of me, the only one who said anything.
TC: Eridan called me toxic because I felt ignored (no, I said he was acting toxic and that he ignored us all the time so acting like he was ignored on his part was kinda irrational)
TC: He made fun of me when I joined call because I didn't have minecraft
TG: oh, hun, no. He might have other reasons.
TG: But like we've said multiple times, if you're feeling ignored speak up.
TG: Also, that's just Eridan. He makes fun of everyone. Like how he makes fun of me for being short and not having money
TC: I just can't with him rn
TG: Did you even give him a chance to explain why he thought you're toxic?
TC: He wrote a long ass paragraph
TG: screenshot?
TC: I don't have it (BECAUSE HE DELETED IT RIGHT AWAY)
TC: it's gone
TG: damn, I really dunno how to react.
TG: for one I know Eridan wouldn't call someone toxic unless he actually feels like they're being toxic
TC: He said I make being abused a contest, when have I? (when he complains all the time about how he's mistreated for having to do yoga and for not being allowed to call)
TC: Saying that I said that yoga was abuse, no I didn't (Yes you did.)
TC: I stated that I didn't like it. I stated that I was feeling ignored in our venting chat
TG: maybe he felt like you took for granted what your parents do for you, yoga makes you flexible and it's a workout. Not only can that help in pe classes but also if you need to defend yourself
TG: he was probably using it as an example
TC: he also said you and Armegeddons think I'm toxic…(I just said that the two of them didn't like his behavior either)
TG: Armegeddons doesn't, but they do say to me and Eridan that they agree how often you can vent to them compared to me and Eridan puts a weight on their shoulders. And they said they agree with Eridan that you can be over dramatic
TC: it's not like I try to be tho.
TG: lol
TG: sorry, I didn't mean that. It's a habit
TG: what else did he say?
TC: I'm too scared to vent to Eridan (DESPITE ME ESTABLISHING I'M FINE WITH BEING VENTED TO)
TC: and I'm not to sure how you'd react, so i usually vent to another server or Armegeddons
TC: I can't remember… (because you deleted it)
TC: He said something about you guy's bad parents
TG: I can agree with one thing Eridan has said to me
TG: Whenever there's an argument between you and me or you and him, it starts because you don't agree with something we said
TG: we end up apologizing even tho it's a situation where both sides need to apologize
TG: which can be a BIT toxic
TC: Dude, there's been MULTIPLE times where I've apologized to Eridan. (NAME. ONE.)
TG: and there's also multiple times where you don't or he's told me that the apologies don't seem sincere
TC: I do care…and they were sincere (Prove it.)
TG: to him most of them time, not just when apologizing, sometimes in normal conversation, he feels either ignored by you because a good amount of things slip by you (ie. turntechs name change)
TG: other times he says your voice doesn't sound sincere
TC: Because I'm zoned out, something is playing in my ears, I didn't hear, or I'd didnt know what to say (excuses what a surprise)
TC: There are calls I've completely forgotten about
TG: there are also times where we are having a normal conversation where you should be listening and we mention it later
TG: you get all upset like "I don't remember you saying that" when EVERYONE else also heard it be said
TG: you can't blame it all on zoning out because because I know for a fact nobody can zone out that often
TC: That's because I've probably forgotten okay?? Like when you went nonbinary (Oh yeah, he calls people deciding to transition or identify as something else as "going trans," which makes me believe now he wasn't actually trans and just wanted attention) I had forgotten the day completely, Armegeddons told me and I completely forgot about the day except a few things happening with my family.
TG: Do you have short term memory loss or some shit?? Like there's no way in hell you can forget an entire day, if that happened as often as you say it does, there's no way in hell you'd know anything to get through the school day
TG: no way you'd have the high grades you claim to have
TG: not to be rude but it sounds like you're making excuses, which is another thing Eridan mentioned
Capri didn't respond after that, of course. I looked through my servers, spotting three he didn't leave or kick me from. Still worked up on hate fueled adrenaline, I sent a passive aggressive message in all three.
CA: @terminallyCapricious I noticed instead of owning up to your issues like a man, you leave all the servers we're both in 💕💕 Totally not something someone toxic would do 💕💕
TC: can you give me one fucking moment to calm down
CA: Oh, are you having a panic attack? 💕💕 (I've received the "panic attack" excuse many times from people and it pisses me off as someone who often has panic attacks) You don't like being called out uwu? 💕💕
Capri's boyfriend stepped in, let's call him CG.
CG: Bro it's time to move on, you're the only toxic one here. (Yeah I was being really rude but Capri was the one being toxic)
TC: If I'm being toxic, I'll leave you alone. But you don't need to spam it in every server we have.
CG: Seriously, how dense can you be? You say it's not a competition yet you compare situations (because Capri was already doing that) Everyone's experiences are different from yours. (and Capri acted like his was worse than mine!)
CG: You're calling out Capri for having fucking emotions. (No I called him out for being emotionally manipulative) Like no one else has them but you
CG: It's time to learn that you're the toxic one before it bites you in the ass
CA: You don't even know what's going on, CG. I knew you'd defend him blindly. Both of you refuse to listen because all I want is a mature response. But I know I'll never recover one because Capri does nothing but make excuses and act immaturely.
Turntech asked me to send them paragraphs they wrote, as I was started to get overwhelmed. So this is how it went afterwards.
TG: Hello, this is one of both Capri and Eridan’s friends, Yum. It appears that your "precious boyfriend" is actually not fucking innocent. Not only has he on multiple occasions sparked arguments that left turntech and Eridan both anxious and crying, but almost never apologizes and leaves them to apologize. He doesn't pay attention a single bit, especially when TURNTECH/Dave has changed pronouns played dumb, even when he was in the call when it was said, twice, and blamed it on "zoning out".
TG: Your oblivious precious boyfriend has not only put weight on other people for his own happiness and convenience, but has been so toxic in the google hangouts group chats that is has become apparent to 3 different people he has become toxic, and has hurt them. Eridan is defending himself and turntech has no place to speak because he is too afraid to hurt Capri, despite the amount of times he's come to me crying after an arguement.
So no, Eridan is not being toxic, he is standing up for what he knows is right for himself and trying to get Capri to own up to his mistakes.
CG: Unbeknownst to you both, he is left in tears just not, and probably more often, than all of you combined. (ah yes because a liar that emotionally abused as has more genuine tears than the victims of his abuse and abuse from family members) He has a hard time adjusting to things (he doesn't even try) but that is why we're here to help. Friends are actually supposed to have each other's backs when things get tough (but Capri doesn't have our backs at all) and I know full well Capri can easily talk things over (but he doesn't) but he was so scared of losing you that he kept it to himself (sO sCaReD oF lOsInG uS- man shut up) You need to know it's not all about you. He impacts so many other lives in ways you could never understand or do.
TG: Again, i am Yum. Listen here you pieces of shit.
Believe me or don't believe me, because i know turntech and Eridan would be better off with Eridan. You have no fucking idea what turntech goes through BECAUSE CAPRI HAS PUT HIM THROUGH IT. Turntech on multiple occasians has resulted in going back to their therapist, and almost went back into their own cutting habits BECAUSE of Capri. Capri claims to not want to hurt or loose turntech. but does he not know that he is the reason turntech almost killed themself. The amount of times Capri makes excuses and makes HIM apologize after an arguement. And don't even get me started on the amount of times Eridan has come to me sobbing and yelling he was going to kill himself ONLY TO EXPLAIN that him and Capri got in an arguement that ended with HIM apologizing instead of Capr and Capri acting all happy giddy like it was started by him. Not only this, The amount of weight put on Armegeddons by him alone from going to her instead of FACING HIS PROBLEMS AMD COMING TO US LIKE AN ADULT is so bad Armegeddons has nearly broken down because the pressure is too much to handle, because she doesn't want to pick sides. So no, Capri sure as hell has feelings, but almost none of them are for Eridan, Armegeddons or turntech. And his so called blessing he can put upon other people? No. The only blessing he gifted me was my friends hurt. So you can shove that claim up your ass
TC: Look….I'm just going to leave everyone alone… I'm not gonna spark an argument… please just stop fighting… I'm just going to accept this and cut contact… (No rebuttal? I expected excuses, woah.)
CA: Again, you're just adding to the problem. You're refusing to genuinely face your problems to work on them, just to cry in the corner to gain pity. Don't even dare to claim to cry and have a panic attack over being confronted for your behavior. It only confirms it.
TG: Yum- I also want to mention turntech talked to Capri earlier AND HE STILL MADE EXCUSES, and after bringing Eridan's points up, TO SCARED TO ALSO TELL HIM HE'S BEING TOXIC, CAPRI NEVER FUCKING ANSWERED. NEVER. FUCKING. ANSWERED. HE WENT OFFLINE AND LEFT TURNTECH IN THE DARK INSTEAD OF FACING THE PROBLEM. OR APOLOGIZING. CAPRI, JUST FUCKING APOLOGIZE ALREADY. I AM BEYOND P I S S E D AT WHAT /YOU/ HAVE CAUSED
CG: We get your goddamn point. Are you happy now?
CA: I'm not happy. Damien doesn't have the balls to admit to shit. "Oh…I'm…so sorry…." is just his way to gain pity. I haven't even brought up his constant misrepresentation and constantly making his characters "uwu depressed" because his incredibly offensive content isn't the point. (I went off topic but whatever) The point is that he refuses to admit to anything, and probably makes you do all the talking for him because he's too "sad and anxiety ridden uwu" to admit to shit. To speak up like a man, LIKE A DECENT HUMAN BEING.
CA: You're adding to the excuses and showing me no proof that he can do anything more than whine and cry like a little bitch about your 💕depwession and bad pawents💕 We're letting out the anger we've had for a while now. We won't be happy until he actually apologizes.
CA: No pity bullshit.
TC: i literally just apologized…
CA: In the most "give me pity" way imaginable
TG: yum demands.... an actual SINCERE apology... or the only thing yum is ever going to think of Capri ever again is a child, a child with a knife, a knife meant to hurt friends, a child who cannot own up their goddam mistakes…
TC: ok im sorry ok that i put so much pressure on you guys…im sorry that i hurt you and im sorry that im toxic (...I don't- I can't- i- MAYBE TRY TO WORK ON YOURSELF????) im sorry for everything i did
CA: Good enough. Never contact me again.
Then I left.
It all happened back in July, last time I checked. I read realize how rude my behavior was, but I was angry. Turntech and I were livid. Armegeddons let us know we were a little harsh and a little out of left field. We agreed, but we were still fuming about this whole thing. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs, but it was late at night when everything went down. I've been lowkey losing my mind over this ordeal, and my friends can vouch that I was very emotional and went overboard. I'm sorry if my communication of what went down is poor, I just can't help but be shooken up and confused about all this
Deadnaming my friend, eh Capri? Because you were too lazy to bother when they "went trans?"
Okay then, Damien.
submitted by DanganTrashPie to FanStorytime [link] [comments]


2020.08.07 14:26 ILikeNeurons Common misconceptions about sexual consent, explained

It's important to understand sexual consent because sexual activity without consent is sexual assault. Before you flip out about how "everyone knows what consent is," that is absolutely not correct! Some (in fact, many) people are legit confused about what constitutes consent, such as this teenager who admitted he would ass-rape a girl because he learned from porn that girls like anal sex (overwhelmingly not true, in addition to being irrelevant), or this ostensibly well-meaning college kid who put his friend at STI risk after assuming she was just vying for a relationship when she said no, or this guy from the "ask a rapist thread" who couldn't understand why a sex-positive girl would not have sex with him, or this guy who seemed to think that because a woman was a submissive that meant he could dominate her, or this 'comedian' who haplessly made a public rape confession in the form of a comedy monologue, or this 'well-liked kid' who thought good girls always had to fight a little the first time. In fact, researchers have found that in acquaintance rape--one of the most common types of rape--perpetrators tend to see their behavior as seduction, not rape, or they somehow believe the rape justified.
Yet sexual assault is a tractable problem. Offenders often rationalize their behavior by whether society will let them get away with it, and the more the rest us confidently understand consent the better advocates we can be for what's right. And yes, a little knowledge can actually reduce the incidence of sexual violence.
So, without further ado, the following are common misconceptions about sexual consent:
If all of this seems obvious, ask yourself how many of these key points were missed in popular analyses of this viral news article.
submitted by ILikeNeurons to rapecounseling [link] [comments]


2020.08.01 08:12 TejasNair [Weekend Long Read] Representation of Muslims in Malayalam cinema and taking the Riz test

The Riz test, inspired from the Bechdel test and Riz Ahmed’s 2017 speech in the House of Commons on diversity on screen, talks about five criteria to measure how Muslims are portrayed on Film and TV.
If the film/show stars at least one character who is identifiably Muslim (by ethnicity, language or clothing) then is the character:
  1. Talking about, the victim of, or the perpetrator of terrorism?
  2. Presented as irrationally angry
  3. Presented as superstitious, culturally backwards or anti-modern?
  4. Presented as a threat to a western way of life?
  5. If the character is male, is he presented as misogynistic? Or if female, is she presented as oppressed by her male counterparts?
If the answer for any of the above is yes, then the film/TV show fails the test.
We look at Malayalam cinema that is said to be making the most progressive films in India right now and analyse how many films passed with flying colours and how many barely made it and how many miserably failed.
The 50s and 60s had few films that headlined Muslim characters which told normal human stories within the milieu. The 1960 film Umma directed by Kunchako had polygamy as its central theme. There was also Subaidha, Ayisha and Khadeeja in the 60s.
“The new wave sidelined women and Muslim characters. While commercial cinema was under the influence of MT Vasudevan Nair and his Valluvandan characters. Stories around upper-caste Hindu families became the norm. Superstar films were also anti-Muslim,” says CS Venkiteswaran, film academician and author.
Some of the commonly observed motifs of misrepresentation would be Muslim characters invariably lacked education, practiced polygamy and families were largely patriarchal in nature. Women in typical traditional costumes who get married at a young age, bear several children, languish inside kitchens and put up with patriarchal oppression. While men in white skullcaps, goatee, green belts tied around a lungi and white banians, would propagate polygamy, misogyny, were superstitious, economically backward and uncouth.
Statistically mainstream Malayalam films between 80s and 2000 had only a handful of Muslim hero characters. In the action thriller Moonam Mura (1988) directed by K Madhu, written by SN Swami, Mohanlal plays an ex-cop Ali Imran who is assigned for a mission, but his religion doesn’t add any value to the story. Similarly, in His Highness Abdulla (1990), he played Abdulla who eventually wins over the Hindu Thampuran’s heart and marries his adopted daughter. While Mammootty has played the iconic writer Vaikkom Muhammed Basheer in Mathilukal (1990), the evil Murikkum Kunnathu Ahmed Haji in Ranjith’s Palerimanikyam and world war veteran Khader in 1921 directed by IV Sasi and scripted by T Damodaran, based on the Mappila Uprising. Interestingly none of these films were directed or written by those who belonged to the community.
If one goes by Census of India figures, Muslims makes 26.56% population in Kerala and by that count, the Muslim representation in mainstream cinema cannot be counted as enough.
The 1988 Sathyan Anthikad film, Ponmuttayidunna Tharavu, written by Raghunath Paleri, has an elderly Muslim landlord, Hajiyar (Karamana Janardhanan Nair) who doesn’t allow his third wife, Kalmayi (Parvathy) to step out of the house, petrified that a younger man will snatch her from him. Kalmayi in her traditional attire and gold finery is a typical Muslim woman stereotype who seems content with her confinement, which was also a reflection of the society back then.
Amina Tailors (1991) directed by Sajan, reinstates every Muslim stereotype—uneducated, roguish, oppressed women and misogynistic men. Amina is illiterate who learns to read and write for her lover, without her father’s knowledge, while the mother is a mute witness to the father’s boorish, misogynistic behaviour.
Ghazal (1993) directed by Kamal has a heroine, who seems to have put the villagers under her spell with her blue eyes. Despite being madly in love with a young man in the village, she agrees to wed the much-married elderly Thangal (Nasser) to seek revenge for raping her years ago. She ends up killing him and herself on the wedding night as she feels she isn’t chaste enough to be with the man who loves her. Set in North Kerala, the film also adds to labels (polygamy, illiteracy, patriarchy, anti-modern, impoverished) associated with the Muslim community in that region. Thangal’s wife is again a silent observer to her husband’s philandering. But Perumazhakalam (2004), about a Hindu woman and Muslim woman who gets acquainted by an bizarre twist of fateengages us with its heartful human-interest story (which is inspired from real life).
In Vinayan’s Dada Sahib (2000), Mammootty plays the double role of a Muslim father and son. While the son is an army man, the father is a freedom fighter. The son’s surname and religion typically result in him being arrested for espionage. The elderly father meanwhile runs from pillar to post seeking help from the police and government, doling out fiery speeches to prove his patriotism. In return he gets abused for his religion and being traitors historically! It also speaks about a narrative where the Muslim characters were required to prove their integrity and patriotism in a society which kept doubting their credentials (again reflected the society mindset during that time, which surprisingly remains the same). Suresh Gopy who played Muhammed Sarkar in the Shaji Kailas directed FIR (1999) had to resort to the whole good Muslim speech for those who questioned his intentions in the film.
Though in some of the most feted political thrillers of the 90s, Muslim characters are invariably drug peddlers, bomb-creators and anti-nationals. They were either the villain’s henchman or anti-establishment figures scheming against the hero. Or they placed Muslim characters, simply to “represent a community”—like Baputti in Shaji Kailas’ Aaram Thampuran (1997), who is Mohanlal’s buddy and man Friday. While dropping him at Kulappuli Appan Thampuran’s mansion he excuses himself from entering the premise saying—"Namukku paranjittullathu ithreyellu. Ini Bappootti kayari ashudhamakkunnilla.” It’s a sly castiest statement. Jagathy plays Khader Khan in Ranjith’s Rock N Roll, a caricaturish Kozhikode Muslim who lives to eat.
In Priyadarshan’s Kilichundan Mambazham (2003), set in Malabar, the template isn’t free of clichés either. Abdu and Ameena are in love but circumstances force Ameena to be the third wife of a rich merchant, Moidhooty Haji. Haji (Sreenivasan) right from the wedding night comes across as this libidinous man who considers women fit only to have sex, procreate and cook. In one scene he asks Ameena— “You get to eat biryani four times a day? What else do you need? When Ameena keeps postponing their consummation, a frustrated Haji drags his first wife to his bedroom for sex. Finally he gives Ameena the triple talaq so that she can go back to her lover (with an odd Muslim custom as an excuse) and chooses to stay with his first wife. That apart, the film and its actors gave the impression of being part of a shoddy fancy dress party with awfully rendered Malabar Muslim slang topped with loud mannerisms.
In many mid 90s films, Muslim characters were placed to add humour. Cochin Haneefa used to be at the receiving end of quite a few roles like that.
The 2006 Shaji Kailas suspense thriller Baba Kalyani reinstates the favourite Bollywood Muslim stereotype—How Hawala invariably links to Muslims and the Pakistan nexus. In the film Mohanlal’s Baba Kalyani finds out that antagonist, Babu (Indrajith Sukumaran), a college lecturer by the day is a kingpin of a terror organization in the state. He is said to have undergone Jihadi training in Pakistan and is planning a massive explosion.
Vineeth Sreenivasan’s love letter to the Muslim woman’s veil, Thattathin Marayathu (2012) has a hero who is mesmerised by the heroine’s face framed inside the veil. “When she puts it, I am unable to focus elsewhere,” is his constant refrain. The heroine meanwhile lives a sheltered existence along with her divorced sister and submissive father in a home ruled by her misogynistic uncle. When her love affair with the Hindu boy is revealed she is beaten with a belt by the Uncle. The girls (her elder sister is blamed for walking out of an abusive marriage) despite being educated are shown to be mere puppets in a toxic patriarchal space. One can’t deny that a reversed narrative would have resulted in Love Jihad.
“Earlier in Malayalam cinema, most of the villain characters had Muslim names or very rarely Christian names. I once asked this writer why he made that cruel villain a Muslim character? He replied, “It’s just a name, that’s it.” I think that’s the biggest disaster that can happen to a writer. It’s not just a name, that its name is Islamophobia is what we learnt much later. We need to think before we even pick names. When we start procrastinating, writing becomes dangerous,” observes Writer PF Mathews.
In Ustad Hotel (2012) directed by Anwar Rasheed, written by Anjali Menon, the heroine belongs to a rich patriarchal Muslim family where women are expected to cook and bear children. Though she is an architecture student, she agrees to an arranged marriage, and hopes to be “allowed to work” post marriage. Shahana is also seen performing for a rock band at night without the knowledge of her family. While the hero’s sisters though initially are married off, they are later shown to be taking care of the hotel business. And during the beginning of the film the mother is only there as a symbol of procreation (though it can be argued that it’s a reality in many Muslim households). The father is displeased by the daughters she gives birth to and after the son is born, she conveniently dies. The scene where Dulquer Salmaan’s Faizi raises his eyebrows at a Muslim man who admits that the bunch of children rallying around him are his own would again be a stereotype.
"A heroine who portrays a Muslim character wears a burkha, jumps over walls and sings rock music for liberation, or when she goes out for work, the family runs behind her and hands her a hijab (Take Off). There is no attempt to go deep into their culture, thinking or aesthetics," says Parari.
The Murali Gopy scripted Tiyaan (2017) is strewn with celluloid Muslim stereotypes where they draw kohl-eyed hooligans who rape and kill as Pakistani born bad Muslims and the namaaz reading, good Samaritans who walk in the backdrop of Arabic chants as the good ones.
Last year’s B Tech set in the backdrop of an Engineering college in Bangalore is about a group of friends and how the death of their young Muslim friend turns their life upside down. Though a well-intentioned commentary against islamophobia, it dissolves into a middling narrative with cliched social media inspired memes being converted into dialogues.
The ones who passed the test
The first film which went against every single checklist in the Riz test has to be the Muhsin Parari directed and written KL10 Pathu (2015), set in the backdrop of a place (Malappuram) that has never got its due in the movies. If TV Chandran’s Paadam Onnu Oru Vilaapam depicted the regressive reality of how Muslim girls forced into early marriages are left in the lurch once pregnant, others showcased the youth who indulged in bigotry and treason. Even the recently released Amazon Prime web series, Family Man had a Malayali antagonist, Moosa, who hails from Kasaragod and joins the ISIS after his family gets slaughtered in a riot. But in his debut film, Parari debunks every stereotype associated with the district and creates a democratic, fun space. Be it having a progressive, independent fun-loving heroine who wears a hijab without fuss, to men who planned their days around food and football to an adorable Jinn, with kohl-lined eyes, as the narrator. There are lovely undertones of Sufism, in music, architecture and poetry. It’s a smartly written film that digs deeper into the socio-political milieu of the region, where conversations flow freely, friendships are legendary and people are warm and frothy, along with precisely retaining their dialect and portraying their culture authentically. "It did justice to the tagline we used— “Mazha Mayayudey Paryayamanu” which questioned the inclusiveness of the mainstream Malayalam cinema. Also, KL10 Pathu was the first movie in which a Muslim girl in Hijab was depicted unapologetically," offers Parari.
In their next film, Sudani from Nigeria (2018), Muhsin and Zakariya—who makes his directorial debut—achieve the same honesty and integrity in depicting the life of Malappuram residents. The narrative follows Majeed, a Sevens football team manager, and his friendship with an immigrant Nigerian player, who finds himself at the Manager’s home being lovingly tended to by his mother following a broken leg. Considering the landscape, culture and people were always misrepresented, the makers pull all the stops to bring it all back to perspective. Be it their passion for football and food, their ability to open their hearts and homes to a stranger and their quirky sense of humour, naivety and taking pride in their nativity. While there are women who happily thrive in the conditioned patriarchal space, there are also young, financially independent sort who refuse to settle for a partner who aren’t as qualified as them.
“Though I thought that was going the extreme, without a single grey character and a village filled with kind-hearted people. I don’t see a balance there,” says CS.
In the 2017 film Take Off, based on the real life story of nine Malayali nurses who were held hostage by terrorists in Iraq, Parvathy plays Sameera, a Muslim nurse who gets a posting in Iraq. Sameera, who hails from a lower-middle class family, gets married into an affluent, conservative Muslim family where women are expected to take care of the home and children. When she decides to pursue nursing to help her father pay off the loans, the husband and his family don’t take it well, resulting in a divorce.
Sameera is one of the most realistically sketched Muslim female characters in Malayalam cinema — all her battles are fought staying within the system. Even in her husband’s home, it’s not shown as an outright rebellion, but a matter of standing up for herself. She is trying to fit into all the roles as best as she can — be it nurse, wife, mother, daughter or daughter-in-law.
Manju Warrier plays Saira, a postwoman wearing a head scarf in C/O Saira Banu—but nowhere in the narrative does the religion or gender have a say in their character arc. The only reminder would be when she talks about getting beaten up by her father when she was in school for removing her hijab to save a pair of kittens from getting soaked in the rain.
Films like Big B, Anwar, Annayum Rasoolum have characters who don’t fall into Muslim stereotypes. Big B main leads are named with an eye on communal harmony—Bilal (Muslim), Eddy (Christian), Murugan and Bijo (Hindus) are orphans adopted by a good Samaritan Mary teacher. And none of the characters are pigeon-holed because of their religion.
There are interesting unconventional, organic depictions. In Aami, one of the stories in the anthology 5 Sundarikal, Fahad Fasil is a rich Muslim who plays interesting mind games with his wife over the phone during a long journey. While Neelakasham Pachakadal Chuvanna Bhoomi has Dulquer Salmaan belonging to a conservative Muslim family in North Kerala on a journey to find his lover. It also shows his patriarchal and traditional household where the mother is anxious about the son marrying someone outside the caste.
The 2017 romance Mayaanadhi about two star-crossed lovers has a track about a popular film actress who is a Muslim and how her life is controlled by her misogynistic brother. When a clip of her midriff gets revealed in a film, he immediately puts a stop to all her film ambitions. However, one has to note that it's a role seldom given to a Muslim woman on screen.
While the Soubin Shahir directed Parava is a beautifully framed film in the backdrop of a milieu he comes from, Mattanchery and their passion for pigeon racing. It’s a tribute to a subculture and milieu and their ordinary lives where religion never comes in the way of the narrative.
In Aashiq Abu’s Virus, a medical thriller inspired from the Nipah outbreak in North Kerala, the Muslim community are carefully drawn out, there is a lovely spontaneous romance between a young doctor Abid Rehman and his sweetheart Dr Sara Yakub and they hint at the stereotypical demonising the community has to endure when the prime Nipah giver’s lover is questioned about his whereabouts.
“That’s why I say that one of the significant developments in Malayalam cinema in this decade has been the phenomenal presence of Muslims in the industry be in direction, cinematography or other technical aspects which in turn helped in creating a more sensitive and productive narrative for the Muslims in cinema,” maintains CS.
But then it's also true that one of the most poignant gay romantic stories, that too between two Muslim characters can be seen in the recently released Moothon, directed and written By Geethu Mohandas. The love story between Akbar and Ameer is so organically written, enacted and crafted, making it perhaps the most sensitive and politically perfect depictions of Muslims and homosexuality in Malayalam cinema till date.
(By Neelima Menon via Full Picture)
submitted by TejasNair to MalayalamMovies [link] [comments]


2020.07.27 13:46 adarara Corruption of the Shidduch System

I don't know if anyone on here has gone through the shidduch system, but I was in it for about 4 years and can attest to the fact that it's a horrible, dehumanizing, process. This was going around on the religious whats app chats I'm part of. I'm SO glad that this young woman put this out there.
Trigger warning for people who have been in the shidduch system!

Whatsapp Message:
This is from my sister's very good friend who is an incredible girl, early 30's. A Shadchan suggested a boy to her and when getting a yes, this girl asked the Shadchan what the young man's future plans were. This is how the Shadchan answered her. I'm posting this here because it should be a reminder for anyone who dabbles in shidduchim how to treat every single they meet with the upmost respect and to not put anyone down for anything.
—-
Just in case you wanted to know what I got whammed over the head with yesterday . A shadchan emailed me the following because I asked her what this boy's parnassah plan is and wouldn't just go on a blind date without a resume or basic info.
Sara, I've met a lot of nasty shadchanim but this takes the cake!!!!

The Email:
"You can choose your own set of priorities. but realize that from age 30, 50% of girls won't get married. as they get older, the number increases. I have made shidduchim of people who are bi-polar, have aspergers, etc. and they are B"H happy. Maybe that is your lot in life, that is what Hashem wants for you. No guy is perfect, and most of the FFB guys over age 30 have some sort of mental health issue or gay tendencies or something else severe. The issue is not "CAN" you live with it, but HOW to live with it.

Devorah Haneviya married a shlepper, but she respected him and built him into something great. We learn this straight out in tanach. Sara Shnierer married someone she didn't respect, divorced him, didn't re-marry for 20 years, and never had children.

I am suggesting a guy that you are not nixing because of mental health issues or other major things, but because you don't want to meet him and discuss his future plans...you don't want to build a plan for a future together with someone?

A girl who claims to be yeshivish but thinks she knows better than Hashem who He picked out for her to marry is a very big concern. You prefer to marry the guy who beat his ex-wife? cheated on her? embezzled money from a friend's business and put his friend into poverty? what is it you are willing to date. Every guy has a problem, the question is what can you live with. And if you don't know the problem up front, you will find it out later.

I think the girls today are lacking bitachon. Hashem picked out your bashert. He had Esther Hamalka marry a goy, Devorah Haneviya marry a shlepper, Rachel married Akiva who was not learned. Every woman has bechira...each one can say no. Hashem gives you the opportunity to MEET your bashert, and you can pass it up. I get that you are burnt out, but in 25 years experience as a shadchan, I know that usually it is not because girls have not met the right guy. It is not who they date, but how they date. If Hashem wants you to marry someone bipolar, you would rather stay single your whole life? or instead, meet with his doctor and figure out how to make it work in a marriage?

I am unaware of any mental health issues with Moshe. Or other issues. However, you are turning down your potential bashert because you cannot meet with him and talk to him about how the two of you could build a future life together? Honestly, it does not sound like you are burnt out. It sounds like you are scared to get married...so scared that you don't get advice on how to date properly but instead run and hide.

I do shidduchim as a chessed. I have a profession, but give my time because I feel bad that people are making such grave mistakes. B"H the bipolar guy I set up has 6 kids, his wife had no issues, and she sends me a thank you note every year (they are married 11 years). Remember, Moshiach does not come until all the neshamos have come and done their tikun. With every passing year, you are preventing potential babies from being born. I don't believe you have to go out with every single guy redt to you, but clearly either you are choosing the wrong ones to date or you are dating incorrectly.

Just remember, at 40, there is an 80% chance a girl will never marry. As a girl gets older, the quality of men does not improve. It declines. So if you are running away from a date because you are scared to meet a guy and maybe you will like him and actually have to discuss a future together, then that is a hashkafic issue, a serious one.

You should not even be thinking about his parnassah until a 5th or 6th date. First and second dates are only to see if you can have enjoyable conversation and enjoy talking to each other. Third and fourth are focused on personality (i.e. how he would be as a father and husband) and hashkafa. Finances, how you would live etc., only comes when the other components are there.

I do not get offended personally when someone turns down an idea...if there is a good reason. But when a girl over 30 is acting like she is 21 in her choices of who to date, it often indicates mental health issues - anxiety, fears, perhaps someone who grew up around people who didn't have a good marriage...etc.

This is not just about you, this is about your generation. Most good shadchanim don't want to help girls over 30 because the shadchanim have to invest more efforts than the singles. Stop trying to decide what parameters you are sure Hashem has used to decide your chosson. Embrace who it could be and figure out HOW to make it work for a happy future, not IF you should make it work for a happy future.

I feel bad that you are in a place of not being able to see with greater clarity the mistakes you are making. Not about Moshe only...in general. Go into every date saying - this is the one, and if I pass this up, I will stay single forever. I'm pretty sure if you had the right hadracha until now, you likely would have been married. Unfortunately, too many people who don't understand what is available for women are giving bad advice. Stop looking for what you want - he doesn't exist. Instead look at who Hashem is offering, and pick one of them. Or stay single...it's your choice. But after age 36, most guys under 41 do not want to even date, so keep that in mind. You'll have the 45 year olds as options if you let time get wasted.

Unless I hear otherwise, I will assume you are burnt out and not serious about getting married. I wish you hatzlacha
submitted by adarara to exjew [link] [comments]


2020.07.18 17:43 Agona18Julder Dad and Dau-ghter Real Por-n

Dad and Dau-ghter Real Por-n
3d Sfm Porn Gifs Reddit Porn Comics Info Boy Seduce Girl Porn on Couch Hardcore Porn No Register Bbw Mommy Next Door Porn Dad and Daughter Real Porn Ava Devine Free Porn Movies Bulma and Android 18 Lesbian Porn Real British Dogging Porn Jacking Off Watching Lesbians Porn Amateur Porn Webms Aus Porn Star Angela White White Black Shemale Feet Porn 3d Porn Comic Hd Videos K2s Files Gay Panty Boy Porn Dvd See No Evil Gay Male Spanking Porn Video First Gay Likes It Porn Porn Star Marilyn Mansion Interracial Free Porn Videos Woman Showing Booty to Seduce Fiull Porn Movies Gay Porn Guy Describes Fucking Teacher Babysitter Masturbates Men Forced to Clean House Naked Porn Muktar Male Porn Star Reddit Porn Music Vid Cartoon Candy Porn Tube Facewrecked Porn Hd Pov Adventure Game Porn Rubbing Her Chubby Wet Pussy Free Chubby Pussy Porn Video Sister Accidentally Sent Me Her Nudes Porn Thai Bar Girl Anal Porn Nalina Shapiro Tits Porn Arya Fae Hd Porn Black Spring Break Porn Xxx Porn Franceska Jaimr Mature White Male Slave Serves Black Couple Porn Hd 3d Toon Porn Girlfriend Experience Lesbian Porn Malayalam Sex Videos Porn Allison Hall Amateur Porn Tall Gay Porn Stars August Ames Lesbian Porn With Ryan Ryans Dad and Daughter Have to Talk Porn Sexting Comic Porn Black Male and Female Porn Pinkys Best Porn Videos Porn Mouthcum First Time Free Anime Teens Porn Real Happy Ending Porn April Oneil Sister Porn Ajit Paul Reddit Meme Porn First Teen Porn Video Sex in Miami Porn Furry Femboy Cartoon Porn Girls Sucking Dicks at Party Porn For Money Porn Tube Monster Girl Porn Game Teen Lez Porn Volleyball Girl Porn Homemade Blk Robbery Porn Jelisa Elite Lesbian Porn Cdg Teen Titans Porn Big Girls Doing Porn Xxx Fat Black Women Porn With Black Men Enjoing Raped Porn Renaissance Porn Movie Blonde Secretary Porn School Girl Young Porn Marie Rose 3d Porn Sonic the Hedgehog Cartoon Porn Spicy Strawberry Female Porn The First Porn Films Free Sexy Women Porn Videos Seven Deadly Sins Wrath Male Porn Series Icandy Porn Game Slim & Slender Tall Milf Porn Stars Anon Girls Do Porn Ebony With Bad Dragon Dildo Porn 50 Plus Year Old Woman Porn Old Teacher Porn Pics Instruction University Porn Tube Shanna Mccullough Porn Pics Kendra Lust Milf Porn Hub Bbc Solo Porn Pic Porn Tube Mobil Free Porn Teen Son Fucks Mom 40 Hd Best Hand Cum on Webcamra Porn Porn Shemale Barebacking Bangla Movie Porn Hot Song Xvideo Html5 Porn Tube Naked Guys Gay Porn Bbw Huge Tits Dildo Porn Black Teen Domination Porn Bbc Fuck Gay Ass Tube Porn Search Free Black Porn Hercules Porn Movie Sacramento Amateur Porn Mom and Duaghter Lesbins Porn Porn Brother Sister Oil Massage Bbw Solo Porn Tube Guy Fucked With Strapon Porn Porn Young Teen First Crying Anal Assfuck Stroking Fat Dick Porn Mallu Girl Porn Nicole Rey Porn Anal Casting Teen Porn Video Free Black Sex Bi Orgie Porn Zorla Sex Porn British Porn Tube Galore Hardcore Gay Porn Com Lesbian Kissing Porn Tube Playing With Fire Porn Movie Reddit Hapa Porn List Link Keez Free Porn Videos Homemade Amateur Unioncitytennessee Porn Betty Jo Tateporn Gravity Falls Porn Comics English Beefy Muscle Boy Gay Porn Videos Porn Hd X Art Bbc Porn Kkk Dad Male Spy Cam Porn 3some Sister Porn Family Switch_couple Nsfw Set Reddit Porn Amateur Panties Rape Porn Mom Son Garder Belt Porn Guy Sucks Dick to Fuck Girl Gay Porn French Gay Porn Studios Free Solo Porn Movies Best Sex Scene Porn on Netflix Horny Amateur Gets Fucked During First Porn Interview Indian Fuck Full Hd Porn Xxx Czech Porn Tube Reserve Porn Big Black Tits Solo Porn Riding Dildo Bymistake Porn Movies Homemade Porn Couple With Glasses Big Booty Ebony Ameture Porn Free Interracial Lesbian Porn Diesel Washington Gay Porn Videos Brother Catches Sister Masturbating Porn Homemade Solo Porn Green Short Big Tit Porn Free Porn Mature Rough Blow Job Little Redhead Lesbian Domination Rape Porn Alexus Winston Nikki Dial Lesbian Porn Accidentally Sent Mom Furry Porn Tony the Tiger Eighties Porn Movie Covers Young Looking Gay Porn Porn Sex Anal Sex Identical Twins Lesbian Porn Interracial Dating Porn 3d Ep 1 Porn Porn Tit Job Porn Erotic Teen Porn Movies Furry Wolf Male Buttjob Porn African Black Lesbian Porn Cock on Face Porn Teen Real Maid Creampie Porn Astolfo Comic Porn Black Homemade Suck and Swallow While Watching Porn Gay Black Men Porn Hardcore Bareback Gay Porn Fattening Her Up Porn Pics Captions Japaness Force Porn Dorothy Wizard of Oz Cartoon Porn Teen Xl Porn Watch One Hot Milf Brandi Love Porn Hot Girl Fucks Fat Guy Porn Blonde Porn Goddess Free Lesbian Disney Porn White Gangster Gay Porn Porn Teen Milf Step Sister Best Friend Porn Download Xxx Porn Videos Com Amercian Sister Porn Black Gay Porn Big Booty Xxx Extreme Porn Murder Porn Movies Free Pussy Punishment Creampie Porn Old Fashioned Porn Tubes Russian Lesbian Rape Porn Texas Porn Pics 3d Young Cum Filled Belly Porn Gifs Furry Double Trouble Comic Porn Cute Redhead Freckels Thin Teen Masturbates Hard Porn Huh Porn Clean Cum Off Shemales Tan Tits Best Interracial Porn Sites Reddit White Girl Unwanted Black Anal Porn Bhabhi Ne Porn Movie Daikhtay Pakra Best Porn Photo Blog Sites Anime Cat Girl Porn Comics Homemade Uk Teen Porn Mlp Octavia Anal Porn Chinese Hunk Gay Porn Fantasy Rape Porn Gif Scarlett Johansson Porn Tube Str8 Guys Wake Up Getting Fucked Gay Porn Adult Porn Comics Com Anime Porn Gif Rape Porn Bbc Compilation White Vintage Teen Porn Tumblr Black Boi Pussy Porn Daddy D and Teen Boy Porn Simpsons Comic Porn Pics Busty Mommy Spanish Boy Real Recorded Porn Alien Sex Files Porn Tennis Girl Porn Degimon Cartoon Porn 30 Minute Lesbian Shemale Cartoon Porn Tits Video Porn Porn Fidelity White Room Real Late 20s Women Bra Panties Porn A Mother Daughter Thing You Porn Sara D Allover30 Hardcore Porn Reddit Asian Porn in 15 Sec Bbw Nigger Slut Porn Maine Girls Porn Porn Game Fuck Sunny Leone Dad Porn Tales of Aegis Gay Porn Comic Fully Clothed Mothers Raped Porn Mlp Porn Comics Magic Touch Part 3 Free Porn Videos Teen Pussy Italian Nun Porn Sex Bikini Blonde Asian Girl White Master Porn Capitons Gifs Kyouko Maki Hd Porn Porn Softcore Bbc Free Anal Teen Porn Movies Dad Catches Son Watching Gay Porn Big Fat Black Lesbian Porn Virgin Town Porn Game Cheats Amateur Real Porn Videos Mature Milf Makes First Porn Cute Gay Teen Porn Cam Bella Diamond Hd Porn Videos White Chicks Big Black Dicks Gangbang Porn Hd Bdsm Patent Belt Porn Sex Slave Choked and Raped Porn Dad Daughter Watch Porn Tube Kinky Porn Comics Cheating Milf With Braids Gets Massage Porn Jessica Rabbit Cartoon Porn War Machine Porn Movies Porn Star Sex Video Chinese Girl Porn 2018 Cartoon Network Milf Porn Free Porn Older Mature White Women Dressed Heels Cute Girl Rubbing Tits Lesbian Porn Exxtra Small Teen Porn Videos Older Natural Tits Porn Vids Top 3d Hentai Porn Sites Gay Porn Sims Chad White Porn Gif Teen Porn Hub Tube Straight Guys Caught Porn Hub Best Free Incest Rape Porn Sites Blonde Ariel Rebel Porn Muscle Twink Gay Porn Gay Asian Porn Reddit Hot Amateur Seduce Porn Reddit Old Homosexual Porn Movie Sites Black Dp on Black Brazilian Ladies Porn Intimate Shemale Porn Gassy Girl Porn Black Gfs Stacey Ebony Porn Guys Cumming Hard Porn Hub Best Porn Video Porn Porn Bbw Ebony Lesbian Hunie Pop Porn Flash Game 70 Old Porn Free Cartoon Porn Redtube White Boss Fucks Nigga Men Gay Porn Stories Asian Lesbian Train Porn Dick Throbbing Porn Rape Teen Porn Free 41 Family Guy Porn Threesome Gloreyhole Porn Tube Philipena Porn Creampie School Porn Comic Small Andre Garcia Matthew Girls Do Porn Mobile Porn Rape Movies Lesbian Porn Torrents 2017 Topkickass Hot Black Mature Porn Ebony Big Booty Porn Pics Young Teen Porn Vidz Sm Porn Pics Mom Abused by Son Porn Latina Anal Porn Star Girl Doing Girst Porn Begs for Anal Asian Asses in the Air Pics Porn Light Black Milf Sweet Porn Best Proxy for Porn Videos Over 50 Male Andbanging Away Porn The Revenge of Napa Porn Comic Porn Slim White Girls Real Rufee Porn Amateur Weife Sharing First Time Porn Video Big Labia Lesbian Porn Andrai Girls Do Porn Hd Caught Masturbating Porn Chubby Latina Teen Does First Porn Metroid Porn Alien Game Giant Dick Small Girl Porn Porn Hub Hd Video Download 3 Lesbians Ping Pong Porn Black and White Latex Mmf Bisexual Porn A2m Porn Blond Mom Son Sister Free Porn All Sex Milf Teen New Porn Guy Sucks Cock While Watching Porn Valerie White Porn Freeones Scarlett Johansson Boobs Real Porn Not So My Daughter Porn Anateur Porn Tube Big Boobs Seniors Porn Very Fat Dick Porn Porn Sex Fight Porn Gorgeous Step Sis Sneaking Kitchen Creampie Son Shy Girls First Porn Fatherly Alterations 2 Porn Video Full Movie Oral Amateur Porn Porn Force Fucked Movie Daughter Impregnated Porn Video Fetish Milfs Porn Sites Horse Dick Porn With Swinger Myanmar Porn Video Free Download Big Tit Teens and Mom Porn Videos Hd Thai Queen Porn Old and Young Teen Redhead Creampie Porn Used Like a Sex Doll Creampie Porn Black Cunnilingus Porn Passionate Sex Old Black Man Teen Girl Porn Download Hd Porn Wallpaper Teen Pussy Filled With Dads Cum Porn Videos Perfect Body Porn Girl 12 Year Olds Having Sex Porn Mom 33 Model Porn 2018 Olympics Sex Porn Mom Open Robe Porn Pov Free Download Young Porn Video Women Who Like Little Boys Porn Hot Amateur Girl Gives a Handjob Porn Videos Forty Five Year Old Fucks Young Bbw Porn Hot Sexy Hd Porn Flat Chested Teen Rough Fuck Porn Gifs Best Pussy Porn Pics Www Hd Porn Club Com Big Titty Goth Girl Porn Best Free Porn Sites Full Length Gilf Porn Star Tubes 50 Year Old Mother Cheating on Husband Creampie Porn Missy Masters Porn Tube Free Amateur Allure Porn Hd Free Teen Brother Sister Porn Andrew Gay Black Jock Porn Biggest Male Gay Porn Star of All Time All Black Porn Torrents 3d Comix Porn Beach 1991 Female Porn Stars Debau Ebony Porn App Best Slap Happy Porn Asiaqn Teen Porn Sexy African Girl Porn Best Breasts in Porn 2018 Tnaflix Free Porn Movies Lacey Hardcore Asian Girls Do Porn Sister Phone Before Date Porn Best Porn When Bored Cartoon Little Boy Porn White Stocking Asian Porn Videos Japanese Giant Nipple Porn Real Kapriznaya Porn Pic Lesbian Bondage Torture Porn Vintage Muscle Guys Kissing Sucking Porn Digimon Porn Comic Pent Up Free Porn Sex Teacher Hiker Gets Raped Porn Top Sex Porn Tube Teen Fuk Porn Japanese Movie Porn Com Sexy White Trash Porn Free Little Teen Porn Tube Videos Homemade Teen Ffm Porn One Piece Robin Porn Game Free Porn Daughter Brings Friend Home for Daddy to Fuck Free Gay Porn Eating Cum Dad Daughted Vacation Porn Movies Bbc Reactions Pawg Porn Bunny Freedom Porn Girl Doctor Gay Porn Tube Free Hairy Teen Porn Flcl Porn Game Fucking Hardcore Porn Pics Ebony Very Large Porn Images Full College Porn Movies Puting Our Dick Together to Jerk Off Porn Chloe Cherry Porn Pics Kacy Lane Porn Hardcore Mom and Dad Porn Hub John Holmes First Porn Anal Streatching Porn Cougar Milf Virgin Sex Porn


https://preview.redd.it/8rfnf1e1zmb51.jpg?width=256&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=01b6f38fb287133480c08ad15a5ab505351eb081
submitted by Agona18Julder to Home_Made_Fun [link] [comments]


2020.07.16 17:25 elvs816Jul Best Making Lov-e Por-n

Best Making Lov-e Por-n
Real Amature Cheating Wife Porn Mature Cassi Porn Cum in Pussy Moms Porn Photos Best Making Love Porn Blonde Xxx Porn Ether Russian Daddy Forces Daughter Porn Videos Really Hot Sex and Big Tits Porn Movie Amature Porn Sites Feturing Mature Vannessa From Austrlia Breastfeeding Video Porn Hentai Cartoon One of the Best Porn Lez Tube Porn Free Gay Porn Web Romance Porn Comic Gothic Game Porn Interracial Office Stockings Porn Johnny Sins Hd Porn Old Woman and Young Boy Porn Tube Dragon Age Inquisition Dorian Sex Porn Gif Sfm Sex School Porn Videos Lesbian Mature Seduction Porn Gangbang Cum Dumpster Porn Tube Guy Flashed Female Cap Driver Porn Cindian Best Porn Hd Hard Rape Machi Ne Porn Fucking Pussy Then Force in Ass Porn Father Daughter Hello Kitty Porn Any Guys That Don't Believe in Porn 8th Street Latinas Wtf My Mom is Home Porn Satin Jayde Mature Porn Catching Mom Comic Porn Fuck My Dads Girl Friend Porn Tubes Lesbian School Girl Punishment Porn Mom Helps With Big Problem Porn Video Icarly Girls Hardcore Porn Sam Fucks Carly Sister Pov Porn Gif Mouse Furry Porn Tameka Interracial Creampie Porn Female Hairy Assholes Porn Son Fucks Mom Next to Sleeping Dad Porn Hd Porn Images Free Download Hairy Black Anal Porn Massive Dildo Porn Pic Dick in Her Ass Porn Xxx Hardcore Porn Big Dick Gooru Porn Hottest Females in Porn Industry Prego or Not Prego 3d Porn Lena the Plug Free Porn Video Dani Anderson Porn Tubes Porn Playing Video Game Old Teacher on Young Gay Porn Porn Chubby First Time Stud Mother Daughter Lesbian Porn Taboo Free Mobile Videos Porn Bbw in Sexy Leather Porn Hd Porn Blonde Foursome Dirty Anal Porn Pics Mandy Bright Interracial Porn Wolf Porn Movie Own Mom Impregnate Porn Tumblr Dogfart Black Couple White Girl Porn Tubes Real Sons Porn Mature Big Tits Young Porn Free Real Rape Porn Video Alien Sex Dildo Porn on Girlfriend Porn Video Games Without Credit Card Teen Porn Captioms Reddit First Hugh Cock Porn Alex D Male Porn Bio Tattoo Teen Rape Porn Video Sexy Girls Do Porn Kids Black Porn Petite Horny Mom Wants Young Stud Cock Porn My Black Step Sister Jenna J Foxx Porn Big Tit Wife Forced Porn Hd Black Solo Porn Herman Mann and Latin Porn Women Tubes Free Latina Porn Pics Blacks Having Sex Porn 1950s Homemade Porn New Xxx Porn Pic Saints Row Comic Porn Mom Wants to Taste Mu Cum Porn Videos Top Free Black Porn Hd Masturbation Porn Ai Uehara Black Porn Www Cartoon Porn Pic Com Hd Sexart Erotic Porn Sisters Training Porn Comic Cartoon Father Force Daughter Porn Video Layla London Porn Step Dad Real Amature Porn Wife Swap Do Male Porn Actors Ever Feel Bad Girl Likes Lesbian Rape Porn Best Old Porn Ever Made Big Clit in Dick Porn Video Mafia 3 Porn Pics Transformers Female Porn Sara Jay Porn Anal Lily Thai First Porn Penis Porn Black Black Pervert Porn Redapple Porn Cartoon Chubby Girl Mmf Porn Free Real Young Hispanic Lesbian Porn Fat Shemale Culonas Porn Breed Porn Pics Huerta Nude Porn Pics Lolly Latin Porn Interracial Stepson Gay Porn Lottle Girl Porn Mikan Yuuki From to Love Ru Porn Game Catwoman Porn Forced Sex by Two Lesbians Pussy Forced Threesome Porn Held Down Magna Mom Son Porn Tumblr Amarna Miller Porn Dad Gay Porn Latex Girls Do Porn Blonde 155 Porn Game Virtual Date With Sasha Fusion Hardcore Porn Gay Blck Boys Porn Father Fi Gering Daughter Porn Clothed Wet Lesbian Porn Zoe Bloom Sister Full Porn Confiscated Twins 3 Family Ties Porn Comic Porn Hd Classic Adorable Schoolgirl Porn Tube Big Black Women Lesbian Porn Bbw Free Gay Porn Massive White Teen Cock Worship Dark Porn Tube Reddit Toocute for Porn Is Porn Illegal in Korea Reddit Red Light Green Light Porn Game Jade Dream Interracial Porn Anal Stepdaughter Porn Porn Photo of Pawg Brianna Luv Anal Interracial Young Sister Porn Stories Korean Chinese Leaked Scandal Homemade Porn Close Up Big White Cock Gif Porn Mother Seduce Intce Daughter Porn Alexis Texas Creampie Porn Sexy 15 Year Old Porn Dad It Hurts Porn Free Big as Porn Fetish Skirt and Stocking Pics Porn Ulfm Porn Games Lesbian Map Porn Free Hd Sex Porn Video Old Asian 1980 Porn Free Mia Lina Fucking Dads Black Friend Porn Video Brooklyn Daniels Family Sex Porn Dvd Porn Wicked Movies Ejacqulate on My Lesbian Face Porn Garth Brooks Gay Porn Tremaine Gay Porn Young Girl Licks Milf Pussy Porn Adult Girl in Onesie Porn Hidden Camer Didnt Aspect to Kitsch Mom Porn Pov White Teen Pov Porn Cherokee D Ass Lesbian Porn Real South African Porn Videos Lesbian Braxiliam Porn Videos Mom Heiling Step-son With Photo Shoot Porn Girl Elf Porn British Rachael Porn Tube 2 Sisters Fucking Porn Hub Mom Takes Come Porn Videos Dad Girls Porn Vdeo Fucking My Tutor Piper Perry Hd Hardcore Porn Videos Brittany O'connell Tube Porn Classic The Artifact Porn Game Free Download Free Porn Chubby Pics Big Dick White Boy Gay Porn Is Porn Addiction Real Mermaid Porn Comic Gay Porn Medieval Ebony Porn Star Monet Divine Japanese High School Girl Porn Asian Boys in Pain Porn Tubex Hd Porn Free Porn Forum Hd Kagney Linn Karter Big Titts Satin Panties Porn Freeky Guys Porn Katrina Moreno Hd Porn Japanese Pissing Porn Tube Deep Space 69 Sex Scene Porn Vanessa Hudgens Porn Sex Mom and Daughter Raped in Spa Porn Women Brutal Forced Creampie Porn Girls Do Porn Black Girl Webcam Couple Porn Tube Porn Games Mmorp Muslim Women Porn Tube Bbw Rough Thoat Fucked Porn Soft Girl Porn Mature White Women Watching Interracial Porn Close Up Oral Sex Porn Gif Gay Male Slam Perv Porn Games Boys Play Porn Movie Nova Studios 100 Free Homemade Porn Hd Lesbians Play Porn Daughter Before and After Insemination Porn Video Safe Hd Porn Sites Ebony Ultimate Surrender Porn Bald Head Girls Porn Xxx Fanci Porn Muve Lucy Lawless Porn Movies Xander Corvus Fucks Wife's Sister Porn Teen Blonde Girl Outdoor Raipt Porn Porn Mia Lelani Anal Japanese Mom and Daughter Watch Porn Love Tube Porn Most Popular Russian Male Porn Stars Free Young Asian Porn Pics Wwe Diva Porn Xxx Young Amateur Porn Casting India Vive Porn Xxx Movie Bf 2 Bwc Porn Ebony Women Porn Hot Blond Girl Has Nice as Sex on Porn Best Crack Smoking Porn Boxman Games Porn Game 2017 Best Lesbian Porn in Hd Her First Lesian Sex Porn Real Men Fucking Women Porn Officer Andrews Busted Boys Porn Caetoon Porn Comic Gif Big Wife Porn Best Porn Scene Bluemoonfairy Teen Porn Daughters Approval Porn Full Scene Best 2d Porn Games for Pc Japanese Group Forced Xvideo Porn Rimming Porn Pics Fat Guy Kisses Dog Porn Best Free Porn for Women Lesbian Couple Drunk Porn Free Petite Teen Step Sister Gets Brother's Big Dick Porn Teen With Mature Porn Kelsi Monroe Deep Anal Porn Reddit User Porn Small Feet Porn Pics Huge Dildo Hd Porn Best Porn Sites Deep Web Best Black on White Porn Sites Lesbian Snuff Group Comic Book Porn Harley Quinn Tied Up Porn Games Islamabad Porn Tube Brittany Dougherty Porn Amateur Turkish Old Man Porn White Kid Crys Anal Porn Videos Tube Porn Lobster Free Anime Girl Porn Medium Tits and Nice Ass Porn Rape Porn Young Girl With Daddy Big Black Cock Creampie Female Orgasm Porn Latina Teen Girl Porn Free Porn Videos Italian Teens Daughter Gets Gang Raped Porn Best Places for Gay Porn Hot Redhead First Porn Video Old Nyphomanic Porn Free Videos Japanese White Dress Porn All Porn Hd Movie Fullhd Kenzie Reeves Teen Porn Pics Black Sissy Prison Anal Porn Cartoon Mother and Daughter Porn Porn Videos Hd Quality Blonde Selfie Porn Hhb See Me After Class Porn Comic Aeroplane Porn Movies Amateut Hd Porn Hd Porn Hot Mom Teen Shemale Amateur Porn Extra Small 18 Year Old Porn Most Popular Porn Movies of All Time Mom Son Porn Real Incest Gay Chicago Porn Bondage Teen Porn Animated Gif Juniper Lee Cartoon Porn Comic Free Twink Porn Bbc Videos Hairless Teen Girls on Porn Tube Porn Theater First Time Tranny Gay Men Cum Porn Best Big Tit Rough Porn Swing Porn Pics Indian Woman White Man Porn Pregnant Porn Stars With Huge Silicone Tits Dear Diary Porn Game Patreon Japanese Minori-hatsune Forced Blowjob Porn Asian Teen Ladyboy Porn Tubes Free Lesbian Porn Watch Www Black Gay Porn Xxx Porn Star Sex Video Hd Porn Movies Band D Free Gay Mexican Men Porn Exotic and Hairy Older Mature Porn Free Porn Brutal College Rape Slave Boy Gets Pegged Hard Strapon Porn Lisa Lipps My Friends Hot Mom Porn Porn Best Friends After School Mom and Shemale Porn Worlds Greatest Ebony Submissive Pov Porn Free Porn Videos Withabigal Mac Strapless Gorgeous Curvy Ebony Doggy Porn Free Long Hair Teen Anal Porn Mom Amall Son Porn Free Soccer Gay Porn Male Porn Star Massage Orgasm Videos Toilet Cam Guys Porn Lewis Family Guy Porn Real Daddy Impregnated Porn Cartoon Cat Porn Hd 60 Fps Porn Lesbian Mature Mega Porn Neww Free Brother Sister Porn Randy Spears Porn Movies Interracial Porn Dp Do Porn Stars Require Lubrication for Vaginal Sex Porn Comics Dbz Free Milf Rough Porn Ex Gf Reddit Porn Teen Male Porn Videos Skinny Dirty Blonde 18 Porn Lesbian Porn Kids Black Gay Slave Plantation Porn Videos Master Mature Cougar Pov Porn Julia Teen Porn Caprey Cavanii Anal Porn Baby Belly Movement During Sex Porn Awesome Girl Porn Old Guy With Girl Porn Gif Amateur Lost Bet Porn Ebony Porn Super Hq Porn Comics Spider Girl Bailey Brooks Lesbian Porn Mature Humongus Juggs Porn Black Carmel Porn Pic Free Kayla Kendall Porn Video Slutload Sisters Blow Jobs Porn New Teen Hd Porn Free Rape Sleep Porn Hub Teen Sister is Forced by Brother Porn Stories Interracial Porn Video يح Female Fist Fight Porn Monster Rape Cartoon Porn Lesbian Strapon Orgy Porn Best Free Creampie Porn Sites Gorgeous Arabic Porn Reddit Porn One and Done Milf Layla Butts Road Porn Pic Galleries Sister Brides Brother Inces Porn White Male 16 Inch Porn Star Over the Knee Porn Ebony Porn Boys and Dads Free Porn Shemale Orgy Gay Comic Porn Videos Full Lesbian Porn Storyline Movies Best Porn 2017 Awards Www Sex Xxxx Porn Com Emma Starr Porn Pics Rape Porn Christian Harley Quinn Cosplay Lesbian Porn Homemade Unwanted Anal and Bdsm Porn Gay Porn Time 60 Seconds G Porn Pics Porn but Dicks Replaced With Food Gif Big Asian Tit Porn Pics Leather Chaps Gay Porn Black on Blondes Dp Porn Fat Pussy and Ass Porn Pics Mom Lesbian Teen Porn Sex Porn Snow White Movie Homemade Porn Tube Ghetto Feet Porn Turned on by Bbc Friend Porn Russian Zaya Interracial Porn Velma Lesbian Porn Catsuit Girl Porn Lexi Leigh Porn Pics Xxx Porn Girl Photo Raul Korso Free Gay Porn Video Male Rape Porn Comic Pretty Young White Girl Porn Porn and Pic Porn Brother Prefers Sister Pov Free Mature Porn Bbw Blond School Yiff Porn Comic Porn Blacks Rape White Sexual Trainer Porn Game Male Straight Porn German Porn Anal Morgan Lee Black Grl Porn Site Teenie Sister Incest Porn Asian Anerican Porn Reddit Black Nerd Facefuck Porn Old Men Virgin Porn Leanne Crow Lesbian Porn Gif Porn Bbw Squirting Lez Large Porn Video Free Daddys Friend Gay Porn Black Gay Porn Dads Like Them Young


https://preview.redd.it/jxc5kfawl8b51.jpg?width=225&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0214ecb5add059cf7e72497b7c909e11fd0e292a
submitted by elvs816Jul to Home_Made_Fun [link] [comments]


2020.07.16 09:29 adopt16Jul Sweet Por-n Tube Videoz

Sweet Por-n Tube Videoz
Mother Son Daughter Porn Stories Cartoon Porn Mags Male Cheerleader Rape Porn Black Guy Sumits and Get Redhead Pregnant Porn Realistic Cartoon Porn Pics Sweet German Anal Porn Brat Big Sister Stalker Porn Part 2 Nekomimi Male and Female Porn Porn Guy Men Video Old Fat White Grannies Porn Mom Son Pov Incest Porn Porn for Ps4 Reddit Angela White and Chanel Santini Porn Best Amateur Porn Community Homemade Male Dog Porn Porn Asian Big Tits Mom Free Bw Porn Movies Elizabeth Porn Comic Teen Forced Porn Tub Sororiry Girl Forced Porn Giant 3d Horse Cock Porn Hd Brazalian Craziest Cum Porn Foursome Teen Porn Wife Sharing Haley Hollister Hardcore Porn Porn Lesbian Sex Pic Mature Ebony Big Tit Anal Group Porn Pic's Girls Do Porn Hot Teen Psych Student Best Scenario Porn Porn Women Big Natural Tits 34dd Japanese Porn Game Show Mother 18 Years Old Gay Boy Porn Pornlabia 69 Male Porn Ispansh Porn Anal Teen Gets Raped by Older Guy Porn Porn Jennifer Jacobs Sister Pov Go Big or Go Home Porn Free Punjabi Porn Tube Max Carter Gay Porn Milf Porn Tities White Girl Kidnapped Raped Porn Ebony Chick Booty Moms Porn Indian Maid Porn Tube Evil Bbw Gold 03 Porn German Vintage Teen Porn Juicey Janey Hardcore Porn Porn Pov Best Cheating Bbw Porn Caption 3d Porn Videos With Real People Indian Porn Latest Tube Alien Booty Porn Pics American Raped Arabic Woman Porn Nena Porn Movie Gay Bdsm Porn Stories Ube Porn Hot Milf Real Porn From Africa I Find Two Matures in My Bed Porn Indian Nude Porn Movies Gay Porn Anal Gang Bang Teen Missionary Creampies Porn Porn Cuckold Clean Cum Off Black Tits Free Mature Asian Porn Pics Black Insect Porn Explicit Porn Scene Movies in Hollywoods Breeding Porn Tube Lilly Hall Porn Pics Chunky Teen Porn Hot Hd Asian Porn Talked Sister Into Massage Porn Hot Milf Diaries Porn Xnxx Porn Sex Com Coed Porn Vintage Full Movie Shemale Linda Michell Porn Porn or Pregnancy Baby Shower Game Black Cat Porn Digital Playgrpund Loly Porn Pics Mature Porn Beautiful 30 Minutes of Erotic Lesbians Caught Mom & Dad Porn Best Lesbian Incest Porn Free I Tied My Wife Up Porn Videos Black Ameature Tranny Porn College Rules Jennifer White Porn Asian Jock Gay Porn Male Teacher Gay Porn Porn Star Alicia Lighthouse and Bbc Str8 Bull Gay Porn Hub Homemade Why Are Porn Dicks Floppy My Busty Blonde Sister Fucks Homeless Man Porn Video Porn Lesbian Big Booty Amateur Alt Porn Teens Love Old Guys Porn Egypt Mature Porn Free Anal Fetish Porn Mature Japan Porn Lolipop Chainsaw Shemale Porn Unexpected Anal Porn Wife Force Porn in Braizl Bf Caught Gay Porn Pics Hyapatia Lee's Best Classic Porn Saggy Beach Granny Mature Porn Free Porn Hub Pilly Backshot Ebony But Riding Porn Tube Blond Porn Star Green Stomach Tatoo Husband Rape Sleeping Daughter to Porn Walking Dead Gay Porn Veronica Avluv Dad Porn Cartoon South Park Porn Mom Big O Porn Extreme Sex 1 the Club Porn Movie Experienced Girl Make Guy Cum Porn Ebony Hazel Hd Porn R34 Comics Cartoon Toon Porn Xvideos Anal Porn Free Gay Porn Boyfriend Free First Time Backroom Casting Teen Anal Porn 720p Hairy Pussy Stocking Hardcore Porn Tube Porn Fucks Gf Best Friend Asian Big Boobs in Wet T Shirt Porn Naruto Tumblr Porn Comics Shemale Mobile Porn Sites Blonde Caption Porn Light Skin Rape Porn Sexy Dressed Blondes Fuck Heavy R Porn Videos Sex Indo Porn Bbw With Huge Round Ass Anal Fucked Porn Porn Blowjob Tit Fuck Cum Shot Helpless Teen Anal Porn Porn Xx Lesbian Joanne Storm Bbc Porn Porn With Girl in Short White and Blue Shirt Nervous Redheads First Time Lesbian Porn Hardcore Fre Gay Muscle Porn Black Teacher and Student Porn College Jock Gay Porn Thick Ebony Milf Anal Porn Please Put Your Dick in Me Porn H Ron Jeremy Porn Teen Ebony Animal Man Sex Porn Homemade Porn Videeo Sister in Law Rapes Son Porn Sex Porn Sunny Hot Teen Shemale Masturbates and Eats Own Cum Porn Miss Teen Girls Do Porn Dad's Balls Gay Porn Best Arab Gay Porn Outdoor Porn Civility Photoshop Reddit Wife Scared of Black Dick Husband Film Porn Old Porn Magazines Ca Sister Bad Date Fuck Brother Afyer Date Porn Russian Mature Sleeping Porn Sucking Huge Dick Porn Best Porn Video in Histori Mom Daughters First Porn Shoot Long Dorm Dare Porn Xxx Black Man With Tattoos Licking Porn Tony Duncan Creampie Porn Medieval Porn Tube Blondestormm Milf Porn Kylie Maria Free Porn Pics Black Teen Force Brutal Porn Porn Pictures Tribal Ebony Girls Free Video Porn Russian Old Seduces Youg Porn Black Mature Sara Porn Porn Images of Cartoon Girl Meets World Porn Broken Teens Shane Diesel Porn Portland Slut Amateur Porn Father Daughter Porn With Captions Best Ways to Masturbate Mens Porn Air Force Member Doing Porn Threesomes Old and Young Porn My Daughter in Thoug Porn Black Cheer Leaders Incest Porn New Porn Games Homemade Fat Young Tries First Porn Gif Cartoon Animated Xxx Porn Cumshot Gifs Gif Ashlee Chambers Hd Score Porn Real Classromm Teacher Porn 1981 Porn Movie Amanda by Night Couple Fuck Ebony Maid Porn Erotic Porn Hard Teen Sarah Porn Pics Old Sugar Daddy Porn Best Doggy Style Porn Video Brandi Love Free Porn Movies Milf Compilation Porn Nullo Male Gets Fucked Porn Where Can I Find Real Homemade Porn Mature Homemade Amateur Porn Drunk Husband Friend Forced Me Porn Lesbian Mom Squirt Porn Hentia Porn Comics Porn Hollywood Hd Monster Cock Anal Porn Tube Sexy Tranny Porn Tube Xxxxx Gay Porn Male Porn Star 90s Family Guy Cut Porn Porn Sex With My Teacher Porn Cute Teen Bbc I've Never Done This Before Wife Bbc Casting Porn Mature Redhead Home Amateur Porn Wife Loves Anal Porn Pinkest Pussy in Porn Reddit Barbie Cartoon Porn Videos Taylor White Mandy Snyder Nubiles Porn Mother Daughter Swapping for Lesbian Sex Dinner Porn Most Shocking Porn Tube Brazilian Shemale Army Porn Pictures Blondie Cartoon Porn 3d Naked Female Porn Full Movies Porn Hd Bondage Prisoners Femls Daughter Studying Porn Cute Teen Filipina Porn Aggressive Porn Forced Porn Animated Gif Blonde Spinner Polish Porn Xxx Teen Possy Porn Real Amature Picked Up Porn Mai Usami Porn Pics Sri Lankan Porn Movies New Amateur Porn 80s French Porn Full Movies Porn Sister With Brother Best Porn Scene of the 90s 13 Yeat Old Porn Anal Gangbang Facial Porn Free Indian Porn Mms Videos Swimming Porn Tube Hd Gangbabg Porn Latino Love White Dick Porn Free Bdsm Porn Movies Ebony Step Daughter Lesbian Porn Black Shemale Beating Her Meat Live Porn Free Hd 3gp Porn My Black Step Sister Jenna J Fox Porn Flat Teen Selfie Porn Porn Hub Pretty Ebony Babes Teen Ass Hd Porn Interracial Creampie Hairy Socks Porn Chubby Blonde Porn Video Sites Big Dick Young Twink Gay Porn Sebastian Young Gay Porn Star Brenner Bolton Gay Porn Bareback Porn Movies Free Porn Ebony Lesbian Milf Phat Pussy Ebony Porn Tanned Hot Blonde Porn 16 Year Old Young Indian Hd Small Porn Pornhub Hunger Games Porn Antechanus Porn Comics Teen Babe Old Man Cum Porn Mature Ass Porn Videos Lesbian Porn on a Bus Porn Made for Female Audience Best Free Handjob Porn 10 Year Old Gay Porn Big Black Ass Mia G Xhamster Porn Comparing Dicks Double Blowjob Porn Wicthingoo Porn Comic Muscular Mom Bikini Porn Reddit Slow Motion Porn The Value of Comic Porn Soenna Qest Milf Porn Teen Daughter Porn Videos Blonde Gay Porn Actor With Huge Dick Dad Punish Porn Tumblr Blond Porn Hd Bound and Gaged School Girl Fucked Hard Porn Real Girl Orgasms Watching Porn Reddit Lost Interest in Porn Brutal Rape Fantasy Porn Frostbite Pharah Winter Wonderland Anal Overwatch Porn Video Hentai Furry Trans Porn Next Door Buddies Free Male Gay Porn Junior School Girl Porn First Time With Lesbians Porn Porn Teen Boy Lover Lesbian Sciorss Porn Sleeping Porn Movies Download Rape Sex Tube Porn Korean Girl Hot Porn Big Ass Cartoon Porn Pics Anaconda Dick Vs Black Pussy Porn Black Mom and Daughter Threesome Porn Big Cock Hardcore Teen Butt Fucking Porn Videos Barely Legal Asian Teen Amateur Porn Start My Own Amateur Porn Site Invasion Porn Game Amateur Russian First Dp Porn Alexa Wild Japanese Porn Onsen Gangbang Rape Pornhub Czech Forced Into Porn Free Gay Hawaiian Porn Free Big Cock Little Ass Porn Hd Couples Seduce Couples Porn Porn Sex in the Jungle Brutal Rough and Forced Anal Pain Gay Porn Gay Dare Porn Gangbang Creampie 170 Porn Beatifful Girl Porn Reddit Best Porn Video Collections Fat Latina Lesbian Porn Hd Ben 10 Porn Comics Mom Porn Mom Porn Real College Girl Porn Web Site Best Handstand Porn Scene Elle Flynn Hardcore Porn Gay Homemade Porn Reddit Fingering and Fucking Hard Porn Stars Movies Moms Milf Banged Porn Dp Double Penetration Porn Sex Fucking Porn Men Cuming on Wifes Tits Esperanza Lesbian Porn Reddit Home Made Porn Katarina Hartlova Porn Interracial Incest Gay Sex Porn Korean Rape Schoolgirl Porn Porn Milf Big Boob Family Porn Sex Pic Fucking Hot Lesbian Porn Sence Homemade Wife Used Like Whore Porn Cartoon Hd Porn Movies Big Mom Porn Tube Ebony Bbw Milf Porn Ninja Lesbian Porn Servant Rape Female Master Porn Teens Kidnaped Raped Killed Porn Movies Xxx Incest Porn Videos Erotic Gay Boy Massage Porn Goblin Slayer Rape Scene Porn Africa Uganda Porn Tube New Interracial Porn in 2018 Gay Anime Porn Game Stories Amature Man Solo Showing Off Large Nipples Gay Porn Hd Teen College Porn Blonde Beach Porn Wow Girl Porn Com Bbc Cuckold Home Porn Brazzers Free Hq Porn Mom Best Kinky Porn Sites Mobile Big Porn Japonese Story Full Slip Porn Xxx Funny Cartoon Porn Comics Free Full Adult Porn Movies 2017 Top Porn Tube Porn Star Does Amature Female Porn Photos of Big Ass White Girls Interracial Mature Female Over 40 Black Girl White Guy Porn Pov Curvy Sister Porn Amatuer Teen Stript Porn Porn Hd Definition Dawson Daley Mobile Porn Tube Free Hd Neighbor Porn Gay Porn Porntube 3d Animated Short Film Porn Lois Griffin Porn Game Newgrounds Asian Big Tits Yoga Porn Porn Hd 1080 Best Breaking Teen Porn Ageplay Mom Son Porn White Step Brother Black Step Sister Porn Black Girls Flashing Porn Black Porn Eat Black Ussy Fuck Forced Pussy Licking Stepsister Porn Ebony Porn Video Clips Female Angarans Porn Amateur Wife Watching Porn Lesbian Mom Young Girl Fuck Porn Nude Ebony Shorty Fat Porn Ifuck My Young Daughter Porn Hub Women Spanking Boys Punishment Porn Aged Mature Creampie Porn Brooklyn Rose Interracial Porn Ffxiv Male Highlander Porn Busty Superstars of the 90s Movie Porn Homemade Latina Sluts in Tx Porn Hd Porn Videos Openload Megapack My Dad Wrote a Porn Podcast Daughter Suck Porn Kh Aqua Lesbian Sfm Porn Young Boy Cock Porn Free Xxx Porn Amateur Little Wife Shared and Screaming Orgasm Dp Eat Pussy Porn Amateur 69 Gay Porn Tube Aggressive Mature Ass Licking Femdom Porn Videos Bbw Porn Hamster Amateur Teen Gangbang Porn Classic Porn Teen Dillion Carter 1080p Stranded Teens Porn Ebony Beuauties Porn Videos Www Old Young Porn Top Teen Porn List Hermaphrodite People Pic Porn Cd Girls Porn Hottest Black Porn Site Hardcore Legal Teen Porn Reddit Porn Captions Full Length Foreign Porn Hd Forced Her to Be Mine Porn Claudia Downs Interracial Porn Videos


https://preview.redd.it/d8cos29696b51.jpg?width=128&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=84a233d662ee7cb6e00c0cf1977e37fbfab5958f
submitted by adopt16Jul to Home_Made_Fun [link] [comments]


2020.07.09 23:03 StavoTheArtist For a show that handled Emily's coming out so amazingly well I'm just realizing now that the other LGBTQ rep (or lack there of in some cases) was horrible

For a show that's headed by a queer woman I really wouldve expected better
Emilys constant revolving door of girlfriends when her straight friends had consistent boyfriends from the start
Emily for some reason being switched from bi like she was in the books to being gay in the show
Ali not explicitly saying that she was queer and thus making it seem she was only Emily sexual
Hanna always being weirdly offended that gay girls didn't find her attractive enough to flirt with her. Which is something I never really remember seeing with guys only to never address why this might be the case. Only to not address is and use it for funny throw away lines.
Potraying emison as a normal relationship when Ali played with Emily's head in multiple different ways throught the years
Maya being a queer women of colour and being killed off. Bonus points for never telling us how she was killed or showing us her funeral.
Jenna and Shana ended with another queer POC person dying and possibly being bad
Mona saying "this sounds totally gay" and "I really did love you once" to Hanna. The former being something I've never heard a straight girl say to her friend.
We had an abundance of queer ladies to date Emily but no queer men because apparently queer men
Paige automatically being thought as of A when Emily brings her around
Emily's sex scenes not being as explicit as her straight friends even post time jump when freeform was supposed to be more "grown up". Ali literally had to insinuate that they fooled around in the 100rh episode when we Ezria got a sex scene
Cece being the only trans person and being evil only to kill her off because of the backlash they were getting instead of letting us get to know her more now and get to know about her transition
Sara Harvey's whole character
I'm no fan of emison but they way they were handled to only happen in the last few episodes to then only get a divorce then have Marlene confirm recently that they're back together is too messy for words
Ali's little comment toward Emily in the pilot about loving Beyonce a little too much. We can only assume there was more where that came from so basically a queer woman was low-key trying to out another queer woman. To possibly take suspicion off of herself???
the only way Marlene and the writers could think of to break Ben and Emily up is by having him attempt to rape her because she's not interested in him anymore and might be gay apparently.
Making the only trans person the villian was bad enough but they made Jenna who is a rapist queer in some way too
Talia being a grown married woman and trying to date a then high school aged Emily
submitted by StavoTheArtist to PrettyLittleLiars [link] [comments]


2020.07.07 10:35 buttercupcreamcup Just a few questions about the series and the actress who played her!

Riley was supposed to be the nice guy and at first I was rooting for him. Turned out he became an attention-seeker and quite pathetic. I started finding him selfish and quite toxic. What do you think?
Tara was very nice and a sweetheart but why did she dump Willow? Shouldn't she have stayed by her side to help her cure her addiction to magic? I mean if she had really loved her girlfriend, wouldn't she have helped her?
Did Spike loved Buffy more than Angel and who did Buffy love more?
Spike made Buffy happier than Angel. Right? With Angel, Buffy was not very enthusiastic.
Remember the date orbs, I have always been certain that Andrew would have tried nothing sexual with Katrina since he was gay. Am I right?
Why do fans say Warren was misogynistic. He was sexist, hateful, brainwashed his ex to have sex with him, manipulative and hated Buffy because she was a girl who was stronger than him and I'm almost certain that if he had dated another girl after Katrina in the TV show, he would have been quite abusive. But in my opinion, he was very sexist, not misogynistic. The misogynistic one was Caleb. This man hated women with such a passion.
What made Andrew attracted to Warren instead of Jonathan? Even when Warren died, he did not love Jonathan
Was Rack really that bad?
Is Sara Michelle Gellar a natural blonde?
submitted by buttercupcreamcup to buffy [link] [comments]


2020.07.05 17:47 AllyKhalil More femslash recs! Please share yours :)

Hi all, I made this a while ago and thought it was time to make another.
So as I said in the previous post, I read lots of (mainly femslash) fanfiction and enjoy re-reading stories if they're particularly good. I prefer stories that are long, complete, preferably not slow burn, and very well written! I’m also a massive sucker for hurt/comfort fics :) I'm open to any and all fandoms and often read stories 'fandom-blind' because I need all the femslash I can get :P
Please share some fics with me!
Here's some recs for you:
Pitch Perfect: Starlight by aserenitatum (Stacie Conrad/Aubrey Posen). This fic gave me my new OTP of Stacie/Aubrey and then ruined me for all other authors because I love how she writes them! It's a fake dating AU, which is not my favourite trope but she writes it so freaking well. (“Ready to go, babe?” Stacie asks, sliding her hand along Aubrey’s back, expression softening when Aubrey turns into her body and looks up with a small smile.“Yes,” Aubrey says, slowly leaning in, their noses brushing against each other in a beautifully intimate moment before they kiss slowly, a moment that doesn’t go unnoticed as cameras start flashing in their direction, coming from the horde of photographers following Aubrey and Stacie closely).
Legends of tomorrow: and I will stumble and fall (I'm still learning to love) by lucylikestowrite (Sara Lance/Ava Sharpe). This fic gives me nothing but joy and there's a sequel in progress! This story is basically if swan queen was gay but with Ava and Sara. Seriously fantastic, one of my favourite stories. (The child smiles, and there's something familiar about it. Something that makes Sara’s stomach turn.“I'm your daughter.”“No, you're not,” Sara says, and before she knows what she's doing, she's slamming the door shut, her breathing heavy.or: Sara gave up a baby almost ten years ago. Ava adopted her).
Dirty Computer by KatrinaKenyon (Sara Lance/Ava Sharpe). I just love the premise of this story so much and there's some pretty awesome hurt/comfort moments. (Sara finds out that clones are a thing and apparently everyone at the Time Bureau knows about the AVA that works for them.Or the one where Sara Lance falls for a clone).
Carmilla: Walking After You by standardusername (Laura Hollis/Carmilla Karnstein). They're partners! There's FBI drama! Pining pining pining! (FBI agent, Laura Hollis, is reallocated and assigned a new partner. Agent Carmilla Karnstein is possibly the best agent in the Violent Crimes section and doesn't play well with others).
RWBY: Fractured Ribs and Horsehair by Spinedog (Blake Belladonna/Yang Xiao Long). So I love RWBY (if you've not seen it, go watch it right now for free on youtube)! I am convinced that Blake/Yang will be endgame and in the meantime I need fanfiction to fill in the holes in my heart that cannon have created. This story is brilliant, completely AU and very well-written. (“I’d prefer if we talked this out before gettin’ into uncivil territory, ma’am.”A pair of feline ears flicked at the title, as though uncertain how to process it. Yang couldn’t imagine her being called by anything else.A snap decision unexpectedly binds a stubborn deputy and disillusioned outlaw together, setting them both on a collision course with their own demons. Also, there are horses).
Game of Thrones: Just Dany by Russell_Craig (Arya Stark/Daenerys Targaryen). I have never seen GoT and have no urge to watch/read it as I've decided this story is the real cannon. 150,000 of femslash that can be read completely fandom-blind...so good! (Daenerys had accomplished her goal and taken her place on the throne, so why did she have the unshakable desire to be anyone else? Frustrated with the daily realities of ruling she sneaks away from the Red Keep without telling anyone. With only a few coins, her stallion and the clothes on her back she rides for hours in no particular direction until she comes upon a tavern unlike any in the Capitol. There, she meets a woman who has no idea she's a Queen and gets to experience for a few hours how the other half lives).
Twilight: Luminescence by Avanwolf (Bella Swan/Victoria). Another fandom-blind rec here, I've never seen the books or films and I nevertheless completely loved this story. This is an old favourite of mine (first published in 2013) but it still holds up as a brilliant story. (AU. Bella's always been a little different. Glowing skin and malfunctioning electrical devices are only a small part of the problem. No, Bella's also attracted to a vampire. A vampire who's name doesn't end in 'Cullen'. Victoria/Bella Femslash).
Supergirl: The Universe of Scout by y02mustang (Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor). I'm recommending the whole series here, because all four of the stories are great. This is basically all fluff, and then puppies and kittens for more fluff, but it's really well-written and sometimes I just want Lena to be happy and have a dog. (The dog trainer AU).
Harry Potter: Murder Most Horrid by Useful Oxymoron (Hermione GrangeBellatrix Black). So I'm a big Harry Potter fan an I obviously hate Bellatrix so I nearly ignored this story (despite it's epic length and numerous reviews, which are normally good signs for me). However, I gave it a go and I'm so glad I did. I think this story is the only way I can enjoy this pairing because it's completely AU. I cannot recommend it enough, in fact, I'm currently re-reading it! (In a world where Voldemort never existed, Bellatrix Black is a cynical and dour detective working for the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, subdivision Magical Homicides. When she is tasked to solve a murder at Hogwarts, a certain resident genius called Hermione Granger happens to be her prime suspect. AU, Bellamione, liberal amounts of fluff).
The Worst Witch: somewhere, on the other side of this wide night by hihoplastic (Hecate Hardbroom/Pippa Pentangle). I accidentally found this fandom recently and I'm now obsessed with this pairing. And holy hell, hihoplastic is an incredibly talented author. Basically everything they've written is beautiful but this story is my absolute favourite. (It’s already too much. Being in Pippa’s presence, feeling her soft gaze on her back wherever she goes. It isn’t that she doesn’t adore Pippa’s company, but that she adores it too much. That every hour spent with her is an hour her walls come down, just a little. She thinks, by the end of the week, there may be nothing left, and it terrifies her. Even if they were alone it would terrify her, but with all the students around, she cannot afford any kind of vulnerability. Cannot, even for a moment, want anything more than the week to be over.or, On a weeklong camping trip, Hecate deals with the events of the last year, her feelings for Pippa, and old wounds that haven't quite healed).
submitted by AllyKhalil to femslash [link] [comments]


2020.06.12 15:27 KingDiamondDev TCW Official Watchlist (#2)

This is the official Teen Creep Watch watchlist. This watchlist is here so moderators and users of teen subreddits can find these creeps to avoid/exterminate them. Also, do note that these accounts may be throwaways, so we urge you to be careful when engaging with a stranger on the internet.
DISCLAIMER: THIS LIST MAY BE INACCURATE AT THE TIME YOU ARE READING. WORRY NOT, IF IT IS INACCURATE, SEND US A MODMAIL AND WE WILL FIX IT. THIS IS A COLLECTION OF ACCOUNTS REPORTED HERE, SO IT MAY NOT HAVE ANY ACCOUNTS FROM ANY OTHER COMMUNITIES. AS OUR MODERATORS ARE TEENS, THEY ARE OCCUPIED BY SCHOOL, ATHLETICS, AND EXTRACURRICULARS AND MAY NOT BE ABLE TO FIND TIME TO UPDATE THIS WATCHLIST CONSTANTLY. THANKS FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION.

TO MODS: Remove when 6 month post cap is reached and the post is archived. New list will be made every 6 months.

Previous announcement here: No Doxxing

u/shelbys555
u/sean3388
Ban Status: Banned u/Haydaddict
u/Apollotwinduo2
u/OMBRLayout
u/DaProvoker
u/twfap
u/Vaness_the_mess
u/Melanie_LN
u/xealte
u/solidgainz
u/siudfgwepiougfweorf
u/ParticularArt7
u/anything-here-idk
u/Jacob10319
u/ThisIsAnAlt-
u/toolongtobeballsdeep
u/Orephel
u/chris123456888
u/ifgood_make_it_apet
u/anonym-9309
u/mr50inchdick
u/Icoles199485
u/Blitzkroo
u/notmyfriendsaccount
u/Jacob10319
u/CameronMorrick
u/Upbeat_Wasabi
u/shootthelube
u/dkikikis
u/uppernotlower
u/VadarinseJolie
u/bud1211
u/ArmyMajorBob
u/chizz-swizz
u/AntransparentQuinn
u/JackiesinGayne
u/Rusta125
Bulk: Sinal32#9060, ErikDeaf97#1108, TheMechanoid99#9432, SuperStarfyGuy2002#8790
u/lionsandtigers9
u/WhereTheWieners
u/throwaway699173
u/SuccmyPPPls
u/iloveblackchicks19
u/MoodyGayKid
u/bitchJustwonmyheart
u/marzapan14
u/dragonfable21
u/xXforeskin_gamerXx

Watching

u/GeekyNexi

Danger Zone

Discord - MikeLFCx#1288
u/unclemark1111

NOTE. THIS LIST IS NOT COMPLETE. Will update in due time. Really got to work on my schedule.

LAST UPDATE: 08/20/2020

submitted by KingDiamondDev to TeenCreepWatch [link] [comments]


2020.06.10 19:16 racloves Happy Pride Month! Here’s a list of some LGBT+ artists you should listen to!

I spent a couple hours compiling this list and gathering links and stuff, I’m only including artists who have spoken openly about their sexuality/gender, I’m not here to speculate. I also tried to mainly include pop or pop adjacent music. I will also likely come back and edit to update this post with more artists, so feel free to suggest any in the comments)
(This list is in no particular order)
ALMA / electro pop / lesbian / https://youtu.be/9dmbItlMJiw
Brandi Carlile / alt pop/rock / came out as lesbian in 2002 / https://youtu.be/5r6A2NexF88
Saara Aalto / pop / lesbian / https://youtu.be/syjrB5lVIQI
Gladys Bentley / blues / historic black lesbian! / https://youtu.be/ptIBk2PZK74
Girl in Red / indie pop / lesbian / https://youtu.be/_BMBDY01kPk
Laura Jane Grace / punk rock / trans lesbian / https://youtu.be/Um4_v8FFWKY
Lynn Gunn (of PVRIS) / alt pop / lesbian / https://youtu.be/-zldNM8XYLw
Horse McDonald / indie / lesbian / https://youtu.be/PyE3llJoWaw
King Princess / indie pop / genderqueer and gay / https://youtu.be/LNxWTS25Tbk
Diana King / reggae / came out as lesbian in 2012 / https://youtu.be/szjaHbjhauk
Mary Lambert / R&B, spoken word / lesbian / https://youtu.be/rG4nRI9Wmzk
Left At London / indie pop / non binary trans women, lesbian / https://youtu.be/Zx415xT0gB4
Faith Nolan / folk, jazz / lesbian / https://youtu.be/yNui_-yBsgM
O’Hooley & Tidow / folk / lesbian wives singing duo! / https://youtu.be/YInK5yhBQE0
Carole Pope / rock / lesbian / https://youtu.be/aeYFs9kMOC4
Lucy Spraggan / folk pop / lesbian / https://youtu.be/VLvmUgDmuBs
Tegan and Sara / indie pop / lesbian twins / https://youtu.be/HJOHoiPGpac
Hayley Kiyoko / pop / lesbian / https://youtu.be/anIqZSfxOQU
Olly Alexander (of Years & Years) / electro pop / gay / https://youtu.be/niviooakBLs
John Barrowman / pop / gay / https://youtu.be/xs1hk_o_SuY
Ryan Beatty / bedroom pop / gay / https://youtu.be/x5LaDjqTujY
Big Freedia / electro hip hop / gay / https://youtu.be/KUwBOMtLk8Q
Greyson Chance / pop / gay / https://youtu.be/LmIHKB6OFHQ
Luke Evans / pop / gay / https://youtu.be/pdE-vBKKZC0
Superfruit / pop / Both members are gay / https://youtu.be/r2Kh_XMIDPU
Todrick Hall / pop / gay / https://youtu.be/TQ04gPb4LlY
Mika / pop / gay / https://youtu.be/MnL9CEONfUA
Holland / k pop / gay / https://youtu.be/XE5KFB9LbxY
Elton John / pop-glam rock / gay / https://youtu.be/ZHwVBirqD2s
Adam Lambert / pop rock / gay / https://youtu.be/E53PkThqKDE
Lil Nas X / hip hop / gay / https://youtu.be/bXcSLI58-h8
Ricky Martin / Latin pop / gay / https://youtu.be/htWTuV0apXk
Perfume Genius / indie pop / gay / https://youtu.be/ln4S83JeY2Y
Ben Platt / pop / gay / https://youtu.be/zYAwaAdgqqs
Calum Scott / pop / gay / https://youtu.be/q31tGyBJhRY
Troye Sivan / pop / gay / https://youtu.be/k5TqNsr6YuQ
Sam Smith / pop / gay and non binary / https://youtu.be/PmYypVozQb4
Pabllo Vittar / Latin electro pop / gay / https://youtu.be/4zJ4i6Az2Ck
Conchita Wurst / pop / gay / https://youtu.be/FUBSFzUp924
Will Young / pop / gay / https://youtu.be/wwRwspRPdB4
RuPaul / dance pop / gay / https://youtu.be/M4d20Tyzlv0
Anne-Marie / pop / said she is attracted to men and women but doesn’t label / https://youtu.be/2FtFwAaCjrM
Aurora / alt pop / said she had been in relationships with men and women but doesn’t label / https://youtu.be/7YDkrJaiCrw
Janelle Monáe /R&B / pansexual and non binary / https://youtu.be/tGRzz0oqgUE
Taylor Bennett / hip hop / bisexual / https://youtu.be/JMnhraYhtEI
Phoebe Bridgers / indie rock / bisexual / https://youtu.be/Tw0zYd0eIlk
Tyler Carter / pop/rock / bisexual / https://youtu.be/DCPO_0383TM
Clairo / bedroom pop / bisexual / https://youtu.be/L9l8zCOwEII
Daya / electro pop / bisexual / https://youtu.be/gxmILdU2O6U
Ezra Furman / pop rock / trans and bisexual, uses he or she as pronouns / https://youtu.be/y_SP7aE4tRQ
Lzzy Hale (of Halestorm) / rock / bisexual / https://youtu.be/8hkmuTvkp_s
Halsey / alt pop / bisexual / https://youtu.be/8nBFqZppIF0
Janis Joplin / rock / has publicly been in relationships with both men and women / https://youtu.be/7uG2gYE5KOs
Kesha / pop / bisexual / https://youtu.be/v-Dur3uXXCQ
Lady Gaga / pop / bisexual / https://youtu.be/5L6xyaeiV58
Duncan Laurence / pop / bisexual / https://youtu.be/seIsOmEZlN4
Tove Lo / electro pop / bisexual / https://youtu.be/wBwFLzxOIDk
Mxmtoon / bedroom pop / bisexual / https://youtu.be/Owvji3p7kB0
Frank Ocean / R&B / bisexual / https://youtu.be/XnbsIl2BnWw
Arlo Parks / indie pop / bisexual / https://youtu.be/nYRGfdq0so4
Princess Nokia / hip-hop / bisexual / https://youtu.be/HxTKdmcbOK0
Sia / pop / “I’ve always dated boys and girls and anything in between” / https://youtu.be/vnfGni4_RlI
Slayyyter / electro pop / bisexual / https://youtu.be/y6VY9_KvGK0
Dusty Springfield / pop/soul / has been in public relationships with women / https://youtu.be/oAZLgsDRUv4
Kali Uchis / R&B / bisexual / https://youtu.be/n0tWINt8Ofk
Kim Petras / pop / trans / https://youtu.be/oLmn8qkqzJI
Dorian Electra / pop / gender fluid / https://youtu.be/MDDukLyXY-M
SOPHIE / electro pop / trans / https://youtu.be/es9-P1SOeHU
Kevin Abstract / alt hip hop / gay / https://youtu.be/3UPJGFT1HuI
Rina Sawayama / alt pop / pan/bisexual / https://youtu.be/TO2c06p6m5w
Christine and the Queens / pop / pansexual and genderqueer / https://youtu.be/znAsFBSKSbw
k. d. lang / country / lesbian / https://youtu.be/oXqPjx94YMg
Shura / alt pop / lesbian / https://youtu.be/x2AOjb9HW2E
Kehlani / R&B / queer / https://youtu.be/TmFP1AP-afM
Jake Shears / pop / gay / https://youtu.be/IHn2vE1xxkw
Brooke Candy / electro pop / pansexual / https://youtu.be/vYKzFd-O-xE
Please feel free to reply with any other lgbt+ artists (and links to them confirming their sexuality/gender) I wanted to make sure I got everyone’s identity right in this post. So please also comment with any corrections, or if any of the links don’t work.
Also - if you’re an lgbt+ artist promote yourself!!!
submitted by racloves to popheads [link] [comments]


2020.06.09 00:14 ThirtydaysofPride Thirty Days of Pride with the Making Gay History Podcast, June 8 2020 — Dear Abby

Making Gay History Podcast - Episode 08 — Dear Abby

Episode Notes
To understand how a heterosexual, Jewish, Midwestern daughter of a Russian immigrant singlehandedly influenced how Americans thought about gay people, how parents saw their gay kids, and how gay people felt about themselves, you have to go back in time. Before Google and social media. Before the internet. Before cable TV. Back to a time when everyone read a newspaper and twin sisters born on the 4th of July in 1918 wrote competing syndicated advice columns read by tens of millions of people around the world. Pauline Esther Friedman Phillips wrote the “Dear Abby” column under the pen name Abigail Van Buren. Her twin sister, Esther Pauline Friedman Lederer wrote the “Ann Landers” column.
Episode Transcript
I’m Eric Marcus and this is Making Gay History.
In my first round of interviews for my book, I only spoke to one person who was a household name, Dear Abby. She was also known as Abigail Van Buren. Her given name was Paulene Esther. Her nickname was Popo. And my grandma was just one of 110 million people, every day around the world, who read what Dear Abby had to say.
When I was a kid, my mom sent me to Ziggy’s, the corner candy store, to get the Sunday newspapers. They were really heavy. My favorite part of the paper was the comics. My immigrant grandmother went right to Dear Abby’s column where she could get the latest advice on everything from marriage and children to abortion and homosexuality.
Abby never minced words. Biting humor was her weapon of choice. But whatever the topic, her warmth and compassion and her common sense wisdom came through loud and clear.
Abby began writing her column in 1956. From the start she got letters asking for advice on homosexuality—from gay people who wanted to change to parents who wanted to know what they did wrong. Abby did something no other famous public person did. She said positive things about gay men and women and homosexuality in general. That earned her bags of hate mail and a place in the hearts of gay people everywhere. Dear Abby is my personal hero.
So, not surprisingly, I’m a bit star struck as I pull into Abby’s driveway in Beverly Hills and then walk up to the front door of her French Provincial mini-mansion. I ring the bell. Abby opens her double-height front door and greets me with a welcoming smile. She is tiny, maybe five feet tall. She’s dressed in lavender hostess pajamas and pink fluffy slippers. Her hair is perfectly coifed. Her complexion is flawless.
We take seats at the bar in Abby’s living room. A selection of her old newspaper columns cover the marble counter. My hands shake a bit. Thankfully, I remember to press record.
———
Abby: Well, I want to get all that stuff out of storage and I want that stuff in my office where I can put my hands on it. I don’t care if it’s 1956. Okay? Thanks, honey. Carry on, babe. Bye.
That’s Jimmy. What a trip. He used to be a Catholic priest. He’s now in my office and he’s fabulous. Jimmy Hughes. He’s a darling.
Eric: May I attach this to you? I don’t want to, uh…
Abby: Sure.
Eric: Do you prefer to be called Mrs. Van Buren, Abby…?
Abby: Abby, Abby, Abby.
Eric: Abby, okay. When you first started writing your column in 1956, did you get letters concerning the issue of homosexuality or lesbianism?
Abby: Yah, I did. “How can I change? What can I do to change?”
Eric: Even in 1956 you got that kind of mail?
Abby: Oh, yah. This is an early one. “Dear Abby: To get right to the point, I’m gay. But I don’t like being gay. I want a wife, children, and a normal social life. I also have a career I enjoy greatly, in banking, in which further advancement is impossible if it becomes known that I’m gay. Psychiatrists and other therapists I’ve gone to have tried to help me adjust to my homosexuality rather than help me to change. Abby, adjusting to being homosexual is fine for those who have accepted their homosexuality, but I haven’t. I know I’d be happier straight. Please help me.”
He signs, “Unhappy in Houston.” I say, “Dear Unhappy: Did you choose to be homosexual? If so, then you could choose to be straight. But if you have always had erotic feelings for men instead of women, then face it, you are homosexual and even though you may be able to change your behavior, you will not be able to change your feelings. Some therapists insist that if a homosexual is sufficiently motivated, he or she can become straight. Maybe so, but the chances are slim. Marrying and having children may make you happier, but what about the other people you involve? To thine own self be true. Only then will you find true happiness.”
Did you ever hear of Franz Alexander?
Eric: No, I haven’t.
Abby: Franz Alexander was called the father of psychosomatic medicine. He was born in Budapest. And he was the head of the Chicago Institute for Psychoanalysis. He died in ‘64. He was a very charming, wonderful guy. A very good friend of my husband’s and mine. He said regarding homosexuality of course there is no cure because it’s not a disease.
Eric: Alexander said this.
Abby: Yah. He said, there is no cure. This is where I got my notions originally.
Eric: How far back does that date?
Abby: Maybe 1945, 1946, something around that time. But he gave me a lot of my ideas. He really educated me.
Eric: That was a rather radical way of thinking in those days.
Abby: It certainly was. It was dangerous in some circles.
Eric: Why was it dangerous?
Abby: It took courage to come out and say, “What do you mean sick? This is natural for them. This is the way they go naturally.” Now I’ve known a lot of gay people. And you can change one’s behavior, but you can’t change your feelings. And all these crazy stories that you hear about how they got that way. I’ve always thought people were born that way.
Eric: You must have known people who were gay at that time then, personally.
Abby: Yah, well, my hairdresser. He’s like a brother. And he’s been my hairdresser for about, maybe twenty-nine years. He came from Louisville, Nebraska. Beautiful guy and just a sweetheart. And he had to leave the little town of Louisville because, well, he just couldn’t survive there. I’ve taken him to Korea with me when I was a Miss Universe pageant judge. We just had a ball. He and I are in a helicopter. Have you ever been in a helicopter?
Eric: Thank god, no.
Abby: Okay. And Cloyd is his name of all things.
Eric: Cloyd?
Abby: Cloyd, but he’s not really nellie. But he’s not all that subtle. So we’re in this helicopter—these are all big Army guys, you know. And we go up and then back and his purse slid back. That’s why I said to the, “Hey, hold it,” I said, “My friend lost his purse.” The guys broke up in the front. The guy that was driving the helicopter just cracked up.
Eric: Knowing someone like that from that part of the country I would think it would have given you some insight into what it was like for young kids growing up in small towns who were gay. Did you ever talk about…?
Abby: Oh, yeah. Oh certainly, certainly. Never came out to his parents. He said they couldn’t handle that. His mother just adored him and he was a wonderful son, just a wonderful son.
Eric: You were probably the only voice out there at that time. And I would imagine you received lots of letters from homosexuals, men and women, with questions.
Abby: And parents of gay people, too. Because to them it was, “Where have we gone wrong?” I’d tell them, “You didn’t go wrong. Just love him, love him, love him.” That’s it.
Eric: How did your paper let you get away with it?
Abby: Lots of papers complained, but they never dropped me. The San Diego Union had never published the word homosexual in their newspaper when I started. I was a breakthrough. And they’re still pretty conservative, but that was the first time they’d ever published the word homosexual, unless they dragged a guy… this guy was going to jail or something, but in a column? And to be kindly toward a homosexual? To be understanding?
Eric: It seems things really heated up in the early ‘70s for you. There’s a column I came across in which you write rather strongly. In 1971, you wrote, “To those who wrote to blast me for my refusal to put down the homosexual: The most burdensome problem the homosexual must bear is the stigma placed upon him by an unenlightened and intolerant society. Their sexual bent is as natural and normal for them as ours is for us.” And then you talk about they, too, are God’s children. It seems that—my impression was that things began to heat up in that issue, the homosexuality issue, in the late ‘60s, early ‘70s. That’s when gay civil rights came into bloom. Did you come under more attacks during that time for your comments or did you get a steady stream of hate mail?
Abby: It was a steady stream of hate mail. Every time I’d run something compassionate or sympathetic I would get a lot of, I’d get hate mail. It wouldn’t bother me, but I got a lot of it, but I have made that statement, “God made gays as well as he made straights.” I’ve said that because that’s the way I feel.
I think I’ve always been bold. I never fudged. I never apologized. And I got a lot of… My lord, I tell you the Bible thumpers really let me have it. I was getting Leviticus, and Corinthians, and proverbs and I was getting all that stuff. You’re not going to change their minds because they’re fanatics. They can’t help it because this is the they believe. Fine. That’s okay with me. But don’t tell me what to believe. Biblical injunctions mean nothing to me, because you can find all kinds of contradictions in the Bible. You can find anything you want in the Bible. If it makes people behave better, fine. But if it makes people less understanding of their fellow man, then something is wrong, you see. Your beliefs should make you better and should make you kinder, not more hateful.
Eric: How did you handle the negative mail? Wasn’t it upsetting to you in some way?
Abby: Well, I guess it was upsetting. But it saddened me that people could be so unfeeling. Ignorant.
Eric: What sorts of things did they say to you? Do you recall?
Abby: I ought to burn in hell, you know. Oh, yes.
Eric: Really.
Abby: Oh, sure. The fundamentalist types would say that. “You should be saved.” People want to show me the light. They think I’m misguided. They say, “You’re a good Christian woman.” I always write back and say, “Thank you, you’re very kind, but I hope I’m a good Jewish person, because I am Jewish.” I always let them know that.
Eric: There was a column that you wrote—this is the woman who complained about the new neighbors next door. A strange man, the couple.
Abby: Well, the letter was, this is a nice neighborhood and we’re very disgusted with these types and what could we do to improve the neighborhood. And my answer was, “You could move.” The gays thought it was hilarious. But other than just being amusing, entertaining, there was a good message there.
Eric: Which was?
Abby: Which was that they have a right to be there. If you don’t like it, you could move because they have as much right to be them as you have to be yourself.
Eric: How much of an impact do you think you’ve had as one person on this issue?
Abby: I think I was the, well, I wouldn’t say the first. I was one of the first persons on the national level that wasn’t gay, I wasn’t defending myself. I was defending everyone’s right to be themselves, gay, straight, no matter.
Eric: And that was beginning in the 1960s.
Abby: People tell me it took a lot of guts, but I was happy to have platform, such as I had.
Eric: Were you at all concerned that your views on this subject would harm your career, because at the time you wrote, the 1950s, 1960s, even to the ‘70s…
Abby: I had an awful lot of people who thought I was wrong, why should I stick my neck out for them, you know. That didn’t bother me. I never lost a paper that I know of because of this.
Eric: Where does the courage come from?
Abby: I don’t know. Eric, I can’t tell you. But it must have been there. It was there all the time. I got a love letters as well as hate letters. That keeps me going.
Eric: Those are the ones you read.
Abby: I read ‘em all.
Eric: Thank you so much for your time. It’s been a pleasure talking about this.
Abby: Eric, a pleasure and I wish you much success with your book. I know it’s going to be good. You ask good questions.
Eric: Thank you.
———
Soon after I interviewed Abby, she introduced me to her daughter Jeanne. We became fast friends. Jeanne took over the “Dear Abby” column from her mom in 2002 and like her mom she’s been a fierce ally to gay people and a champion of LGBT rights.
Jeanne’s mother died on January 16, 2013. She was 94. If you’ve never seen a picture of Abigail Van Buren, Jeanne’s mom, have a look at the iconic photo from the mid-1960s I’ve posted at makinggayhistory.com. I don’t know about you, but when I look at that photo I can’t imagine not taking her advice.
I’ve got a few key people to thank for making this podcast possible. Thank you to our executive producer, the hard-working Sara Burningham, our audio engineer Casey Holford, and our composer, Fritz Myers.
Thank you also to our social media guru, Hannah Moch, our webmaster Jonathan Dozier-Ezell, and Zachary Seltzer, the man responsible for each episode’s show notes. We had production help from Jenna Weiss-Berman, who believed in this podcast even before it was a podcast.
Making Gay History is a co-production of Pineapple Street Media, with assistance from the New York Public Library’s Manuscripts and Archives Division.
Funding is provided by the Arcus Foundation, which is dedicated to the idea that people can live in harmony with one another and the natural world. Learn more about Arcus and its partners at ArcusFoundation.org.
And if you like what you’ve heard, please subscribe to Making Gay History on iTunes, Stitcher, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can also listen to all our episodes on makinggayhistory.com. That’s where you’ll find photos and information about each of our interview subjects.
So long. Until next time.
###
submitted by ThirtydaysofPride to lgbt [link] [comments]


2020.06.06 21:10 ThirtydaysofPride Thirty Days of Pride with the Making Gay History Podcast, June 6th 2020 — Jeanne & Morty Manford (The founding of PFLAG)

Making Gay History Podcast - Episode 06 — Jeanne & Morty Manford
Episode Notes
By the time Jeanne Manford’s gay son Morty was beaten up at a 1972 protest, she had already lost her older son Charles to suicide. She wasn’t going to lose another son. And not at the hands of anti-gay bigots. So the shy, petite elementary school teacher from Flushing, Queens, put pen to paper and wrote a letter to the New York Post (which was then a liberal newspaper) expressing her outrage at the incident and stating, “I have a homosexual son and I love him.” The letter was published in the April 29, 1972; no parent had ever written such a letter before that was published in a major newspaper.
That letter and Jeanne’s subsequent participation in the 1972 New York City Gay Pride March set Jeanne and her son on a path that led to the founding of the first organization for parents of gay people that ultimately became PFLAG (originally known as Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays). Jeanne is yet another inspiring example of how one person can help change the course of history by having confidence in her beliefs, speaking up, and organizing. She’s an example for us all!
By the way, that 1972 protest was held at the Hilton Hotel during an annual dinner for New York City politicians and the political press. Morty was handing out leaflets protesting a New York Daily News editorial with the headline, “Any Old Jobs for Homos.” And the lead sentence was “Faires, nances, swishes, fags, lezzies, call ‘em what you please.” Morty was assaulted by Michael Maye, who was then the head of the New York City firemen’s union. He was never charged for his crime.
Episode Transcript
I’m Eric Marcus and this is Making Gay History.
For this episode we’ve dug into our stack of cassette tapes for a story that dates back to the early 1970s. It’s about Jeanne Manford and her son Morty. They founded a group for parents of gay people in 1973. Today it’s an international organization called PFLAG. Originally that stood for Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays. It’s got 400 chapters across the country.
By the time I came out to my mom in 1977 I knew about PFLAG. So when my mom told me that she wanted me to see a psychiatrist I told her I’d go if she went to a PFLAG meeting. She said no. I said no. Big mistake. We both would have been better off. But thirteen years later my mother went to her first PFLAG meeting. She became such activist that I had to remind her that I was the gay one, that this was my issue. I’ve put a photo of my mom on makinggayhistory.com website from the 1993 gay march on Washington and you’ll see she paid no attention to me.
Jeanne and Morty’s story starts with a letter. I wish you could hear this story from the beginning, but I screwed up the audio. I thought I’d be interviewing Jeanne Manford by herself. But when I got to her house it turned that Morty was there, too, so I interviewed them together.
But I hadn’t done a double interview before.They were already part way through telling me about how Jeanne came to write a letter to a New York City newspaper about her gay son when I realized there was a problem with the sound. And that’s where we’ll pick up the story.
So, the context. 1972. Morty was 21. He’d gone to a protest against the New York Daily News, which had published a very offensive editorial calling gay people “fairies, nances, swishes, fags, and lezzes.” There are some words there that I hadn’t heard before used against gay people.
At the protest Morty got the shit kicked out of him by the president of the New York City Firemen’s union, who was never charged. Several protesters wound up in the hospital, including Morty. You can read all about the protest in our show notes on makinggayhistory.com.
So it’s seventeen years later and I’m sitting with Jeanne and Morty at the dining room table of the Manford family home in Flushing, Queens. Jeanne is a widow and Morty has moved home to live with his mom. He’s an assistant New York State attorney general.
Jeanne is very soft-spoken. Her face is framed by a halo of silver hair. Morty is not soft spoken. He’s handsome and his thick curly hair is chestnut brown. I have no idea where I put the microphone, but I definitely pressed record.
———
Eric: Interview with Jeanne Manford and Morty Manford on Saturday, May 13, 1989. Interviewer is Eric Marcus. Location is the Manford home in Queens, New York. Tape one, side one.
Jeanne: I had a call from the hospital and then I sat down and wrote a letter to The New York Post.
Eric: Did you have any hesitation about writing this letter?
Jeanne: No. I mean I was furious.
Eric: Why were you furious. What infuriated you?
Jeanne: What right have they got to assault my son and others. And why didn’t the police protect them? I guess it was the first time a mother ever sat down and said, “Yes, I have a homosexual child.”
Eric: Were you hesitant at all about saying that?
Jeanne: No, I didn’t even think about it. And I was amazed that Morty told me that it received such wide notice and that he had so many calls at the time from people.
Eric: What did you think of your mom?
Morty: I thought she was terrific! It seemed to me on one level to be a very natural kind of reaction and concern and involvement for a parent. What I thought was extraordinary was that other people weren’t doing the same at that time.
Eric: What made your mother different?
Morty: She’s a unique person.
Jeanne: I’ve always felt that Morty was a very special person. And I wasn’t going to let anybody walk over him.
Morty: Well, I mean a lot of parents who knew their gay children were gay felt their families were very important to them. The question is, what about our family? I would have to say that we were always very open thinkers. This was an area that they really didn’t understand. There was a lot of ignorance, but they were willing to consider what are the prejudices that we’re taught and are they in fact founded in any reality or are they pure prejudice. We’d all learned a great lesson from the black civil rights movement of the early ‘60’s and the women’s movement. And I think my parents agreed that the principles of civil rights for blacks and for women were just demands. And this was simply bringing into the discussion a new civil rights perspective.
Eric: How do we get then from this first letter to what has now become a national/international federation? Did you have any idea that this could come to pass? That you would wind up being in such a public position? You seem like a very private person.
Jeanne: Not at that time. Not at that time. I’m very shy, by the way. And I was not the type to… I’ve never belonged belonged to organizations. I never tried to do anything. So it just happened, you know.
Now I was asked to be on a television show in Boston and…
Morty: The three of us went. Went went out to Cincinnati. At one point my parents appeared on a TV show in New Orleans.
Jeanne: I was in Boston five times, Cleveland, two or three times Detroit.
Morty: Every talk show in New York City.
Jeanne: Because we were the only people who were willing to go public. We felt that it was a way of educating the public, you know, making people understand and besides that when I did march with Morty, was it ’72?
Eric: Did you ask your mom to march?
Jeanne: Yeah, you came to me and you said, you know, he said, “Will you march with us?” I said to him, “I will march if you let me carry a sign.”
Morty: “Parents of Gays: Unite In Support for Our Children.”
Eric: How did people react to you?
Jeanne: They screamed! They yelled! They ran over and kissed me. “Would you talk to my mother.” “Wow, if my mother saw me here…,” you know. They just couldn’t believe that a parent would do that.
Morty: It was unbelievable because I had been in the previous year’s march also. And the outpouring of emotion from our own community was overwhelming. Nobody got the loud emotional cheers that she did.
Jeanne: They were fearful of telling parents. Most of them wouldn’t tell. And many had been rejected because the parents knew. I guess they just didn’t feel that any parent could be supportive of any gay child.
Morty: The symbolic presence that my mother provided was a sign of great hope that parents can be supportive, that the people we’re closest to, whom we love the most need not be our enemies, can be our supporters.
Jeanne: As Morty and I walked along during that first march so many people said, “Talk to my parents,” and there were phone calls. All day long my phone was ringing. So that’s when we decided though, during the march, to start something, some kind of organization.
Eric: What kind of organization did you have in mind?
Morty: An organization for parents.
Jeanne: To talk to each other. To know that you’re not the only one. Because each person thinks, I’m the only one who has a child who is homosexual and nobody was willing to let anyone else know about it. To get together and to talk to people and say, “Look, there’s nothing wrong with them.”
Morty: And an organization which would be supportive of the struggle for gay liberation.
Jeanne: The parents group was a bridge between the gay community and the straight community, heterosexual community.
Eric: How so? How did you see it doing that?
Jeanne: Well, I think when we did finally have the meeting, I think I may have voiced some day, you know, we will fight for the rights of our children. We will become political. We will have a national organization. I remember thinking that at the very beginning. But the immediate thing was to talk to parents and help them come to terms with the fact that they have a gay child and there was nothing to be ashamed of. Nothing was wrong with it. He or she was no different than anybody else.
Eric: Did you get calls regularly at home from people?
Jeanne: There were so many and so many letters. They were upset they had a child who was homosexual. I told them to come to the meeting and talk. At the meetings they would tell me how much I had helped them on the phone.
Morty: It was not so much what my mother said, but that she said it. I remember her many times saying, “There’s nothing wrong with your son being gay or your daughter being lesbian.” We’ve been taught by society that there’s something wrong and society has been wrong. This is a civil rights issue. People had never heard this before and to hear it from another parent, a peer. They expected to spend the phone conversation in tears with someone at the other end saying, “Now, now, dearie.” But that’s not what they got. I think the effect was to make them stop a minute.
Jeanne: You don’t just believe everything you’re told by society. And that society could be wrong.
Morty: Police were still raiding bars where gays were. Gays had no job protection in any city in this country whatsoever. There was still the stigma of being gay. They used to be fond of saying that the churches said we were sinners. The psychiatrists said we were sick. Capitalists said we were subversive. Communists said we were immoral. And many gays also accepted those prejudices, if only tacitly.
Eric: There was no one to say otherwise.
Morty. There was no pro-gay propaganda. The support wasn’t out there. I think the emergence of the parents group at this time provided a much needed pro-gay propaganda. We had to reach our own and then reach the world.
The general public will listen to parents in a different way than they will listen to advocates who are gay.
Eric: What has your mother been able to do that you weren’t able to do?
Morty: To speak to a lot of bigots and get through on a level that mere political or social discussion wouldn’t accomplish. A lot of people will look at parents and they can identify with parents. They look at me and they say, “There is a gay person. I’m not like him.” And therefore they’re not listening to what I’m saying. But they would say, “I have a mother and father, too. Let us understand what they’re saying.” On that level I think they’ve been able to reach a lot of people we wouldn’t have been able to reach alone.
Eric: So you changed lives all over this country, really, through your work.
Jeanne: I think at one time you told me my picture was over a bar in Brazil someone told you?
Eric: At a gay bar?
Morty: Somebody came back from Brazil and said they were in a bar and they saw my mother’s picture on the wall, a big mural, with her marching.
Jeanne: And someone said there was an article in the, was it the London Economist? We were in Kinsey. And I know my niece was taking a course in college and she turned [the page] and she said, “Oh, that’s my uncle and aunt.” So we never knew what made us famous or infamous.
Eric: So in your own way you were a quiet revolutionary to these people.
Jeanne: Well, I made the revolutionary calendar the following June.
Eric: What is the revolutionary calendar?
Morty: There was a calendar that somebody published, which I picked up over on St. Mark’s Place. And it had for each month a picture of some occasion. When Mao Tse-Tung’s birthday was, there was a picture of Mao. There was, I think, a picture of Dr. Martin Luther King during his birthday month. And for June, guess who the calendar girl was?
Jeanne: Well, before you turned to June, you said this is not a true revolutionary calendar unless it talks about the gay march, about gays. And when you turned the page, there you saw my picture.
Eric: Were you surprised?
Morty: Sure I was.
Jeanne: I considered myself such a traditional person that I didn’t even cross the street against the light.
———
For a shy person Jeanne was fierce. And I knew it was her love for Morty that drove her. But it always felt like there was something more behind it. Then just recently I heard that Morty had an older brother, Charles.
I called Morty’s sister Suzanne and asked about him. She said it was something the family never talked about. Charles killed himself in 1966. He was 22. There was my answer. Jeanne wasn’t gonna’ lose another child.
So Jeanne was determined to make the world a safer place for her son and the rest of us, too. But she couldn’t save Morty from a virus. He died from complications of AIDS on May 14, 1992. He was only 41.
A month after Morty died, my mom and I did an event at the gay center in Manhattan for the publication of Making Gay History, my book. We read from Jeanne and Morty’s interview—pretty much what you’ve just heard. And then I introduced Jeanne. Oh, my goodness. Three hundred people got to their feet and cheered. People wouldn’t stop applauding until Jeanne came up to the microphone to say a few words. She was so tiny that her head hardly poked above the podium.
Just one more anecdote about Jeanne and I only just learned that my mom figures into this one as well. Eleven months after Morty died Jeanne got a call from an out, gay elementary school teacher in Queens named Danny Dromm. In those days there were virtually no out teachers.
Danny asked Jeanne to be the grand marshal of the first Queens Gay and Lesbian Pride Parade. Now, I’m from Queens and growing up there it felt the last place that would have a gay pride parade. Jeanne said yes. But there was a condition. She wanted Danny to help her start a Queens chapter of PFLAG.
And where is Danny the elementary school teacher now? He got himself elected to the New York City Council. And he chairs the Council’s Committee on Education. I met with Danny recently and he told me that he knew my mom. Turns out my mom helped Danny and Jeanne start the Queens PFLAG chapter. I had no idea. My mom’s been dead twelve years. I wish I could tell her how proud I was of her.
Jeanne spent the last years of her life with her daughter Suzanne and her husband just outside San Francisco. She died in 2013. She was 92. She outlived her Golden Boy by three decades.
One month after Jeanne died, President Obama awarded her with the 2012 Presidential Citizens Medal, which recognizes citizens of the United States who have performed exemplary deeds of service for their country or their fellow citizens. Jeanne’s daughter accepted the award at a White House Ceremony in her mother’s honor. To see a photo of that ceremony and to learn more about Jeanne, Morty, and PFLAG, please visit our website at makinggayhistory.com. That’s where you’ll also find the iconic 1972 photo of Jeanne carrying her “Parents of Gays” sign.
I’ve got a few key people I’d like to thank for making this podcast possible. Thank you to our executive producer, Sara Burningham, our audio engineer Casey Holford, who worked very hard on fixing the sound for this episode, and our composer, Fritz Myers.
Thank you also to our social media guru, Hannah Moch, our webmaster Jonathan Dozier-Ezell, and our head of research, Zachary Seltzer. We had production help from Jenna Weiss-Berman, who believed in this project before it was even a podcast.
Making Gay History is a co-production of Pineapple Street Media, with assistance from the New York Public Library’s Manuscripts and Archives Division.
Funding is provided by the Arcus Foundation, which is dedicated to the idea that people can live in harmony with one another and the natural world. Learn more about Arcus and its partners at ArcusFoundation.org.
And if you like what you’ve heard, please subscribe to Making Gay History on iTunes, Stitcher, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can also listen to all our episodes on makinggayhistory.com.
So long. Until next time.
###
submitted by ThirtydaysofPride to lgbt [link] [comments]


2020.06.05 21:24 ThirtydaysofPride Thirty Days of Pride with the Making Gay History Podcast, June 5th, 2020 - Frank Kameny

Making Gay History Podcast - Episode 05 — Frank Kameny

Episode Notes
Here are the absolute basics of what you need to know about Frank Kameny, who lived a long and extraordinary life. He was fired from his federal government job in 1957 because he was gay. He didn’t just go home and pull the covers over his head. He fought a successful eighteen-year-battle with the government to change the law so the same thing didn’t happen to other gay people.
Along the way Frank founded a militant gay rights group in 1961 in Washington, DC, and in 1965 organized the first public protests by gay people in front of the White House, among other places. In 1968 Frank also coined the then-radical “Gay Is Good” battle cry. Beginning in the early 1970’s he fought successfully (along with Barbara Gittings and others) to get homosexuality removed from the list of mental illnesses. And Frank’s impressive list goes on.
Listening to Frank’s episode you learn that he lived by three rules that should inspire us all:
Have absolute confidence in your beliefs;
Fight for what’s right;
Never, ever give up.
Knowing the basics of Frank Kameny’s life isn’t nearly enough, so we encourage you to explore some of the resources below.
———
For students and scholars, there is a treasure trove of Frank Kameny’s papers (77,000 items!) to be found at the The Library of Congress.
View a selection of items from Frank’s Library of Congress collection here.
You can also explore some of what’s available at The Library of Congress on a now out-of-date website devoted to Frank’s papers.
Here’s an article about some of the artifacts of Frank’s activist career that are in the possession of the Smithsonian’s National Museum of American History.
Executive Order 10450 was used to fire gay people like Frank Kameny from their federal jobs.
In 2009 the U.S. Government officially apologized to Frank for his 1957 firing from his job with the Army Map Service because he was gay. You can read about it here, including the government’s letter of apology.
Frank Kameny is featured in a ReDistricted comic anthology, which includes additional links and videos (including a fantastic Charles Osgood tribute to Frank on “CBS Sunday Morning” from October 16, 2011).
For a collection of Frank’s letters, which provides insight into his remarkable life and work, have a look at Michael Long’s book, Gay Is Good: The Life and Letters of Gay Rights Pioneer Frank Kameny.
You can find Frank Kameny’s oral history in Eric Marcus’s book Making Gay History.
Frank would have been very pleased to know (although he wouldn’t have been surprised!) that he rated a New York Times obituary.
Episode Transcript
I’m Eric Marcus and this is Making Gay History.
In 1953, President Dwight D. Eisenhower signed an executive order that essentially banned gay people from federal employment. It was an incredibly paranoid time in our nation’s history. The anti-communists thought they saw subversives behind every tree and traitors under every rock.
So the federal government set out to fire all employees they believed threatened the nation’s security. And gay people were a huge risk. Why? Because they could be blackmailed by foreign spies. And why could they be blackmailed? Because they had to keep secret they were gay. And why did they have to keep secret that they were gay? Because they could be fired from their jobs, lose their homes, even lose their families if anyone knew they were gay. Don’t bother trying to figure out that logic because it’ll make your head explode.
One of the people who lost his job because he was a known homosexual was an astronomer employed by the Army Map Service named Frank Kameny. They had no idea what they were doing when they fired Frank.
Frank wound up becoming one of the most militant and important thinkers and leaders of the LGBT civil rights movement long before it was called the LGBT civil rights movement or even the gay rights movement.
So I went to Washington to interview Frank. It was a surprisingly mild early June day when I arrive at Frank’s house in Washington, DC. It’s a modest two-story post-war brick Colonial in a leafy prosperous neighborhood just outside the center of the city. His house is a bit scruffy around the edges with a lawn that could use some attention, too.
Frank greets me at the door wearing a white button down shirt and gray slacks. He looks like a retired scientist out of central casting. And he’s a bit scruffy around the edges, too. So Frank strikes me as the kind of person you’d expect to have a pocket protector in his shirt pocket filled with a half-dozen pens and pencils.
I don’t get a tour of the house. We go directly to Frank’s office. There are files and unidentifiable dust-covered piles everywhere. Frank takes a seat behind his desk. He motions for me to sit, and is ready to go. I quickly clip the microphone to his shirt because I don’t want to miss a word. He’s already talking as if addressing an auditorium filled with hundreds instead of an audience of one.
A lesson I learned a long time ago is that when a bulldozer is coming toward you, get out of the way. Frank was a bulldozer and I’m going to get out of the way and let him tell his story.
———
Eric: Interview with Frank Kameny. June 3, 1989, at the home of Frank Kameny in Washington, DC. Interviewer is Eric Marcus.
Frank: You will learn when you talk to me that I cast my sentences by putting all the modifying clauses and words at the beginning. And you have to listen, go along, and ultimately you will find what it is that I am modifying. So…
Eric: And my tendency is to interrupt, so do whatever you need to.
Frank: So, I was called in and said that “We have information that leads us to believe that you are a homosexual. Do you have any comment?” I said, “What’s the information?” They said, “We can’t tell you.” And I said, “Well, then I can’t give you an answer. You don’t deserve it. And in any case, this is none of your business.” Which got them upset because bureaucrats never like to be told that something is none of their business. That basically was the interview. Ultimately it resulted in my termination late that year.
Eric: You must have been shocked.
Frank: Well, yes, of course.
Eric: How did they do it? Did they come into your office?
Frank: No. They issue a… the way the government does anything. They issue you a letter.
Eric: Did they say we’re dismissing you because you were a homosexual?
Frank: Yes, for homosexuality. Such firings were not uncommon in that period.
Eric: Were you depressed by it?
Frank: Naturally, because I had no source of income. The next two or three years were extremely difficult. In fact, by the time I got into 1959 I was living for about eight months on 20 cents worth of food a day, which even by 1959 prices was not terribly much. It was a great day when I could afford five cents more and put a pat of butter on my mashed potatoe.
But meanwhile, by that time, I had decided that basically what this amounted to was a declaration of war against me by my government. “A,” I don’t grant my government the right to declare war against me. And “B,” I tend not to lose my wars.
I went through such appeal procedures as there were, which take you through the lower level of the bureaucracy and then on the philosophy that ultimately the head of the executive branch of the government is the president, you go to the top. And I have always gone to the top on these things. So I worked my way right on up without success, ultimately to letters to the president.
I… my feeling is that you always pursue things to their final conclusion. I was put in touch with a local attorney who had been a congressman and who was willing then, my having exhausted everything, my having exhausted everything, to take my case on a contingent fee basis, since I had no money.
In 1960 the U.S. Court of Appeals turned it down. And he indicated that he felt it was hopeless and therefore he didn’t want to pursue it further. I said I did. So he gave me a copy of the Supreme Court rules and told me about filing pro se documents. Pro se means for yourself. And in theory, any citizen can any time do anything that a lawyer will do, can do it for himself if he chooses. It’s not always wise, but you have the prerogative under our system always of doing it for yourself. You’re not required to have a lawyer.
I had the rule book. I don’t know if you’re familiar with Supreme Court procedure. It’s a double round. You have two knocks at the door. Your first effort is a knock at the door to say, “Will you let me in or won’t you let me in?” And if they say, “No,” that ends it. If they say, “Yes,” then you prepare all your briefs and really go at it. The first knock is called a petition for writ of certiorari.
And so he gave me some other petitions. And whenever I had questions, my philosophy then as now is, I pay for the government with my taxes, therefore they’re there to serve me. So if I had questions I called up the Supreme Court. Or walked over there and said, “Here’s my question. Give me an answer,” which they did, very nicely, not the Justices of course. I ultimately drafted and filed my own petition.
The government then put its disqualification of gays under the rubric of immoral conduct. The word simply does not belong in any issuance in this country. Morality is a matter of personal opinion and individual belief on which any American citizen may hold any view he wishes and upon which the government has no power or authority to have any view at all. But more than that, then having stated a general principal, you have to apply it very specifically and pointedly to the case at hand and that was that in my view homosexuality is not only not immoral, but is affirmatively moral. And that was the theme that underlay that. And that was the direct address to the government’s policy. And it had to be said and nobody else had ever said it that I know of in any kind of a formal court pleading.
And in March, not unpredictably, came the letter. As I recall, it was on blue paper. I still have it upstairs, signed by Chief Justice Warren, indicating that certiorari had been denied. That ended the formal case. But the battle went on for another fourteen years.
Eric: What the government essentially did is they turned an intellectual bookish astronomer into a radical.
Frank: Thank you for using that word. I have had cases over the years that I’ve been handling this or meek, mild, unassertive, un-aggressive people who just want to go about doing their work and suddenly they are hit hard. They are trampled upon with a hob-nailed boot and suddenly it does exactly that. It radicalizes them! And off they go marching militantly! And case after case after case. So anyway…
Eric: So by ‘61 you had become radicalized.
Frank: Oh, very much so. Very much so. So anyway…
Eric: Oh, boy, they had no idea what they were getting themselves into.
Frank: So, anyway, we founded the organization. And now the movement of those days, and I say this next, not critically, and not necessarily derogatorily, because it was a very, very, very different era. We were sick. We were sinners. We were perverts. You have your long litany or pejoratives. There was absolutely nothing whatsoever which anybody heard at any time anywhere at all which was other than negative! Nothing! And so the movement, predictively, in retrospect, responded accordingly. And that was the nature of the movement.
Eric: People were frightened and they had good reason to be.
Frank: It was not only frightened, it was simply a lack of intellectual strength. We had to defer to the experts.
Eric: Oh, you hated that, didn’t you.
Frank: My answer was, “We are the experts on ourselves and we will tell the experts they have nothing to tell us!” But it took a few years to get that across.
The movement of those days was a very unassertive, apologetic, defensive kind of structure. Not taking strong positions. Giving a hearing to everybody and saying, “All views must be heard, even those with the most harshly and viciously condemnatory. As long as it dealt with homosexuality they must be given a fair hearing.” Drivel! And I… That didn’t suit my personality. And the Mattachine Society of Washington was formed around my personality.
We characterized ourselves within the movement as an activist militant organization. Well, those were very dirty words in those days in the movement such as it was. This was ’61 and ’62.
Eric: No one else was, except for the civil rights movement just…
Frank: It was just beginning. Even within the gay movement, even more so. You weren’t supposed to be.
Eric: Did you have an overall goal? A stated plan of what you were going to do as an organization?
Frank: That was sort of set out in our statement of purposes, which I could dig out.
Eric: Generally, what was it?
Frank: Generally to work for gay rights, although gay rights as such wasn’t necessarily the phrase of choice of those days. But to achieve equality for homosexuals and homosexuality against heterosexuals and heterosexuality. Equality, I guess, was the primary theme.
Eric: That wasn’t born in ’69, those ideas.
Frank: Oh, certainly not! ‘69 wouldn’t have happened if we hadn’t come along.
Eric: But as you know, that’s not how it…
Frank: Well, they’re wrong. We started—to digress before I get back—we started picketing here in ‘65, which first created the mind set which allowed for gays doing openly public things by way of demonstration, as gays. There would not have been Stonewall if the mind set hadn’t already been established by us for that in ‘65, with our subsequent demonstrations year by year which were widely publicized in New York, at Independence Hall every Fourth of July each year after ’65. And which was being publicized in ’69 in preparation for that one when Stonewall occurred. And it would have never have occurred to gay people to do anything publicly if we hadn’t already started it.
Eric: What happened to your case though?
Frank: My case was dead with the Supreme Court. That ended that permanently.
Eric: The Commission changed its rule in ‘75. You must recall first hearing about that.
Frank: They called me up. By that time I was on—I speak with obvious hyperbole and figuratively—on virtually daily communication with the general counsel of the Civil Service Commission. He knew my cases. He knew other things that had come along.
Eric: So people were coming to you.
Frank: Oh, yes, he had informed me eighteen months before in ‘73 that they were beginning the process of changing their policy, but there are a lot minds that had to be changed inside the Commission and he informed me that it was going to come out on July 4, except that July 4 was a holiday, so it was going to have to be July 3, very appropriately. And that’s when they issued the news release and the formal change in policy.
Eric: July 3, 1975.
Frank: Yes, 1975. And that carried the day very nicely, until, of course, in ‘78, under the Carter administration, the Civil Service Reform Act went through Congress and that abolished the Civil Service Commission under that name. It’s the Office of Personnel Management, the O.P.M. Changed all the laws. So that, that’s one battle, one book, that has nicely been closed and put on a shelf as a complete success.
So at this point I’m sort of, I don’t know, people call me a living legend or…
Eric: I’ve heard that phrase. Do you like being called a living legend?
Frank: It doesn’t bother me. It’s complimentary. Or humorously, the world’s oldest living homosexual. Or the grandfather or the great-grandfather of the gay movement, which is not technically correct, as you well know.
Life takes its turnings, and you don’t foresee them. But ultimately, in retrospect, life has been more exciting and stimulating and interesting and satisfying and rewarding and fulfilling than I ever could possibly have dreamed it would have been.
———
I hope that by hearing Frank’s voice and a bit of his story that you have a sense of why he continues to inspire me and so many others.
There are three key lessons that Frank has taught me that I want to share with you:
Have confidence in your beliefs;
Fight for what’s right;
And even in the darkest of times, never, ever, give up.
We’re recording this two days after the election and part of me feels like giving up. I’m scared. I’m angry. I’m heartsick. But part of me also feels like I need to do something. On my own. And collectively. So I’m going to hang on to Frank’s fighting spirit for inspiration and remind myself that he didn’t give up. I shouldn’t give up. We shouldn’t give up. Not now. Not ever. No way.
I have two favorite photographs of Frank that I’ve posted on our website at makinggayhistory.com. The first is from a protest Frank organized and led in front of the White House in 1965. So for anyone who thinks there wasn’t a gay rights movement before 1969, look at that photograph. They are dressed in coats and ties for a good reason. Frank was an incredible marketer. His belief was, “Don’t get in the way of your message.” And if you wear a coat and tie and the women wear skirts and heels—which looks pretty ridiculous to our eyes—they knew, Frank knew, that you don’t get in the way of your message.
Frank is carrying a sign that says, “We Want: Federal Honorable Discharge…”—they weren’t even fighting to stay in the military; they at least wanted honorable discharges if they were thrown out—”Security Clearance…”—because you couldn’t get a job in the government and needed security clearance—and they wanted “Conferences with Our Government Officials.” So you’ll see that sign that Frank is carrying.
The second photo is of Frank shaking President Obama’s hand at a 2009 White House ceremony after signing a memorandum providing benefits to the same-sex partners of federal employees. This was before marriage equality became the law of the land. You can only see Frank from the side, but his smile and the President’s smile light up the room. In 2009, Frank also got a formal letter of apology from the U.S. Government for having fired him in 1957. Persistence paid off.
For a man who fought to break down the barriers between the federal government and the nation’s gay citizens, it seems fitting that Frank’s extensive papers now reside in the Library of Congress. And that’s thanks to the efforts of my friend Bob Witeck and several others.
Frank died on October 11, 2011, just weeks before his house was listed in the U.S. National Register of Historic Places. You can find it online. Frank was 86.
Many talented people made this podcast possible. Thank you to our executive producer, Sara Burningham, our audio engineer, Casey Holford, and our composer, Fritz Myers.
Thank you also to our social media guru, Hannah Moch, for getting the word out about us, our webmaster Jonathan Dozier-Ezell, who’s made our podcast website a beautiful thing, and Zachary Seltzer, the man responsible for each episode’s show notes. We had production help from Jenna Weiss-Berman who believed in this podcast even before it was a podcast and always gives me good advice.
Making Gay History is a co-production of Pineapple Street Media, with assistance from the New York Public Library’s Manuscripts and Archives Division.
Funding is provided by the Arcus Foundation, which is dedicated to the idea that people can live in harmony—we can hope—with one another and the natural world. Learn more about Arcus and its partners at ArcusFoundation.org.
And if you like what you’ve heard, please subscribe to Making Gay History on iTunes, Stitcher, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can also listen to all our episodes on makinggayhistory.com. That’s also where you’ll find photos and information about each of our interview subjects, including Frank Kameny.
So long. Until next time.
submitted by ThirtydaysofPride to lgbt [link] [comments]


2020.06.05 21:24 ThirtydaysofPride Thirty Days of Pride with the Making Gay History Podcast, June 5th, 2020 - Frank Kameny

Making Gay History Podcast - Episode 05 — Frank Kameny

Episode Notes
Here are the absolute basics of what you need to know about Frank Kameny, who lived a long and extraordinary life. He was fired from his federal government job in 1957 because he was gay. He didn’t just go home and pull the covers over his head. He fought a successful eighteen-year-battle with the government to change the law so the same thing didn’t happen to other gay people.
Along the way Frank founded a militant gay rights group in 1961 in Washington, DC, and in 1965 organized the first public protests by gay people in front of the White House, among other places. In 1968 Frank also coined the then-radical “Gay Is Good” battle cry. Beginning in the early 1970’s he fought successfully (along with Barbara Gittings and others) to get homosexuality removed from the list of mental illnesses. And Frank’s impressive list goes on.
Listening to Frank’s episode you learn that he lived by three rules that should inspire us all:
Have absolute confidence in your beliefs;
Fight for what’s right;
Never, ever give up.
Knowing the basics of Frank Kameny’s life isn’t nearly enough, so we encourage you to explore some of the resources below.
———
For students and scholars, there is a treasure trove of Frank Kameny’s papers (77,000 items!) to be found at the The Library of Congress.
View a selection of items from Frank’s Library of Congress collection here.
You can also explore some of what’s available at The Library of Congress on a now out-of-date website devoted to Frank’s papers.
Here’s an article about some of the artifacts of Frank’s activist career that are in the possession of the Smithsonian’s National Museum of American History.
Executive Order 10450 was used to fire gay people like Frank Kameny from their federal jobs.
In 2009 the U.S. Government officially apologized to Frank for his 1957 firing from his job with the Army Map Service because he was gay. You can read about it here, including the government’s letter of apology.
Frank Kameny is featured in a ReDistricted comic anthology, which includes additional links and videos (including a fantastic Charles Osgood tribute to Frank on “CBS Sunday Morning” from October 16, 2011).
For a collection of Frank’s letters, which provides insight into his remarkable life and work, have a look at Michael Long’s book, Gay Is Good: The Life and Letters of Gay Rights Pioneer Frank Kameny.
You can find Frank Kameny’s oral history in Eric Marcus’s book Making Gay History.
Frank would have been very pleased to know (although he wouldn’t have been surprised!) that he rated a New York Times obituary.
Episode Transcript
I’m Eric Marcus and this is Making Gay History.
In 1953, President Dwight D. Eisenhower signed an executive order that essentially banned gay people from federal employment. It was an incredibly paranoid time in our nation’s history. The anti-communists thought they saw subversives behind every tree and traitors under every rock.
So the federal government set out to fire all employees they believed threatened the nation’s security. And gay people were a huge risk. Why? Because they could be blackmailed by foreign spies. And why could they be blackmailed? Because they had to keep secret they were gay. And why did they have to keep secret that they were gay? Because they could be fired from their jobs, lose their homes, even lose their families if anyone knew they were gay. Don’t bother trying to figure out that logic because it’ll make your head explode.
One of the people who lost his job because he was a known homosexual was an astronomer employed by the Army Map Service named Frank Kameny. They had no idea what they were doing when they fired Frank.
Frank wound up becoming one of the most militant and important thinkers and leaders of the LGBT civil rights movement long before it was called the LGBT civil rights movement or even the gay rights movement.
So I went to Washington to interview Frank. It was a surprisingly mild early June day when I arrive at Frank’s house in Washington, DC. It’s a modest two-story post-war brick Colonial in a leafy prosperous neighborhood just outside the center of the city. His house is a bit scruffy around the edges with a lawn that could use some attention, too.
Frank greets me at the door wearing a white button down shirt and gray slacks. He looks like a retired scientist out of central casting. And he’s a bit scruffy around the edges, too. So Frank strikes me as the kind of person you’d expect to have a pocket protector in his shirt pocket filled with a half-dozen pens and pencils.
I don’t get a tour of the house. We go directly to Frank’s office. There are files and unidentifiable dust-covered piles everywhere. Frank takes a seat behind his desk. He motions for me to sit, and is ready to go. I quickly clip the microphone to his shirt because I don’t want to miss a word. He’s already talking as if addressing an auditorium filled with hundreds instead of an audience of one.
A lesson I learned a long time ago is that when a bulldozer is coming toward you, get out of the way. Frank was a bulldozer and I’m going to get out of the way and let him tell his story.
———
Eric: Interview with Frank Kameny. June 3, 1989, at the home of Frank Kameny in Washington, DC. Interviewer is Eric Marcus.
Frank: You will learn when you talk to me that I cast my sentences by putting all the modifying clauses and words at the beginning. And you have to listen, go along, and ultimately you will find what it is that I am modifying. So…
Eric: And my tendency is to interrupt, so do whatever you need to.
Frank: So, I was called in and said that “We have information that leads us to believe that you are a homosexual. Do you have any comment?” I said, “What’s the information?” They said, “We can’t tell you.” And I said, “Well, then I can’t give you an answer. You don’t deserve it. And in any case, this is none of your business.” Which got them upset because bureaucrats never like to be told that something is none of their business. That basically was the interview. Ultimately it resulted in my termination late that year.
Eric: You must have been shocked.
Frank: Well, yes, of course.
Eric: How did they do it? Did they come into your office?
Frank: No. They issue a… the way the government does anything. They issue you a letter.
Eric: Did they say we’re dismissing you because you were a homosexual?
Frank: Yes, for homosexuality. Such firings were not uncommon in that period.
Eric: Were you depressed by it?
Frank: Naturally, because I had no source of income. The next two or three years were extremely difficult. In fact, by the time I got into 1959 I was living for about eight months on 20 cents worth of food a day, which even by 1959 prices was not terribly much. It was a great day when I could afford five cents more and put a pat of butter on my mashed potatoe.
But meanwhile, by that time, I had decided that basically what this amounted to was a declaration of war against me by my government. “A,” I don’t grant my government the right to declare war against me. And “B,” I tend not to lose my wars.
I went through such appeal procedures as there were, which take you through the lower level of the bureaucracy and then on the philosophy that ultimately the head of the executive branch of the government is the president, you go to the top. And I have always gone to the top on these things. So I worked my way right on up without success, ultimately to letters to the president.
I… my feeling is that you always pursue things to their final conclusion. I was put in touch with a local attorney who had been a congressman and who was willing then, my having exhausted everything, my having exhausted everything, to take my case on a contingent fee basis, since I had no money.
In 1960 the U.S. Court of Appeals turned it down. And he indicated that he felt it was hopeless and therefore he didn’t want to pursue it further. I said I did. So he gave me a copy of the Supreme Court rules and told me about filing pro se documents. Pro se means for yourself. And in theory, any citizen can any time do anything that a lawyer will do, can do it for himself if he chooses. It’s not always wise, but you have the prerogative under our system always of doing it for yourself. You’re not required to have a lawyer.
I had the rule book. I don’t know if you’re familiar with Supreme Court procedure. It’s a double round. You have two knocks at the door. Your first effort is a knock at the door to say, “Will you let me in or won’t you let me in?” And if they say, “No,” that ends it. If they say, “Yes,” then you prepare all your briefs and really go at it. The first knock is called a petition for writ of certiorari.
And so he gave me some other petitions. And whenever I had questions, my philosophy then as now is, I pay for the government with my taxes, therefore they’re there to serve me. So if I had questions I called up the Supreme Court. Or walked over there and said, “Here’s my question. Give me an answer,” which they did, very nicely, not the Justices of course. I ultimately drafted and filed my own petition.
The government then put its disqualification of gays under the rubric of immoral conduct. The word simply does not belong in any issuance in this country. Morality is a matter of personal opinion and individual belief on which any American citizen may hold any view he wishes and upon which the government has no power or authority to have any view at all. But more than that, then having stated a general principal, you have to apply it very specifically and pointedly to the case at hand and that was that in my view homosexuality is not only not immoral, but is affirmatively moral. And that was the theme that underlay that. And that was the direct address to the government’s policy. And it had to be said and nobody else had ever said it that I know of in any kind of a formal court pleading.
And in March, not unpredictably, came the letter. As I recall, it was on blue paper. I still have it upstairs, signed by Chief Justice Warren, indicating that certiorari had been denied. That ended the formal case. But the battle went on for another fourteen years.
Eric: What the government essentially did is they turned an intellectual bookish astronomer into a radical.
Frank: Thank you for using that word. I have had cases over the years that I’ve been handling this or meek, mild, unassertive, un-aggressive people who just want to go about doing their work and suddenly they are hit hard. They are trampled upon with a hob-nailed boot and suddenly it does exactly that. It radicalizes them! And off they go marching militantly! And case after case after case. So anyway…
Eric: So by ‘61 you had become radicalized.
Frank: Oh, very much so. Very much so. So anyway…
Eric: Oh, boy, they had no idea what they were getting themselves into.
Frank: So, anyway, we founded the organization. And now the movement of those days, and I say this next, not critically, and not necessarily derogatorily, because it was a very, very, very different era. We were sick. We were sinners. We were perverts. You have your long litany or pejoratives. There was absolutely nothing whatsoever which anybody heard at any time anywhere at all which was other than negative! Nothing! And so the movement, predictively, in retrospect, responded accordingly. And that was the nature of the movement.
Eric: People were frightened and they had good reason to be.
Frank: It was not only frightened, it was simply a lack of intellectual strength. We had to defer to the experts.
Eric: Oh, you hated that, didn’t you.
Frank: My answer was, “We are the experts on ourselves and we will tell the experts they have nothing to tell us!” But it took a few years to get that across.
The movement of those days was a very unassertive, apologetic, defensive kind of structure. Not taking strong positions. Giving a hearing to everybody and saying, “All views must be heard, even those with the most harshly and viciously condemnatory. As long as it dealt with homosexuality they must be given a fair hearing.” Drivel! And I… That didn’t suit my personality. And the Mattachine Society of Washington was formed around my personality.
We characterized ourselves within the movement as an activist militant organization. Well, those were very dirty words in those days in the movement such as it was. This was ’61 and ’62.
Eric: No one else was, except for the civil rights movement just…
Frank: It was just beginning. Even within the gay movement, even more so. You weren’t supposed to be.
Eric: Did you have an overall goal? A stated plan of what you were going to do as an organization?
Frank: That was sort of set out in our statement of purposes, which I could dig out.
Eric: Generally, what was it?
Frank: Generally to work for gay rights, although gay rights as such wasn’t necessarily the phrase of choice of those days. But to achieve equality for homosexuals and homosexuality against heterosexuals and heterosexuality. Equality, I guess, was the primary theme.
Eric: That wasn’t born in ’69, those ideas.
Frank: Oh, certainly not! ‘69 wouldn’t have happened if we hadn’t come along.
Eric: But as you know, that’s not how it…
Frank: Well, they’re wrong. We started—to digress before I get back—we started picketing here in ‘65, which first created the mind set which allowed for gays doing openly public things by way of demonstration, as gays. There would not have been Stonewall if the mind set hadn’t already been established by us for that in ‘65, with our subsequent demonstrations year by year which were widely publicized in New York, at Independence Hall every Fourth of July each year after ’65. And which was being publicized in ’69 in preparation for that one when Stonewall occurred. And it would have never have occurred to gay people to do anything publicly if we hadn’t already started it.
Eric: What happened to your case though?
Frank: My case was dead with the Supreme Court. That ended that permanently.
Eric: The Commission changed its rule in ‘75. You must recall first hearing about that.
Frank: They called me up. By that time I was on—I speak with obvious hyperbole and figuratively—on virtually daily communication with the general counsel of the Civil Service Commission. He knew my cases. He knew other things that had come along.
Eric: So people were coming to you.
Frank: Oh, yes, he had informed me eighteen months before in ‘73 that they were beginning the process of changing their policy, but there are a lot minds that had to be changed inside the Commission and he informed me that it was going to come out on July 4, except that July 4 was a holiday, so it was going to have to be July 3, very appropriately. And that’s when they issued the news release and the formal change in policy.
Eric: July 3, 1975.
Frank: Yes, 1975. And that carried the day very nicely, until, of course, in ‘78, under the Carter administration, the Civil Service Reform Act went through Congress and that abolished the Civil Service Commission under that name. It’s the Office of Personnel Management, the O.P.M. Changed all the laws. So that, that’s one battle, one book, that has nicely been closed and put on a shelf as a complete success.
So at this point I’m sort of, I don’t know, people call me a living legend or…
Eric: I’ve heard that phrase. Do you like being called a living legend?
Frank: It doesn’t bother me. It’s complimentary. Or humorously, the world’s oldest living homosexual. Or the grandfather or the great-grandfather of the gay movement, which is not technically correct, as you well know.
Life takes its turnings, and you don’t foresee them. But ultimately, in retrospect, life has been more exciting and stimulating and interesting and satisfying and rewarding and fulfilling than I ever could possibly have dreamed it would have been.
———
I hope that by hearing Frank’s voice and a bit of his story that you have a sense of why he continues to inspire me and so many others.
There are three key lessons that Frank has taught me that I want to share with you:
Have confidence in your beliefs;
Fight for what’s right;
And even in the darkest of times, never, ever, give up.
We’re recording this two days after the election and part of me feels like giving up. I’m scared. I’m angry. I’m heartsick. But part of me also feels like I need to do something. On my own. And collectively. So I’m going to hang on to Frank’s fighting spirit for inspiration and remind myself that he didn’t give up. I shouldn’t give up. We shouldn’t give up. Not now. Not ever. No way.
I have two favorite photographs of Frank that I’ve posted on our website at makinggayhistory.com. The first is from a protest Frank organized and led in front of the White House in 1965. So for anyone who thinks there wasn’t a gay rights movement before 1969, look at that photograph. They are dressed in coats and ties for a good reason. Frank was an incredible marketer. His belief was, “Don’t get in the way of your message.” And if you wear a coat and tie and the women wear skirts and heels—which looks pretty ridiculous to our eyes—they knew, Frank knew, that you don’t get in the way of your message.
Frank is carrying a sign that says, “We Want: Federal Honorable Discharge…”—they weren’t even fighting to stay in the military; they at least wanted honorable discharges if they were thrown out—”Security Clearance…”—because you couldn’t get a job in the government and needed security clearance—and they wanted “Conferences with Our Government Officials.” So you’ll see that sign that Frank is carrying.
The second photo is of Frank shaking President Obama’s hand at a 2009 White House ceremony after signing a memorandum providing benefits to the same-sex partners of federal employees. This was before marriage equality became the law of the land. You can only see Frank from the side, but his smile and the President’s smile light up the room. In 2009, Frank also got a formal letter of apology from the U.S. Government for having fired him in 1957. Persistence paid off.
For a man who fought to break down the barriers between the federal government and the nation’s gay citizens, it seems fitting that Frank’s extensive papers now reside in the Library of Congress. And that’s thanks to the efforts of my friend Bob Witeck and several others.
Frank died on October 11, 2011, just weeks before his house was listed in the U.S. National Register of Historic Places. You can find it online. Frank was 86.
Many talented people made this podcast possible. Thank you to our executive producer, Sara Burningham, our audio engineer, Casey Holford, and our composer, Fritz Myers.
Thank you also to our social media guru, Hannah Moch, for getting the word out about us, our webmaster Jonathan Dozier-Ezell, who’s made our podcast website a beautiful thing, and Zachary Seltzer, the man responsible for each episode’s show notes. We had production help from Jenna Weiss-Berman who believed in this podcast even before it was a podcast and always gives me good advice.
Making Gay History is a co-production of Pineapple Street Media, with assistance from the New York Public Library’s Manuscripts and Archives Division.
Funding is provided by the Arcus Foundation, which is dedicated to the idea that people can live in harmony—we can hope—with one another and the natural world. Learn more about Arcus and its partners at ArcusFoundation.org.
And if you like what you’ve heard, please subscribe to Making Gay History on iTunes, Stitcher, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can also listen to all our episodes on makinggayhistory.com. That’s also where you’ll find photos and information about each of our interview subjects, including Frank Kameny.
So long. Until next time.
submitted by ThirtydaysofPride to askgaybros [link] [comments]


2020.06.03 22:33 ThirtydaysofPride Thirty Days of Pride with the Making Gay History Podcast, June 3rd 2020 — Edythe Eyde

Making Gay History Podcast - Edythe Eyde

Episode Notes
Edythe Eyde, a.k.a. Lisa Ben, moved to Los Angeles in 1945 and by 1947 was working as a secretary at RKO Pictures where she used her office typewriter as a printing press to anonymously publish her landmark “magazine” for lesbians, “Vice Versa.”
In the 1950s, when Edythe started writing for the The Ladder, the Daughters of Bilitis magazine (DOB was an organization for lesbians founded in 1955), she took the pen name “Lisa Ben” (an anagram for “lesbian”). Her first choice for a pen name had been “Ima Spinster,” but that idea was shot down by the magazine’s editors. Edythe told Eric Marcus, “I thought that was funny and they didn’t. I don’t know whether they thought it was too undignified or what, but they objected strongly. If I had been as sure of myself then as I am these days I would have said, ‘Alright, take it or leave it.’ But I wasn’t. So I invented the name Lisa Ben.”
Until five years before her death at the age of 94, Edythe lived in the Burbank, California, bungalow that she had paid for with earnings from her work as a secretary—work she hated. When age compelled her to give up her house and move to an assisted living facility, Edythe also had to give up the company of her thirteen cats, which proved to be a devastating loss.
To learn more about Edythe Eyde, we recommend exploring the resources and links that follow below.
———
Edythe Eyde’s papers and photographs are housed at the ONE Archives at the USC Libraries.
All nine issues of “Vice Versa” are reproduced in full on Queer Music History’s website.
The Daughters of Bilitis Video Project recorded an interview with Edythe in October 1988, which is available through the Lesbian Herstory Archives. You can watch here.
Scholar Kate Litterer has taken a deep dive into Edythe Eyde’s collection at the ONE Archives at the USC Libraries to learn everything she can about “this fascinating, funny, talented creator. The more I study Ben, the more I learn about just how far her talents reached: she was a talented editor and writer, thoughtful musician, and cutting-edge sci-fi and poetry author.” Learn more about Kate’s work here.
The Washington Post‘s podcast series on WW II letters featured an episode about the letters of Edythe Eyde to her soldier cousins. The accompanying article includes background on Edythe’s life prior to her move to Los Angeles.
In an extraordinary 2011 tribute to Edythe Eyde’s groundbreaking work publishing “Vice Versa” Union Bank, as part of its “Community Matters” spotlight series, which “highlights key individuals and places that were instrumental in creating the communities we live in today,” produced this 45-second video. We can only imagine how much this ad would have pleased Edythe.
In 2010, The Association of LGBTQ Journalists (NLGJA) welcomed Edythe Eyde into its Hall of Fame.
To learn more about how Edythe created “Vice Versa,” we recommend Rodger Streitmatter’s Unspeakable: The Rise of Gay and Lesbian Press in America, which chronicles the stories of many gays and lesbians who created LGBT-oriented publications.
To learn more about Edythe and twenty-one other lesbian writers, read Kate Brandt’s Happy Endings: Lesbian Writers Talk About Their Lives and Work.
Episode Transcript
I’m Eric Marcus and this is the Making Gay History podcast.
In our third episode you’ll meet Edythe Eyde, whose pen name was Lisa Ben. Back in the 1950s, a lot of people who got involved in the movement didn’t use their real names because if you were found out you could lose your job and even lose your family.
But Edythe’s story starts even before that, in 1947, when she published what she called “Vice Versa: America’s Gayest Magazine.”
It was a newsletter, for lesbians. She typed it on her office typewriter at RKO Pictures where she was a young secretary. Her boss told her she should look busy, but not knit and not read. So what do you do? You write a newsletter for lesbians in 1947 and give them out to your friends.
But before she could tell me her story, I had to find her. And all I had to go on was her pen name and that she lived in California. It took me three months and 26 phone calls to find her. This was pre-Internet, so there was no choice. And on the 26th phone call, she answered. So not long after, I was sitting with her on her enclosed front porch with two of her thirteen cats. She’d bought the house with money from years working as a secretary. She hated working as a secretary.
I’d read that Edythe was well-known in the ‘50s for singing parodies of popular songs in Los Angeles gay clubs. She wrote her own lyrics as a protest against the demeaning jokes gay entertainers told for the benefit of straights. And, if you can imagine, the straights would show up at the clubs in the evening to see how the other half lived and they’d stand in the back.
So I asked Edythe if she could sing a few songs for me. So, here she is, Edythe Eyde, live from the front porch of her Burbank bungalow. You can’t not smile.
———
Eric: Okay.
Edythe: [Clears throat] Uh, I’m off now?
Eric: You’re on.
Edythe: Oh, I’m on?
Eric: You can test, and I’ll just…
Edythe: Oh, okay…
Eric: …you’re ready to warm up.
Edythe: Yeah, I need to warm up a little bit. I should tune up a little bit first.
[Edythe singing]: Hello young lovers, whatever you are. I hope your problems are few. All you cute butches lined up at the bar, I’ve had a love like you…
Edythe: I knew the way I felt, but I didn’t know how to go about finding someone else that was that way and there was just no way to find out in those days. You know, everything was pretty closed about things like that.
I wrote “Vice Versa” mainly to keep myself company because I thought that although I don’t know any gay gals now, by the time I finish a couple of these magazines I’m sure I will. I was such a little optimist. And then I’ll hand the magazines out for free. I never charged for them. I felt that that would be wrong. But, uh, it was just some writing that I wanted to do to get it off my chest and I was a very lonely person and I could sort of fantasize this way by writing the magazine, you see.
And so that’s the way the magazine was. And I put in five copies at a time with carbon paper and I wrote it through twice, so that made ten copies of Vice Versa. That’s all I could manage. You see, there were no duplicating machines in those days.
I would also say to the girls as I passed the magazines out, “Now when you get through with this, don’t throw it away. Pass it on to another gay gal.” We didn’t use the term lesbian so much then. We just said gay gal.
Eric: Uh, hmm.
Edythe: And I said, and that way, although… it will pass from friend to friend. And it’s not dated material, so it will never get stale. I mean they’re just fiction and poetry and that sort of thing, book reports and things of that nature. There were very few books around at the time, but I wrote a book review on “The Well of Loneliness,” and a couple of other ones I can’t remember.
And then if there were any movies around that had the slightest tinge of two girls being interested in one another or something, I would take that story within the movie and play it up and say, “Oh, such and such a movie has a scene in it with two young ladies and they seem to be interested in one another or something like that.” I would play it up. And then I wrote poetry, not a great deal of it, but a few things.
And, uh, then, uh, oh I’d write the end… the “Watchama-Column.” And that was just ideas that happened off the top of my head that I would write about and say, “Wouldn’t it be wonderful if…” Or, you know, I’d just sort of, uh, uh, fantasize about… Not fantasize exactly, but…
Eric: Imagine?
Edythe: Imagine, thank you, umm, uh, fantasize about how things might be in the future with us or something like that.
It was a sort of a light thing, a frivolous thing, it wasn’t anything of great merit, I don’t think, but it was just to round out the magazine because I was getting awfully scarce on material.
Eric: What were some of the things you imagined in your columns?
Edythe: Well, I imagined that perhaps we would have a lot of magazines and that perhaps even movies might be made about us. And, uh, I would hope that someday we would not be looked down on with so much disdain and things of that nature.
Eric: I think that this may be where you… this is the column… this is the article, “Here to Stay.” It says, “Whether the unsympathetic majority approves or not it looks as though the third sex is here to stay.”
Edythe: Yeah, that’s the one.
Eric: Shall I read that or would you prefer to read it onto the tape because I’d like to read it onto the tape?
Edythe: So, oh, okay, go ahead.
Eric: September 1947, volume one, number four. Whether the unsympathetic majority approves or not, it looks as though the third sex is here to stay. With the advancement of psychiatry and related subjects, the world is becoming more and more aware that there are those in our midst who feel no attraction for the opposite sex. It is not an uncommon sight to observe mannishly attired women or even those dressed in more feminine garb strolling along the street hand-in-hand or even arm-in-arm, in an attitude which certainly would seem to indicate far more than mere friendliness.
Homosexuality is becoming a less and less taboo subject, and although still considered by the general public as contemptible, or treated with derision, I venture to predict that there will be a time in the future when gay folk will be accepted as part of regular society.
Edythe: I remember that.
Eric: Just as certain subjects, once considered unfit for discussion now are used as themes in many of our motion pictures, I believe that the time will come when, say, Stephen Gordon, will step unrestrained from the pages of Radclyffe Hall’s admirable novel, Well of Loneliness, onto the silver screen and once precedent has been broken by one such motion picture others will be sure to follow.
Perhaps even “Vice Versa” might be the forerunner of better magazines dedicated to the third sex, which in some future time might take their rightful place on the newsstands beside other publications to be available openly and without restriction to those who wish to read them.
In these days of frozen foods, motion picture palaces, compact apartments, modern innovations and female independence, there is no reason why a woman would have to look to a man for food and shelter in return for raising his children and keeping his house in order unless she really wants to.
Never before have circumstances and conditions been so suitable for those of lesbian tendencies.
Edythe: I guess I did use the term there.
Eric: Gives me chills! 1947. You had guts!
Edythe: Ha, ha, ha! Well, it surprises me now, too, reading back. I mean, reading this now, because I haven’t read it for so long I had to stop and think, “Well, did I write that? Or did somebody else?” but I wrote it. That’s me in there, heh, heh, heh.
Eric: That’s pretty bold stuff.
Edythe: Well, I guess it is. I never thought of it as being, uh, being bold at the time. I was just, as I say, I was just sort of fantasizing. But it all has come to pass. Heh.
Eric: What has…?
Edythe: Makes me feel like a fortune-teller. Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Yeah, that’s the key of D.
Edythe [singing]: If you’re disposition’s gay, be mighty glad you’re made that way.
Don’t frown ‘cause your world’s upside down.
Why should you be thought a fool for not conforming to the rule?
It has its advantages abound.
Now the ladies are the fairest sex as everybody knows.
Their charms are emphasized in ads and even movin’ picture shows.
I can’t convince the fellows I’m not daffy in the head, ‘cause I’m savin’ all my kisses for the little gal instead.
Mama nature played it smart when she tied a string around my heart and said, “No, no, no, no,” to me.
My kind of lovin’s lots of fun, but I’m glad when all is said and done there’s no, a no responsibility.
Now science claims that like repels and opposites attract, but since I’ve been in Hollywood I sure don’t know that that’s a fact.
When ere I see a likely lassie swayin’ down the street, I must curb my natural urge to whistle at each one I meet.
Never act as though you mind if people sometimes seem unkind.
Keep smilin’ though you may be blue.
And no matter what you are, if you hitch your wagon to a star, you’ll find your share of happiness, too.
———
I spoke with Edythe a few times in the months after I first interviewed her. And each time she answered her phone she said, “Hello Eric,” in her incredibly upbeat voice. And I asked her how she knew it would be me. And she said that no one ever called, and if the phone rang she just figured it would be me.
When I started work on this podcast I decided to call Edythe just on the off chance that she was still answering her phone From what I could tell from a quick online search, she was still alive and she would have been about 93 or 94 at this point. But her phone was disconnected.
It took a few emails and phone calls to find out that Edythe died on December 22, 2015. She was 94. What really surprised me was that I didn’t know. And I didn’t know because there wasn’t a single obituary published anywhere for one of the earliest, most optimistic, and engaging fortune tellers of the LGBTQ civil rights movement.
To jog my memory about the sweet house where I sat with Edythe and listened to her sing and play her guitar, I did a Google search. What I found took my breath away. The house was gone and in its place was a new house, set far back on the lot with a concrete driveway occupying the place where Edythe’s house once stood. It felt like Edythe had been wiped from the face the earth.
If you want to see what our education partners are doing to bring this precious history into classrooms across the country, have a look at unerased.org.
I’d like to thank our hardworking executive producer, Sara Burningham, our wonderfully meticulous engineer Casey Holford, our patient composer, Fritz Meyers. Thank to Hannah Moch, our social media guru, our webmaster, Jonathan Dozier-Ezell. And we had production assistance from the incredibly talented Jenna Weiss-Berman, whose enthusiasm, excitement, and dedication to this project has made it possible.
The Making Gay History podcast is a co-production of Pineapple Street Media, with funding from the Arcus Foundation. Learn more about Arcus and its partners at ArcusFoundation.org.
And if you like what you’ve heard, please subscribe to the Making Gay History podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can also find all our podcasts on our website at makinggayhistory.com.
———
Edythe [singing]: Scattered are we, overland, oversea.
How many we number will never be known.
Each one must learn from the start. She must wear a mask on her heart.
And live in a world set apart. A shy separate world of her own.
Here’s to the days that we yearn for, to give of our hearts as we may.
Love’s always love in sincerity given, despite what the others may say.
The world cannot dare to deny us.
We’ve been here since centuries past.
And you can be sure our ranks will endure as long as this old world will last.
So here’s to a fairer tomorrow, when we’ll face the world with a smile.
The right one beside us to cherish and guide us.
This is what makes life worthwhile.
The right one beside us to cherish and guide us.
This is what makes life worthwhile.
submitted by ThirtydaysofPride to askgaybros [link] [comments]


2020.06.03 22:32 ThirtydaysofPride Thirty Days of Pride with the Making Gay History Podcast, June 3rd 2020 — Edythe Eyde

Making Gay History Podcast - Edythe Eyde

Episode Notes
Edythe Eyde, a.k.a. Lisa Ben, moved to Los Angeles in 1945 and by 1947 was working as a secretary at RKO Pictures where she used her office typewriter as a printing press to anonymously publish her landmark “magazine” for lesbians, “Vice Versa.”
In the 1950s, when Edythe started writing for the The Ladder, the Daughters of Bilitis magazine (DOB was an organization for lesbians founded in 1955), she took the pen name “Lisa Ben” (an anagram for “lesbian”). Her first choice for a pen name had been “Ima Spinster,” but that idea was shot down by the magazine’s editors. Edythe told Eric Marcus, “I thought that was funny and they didn’t. I don’t know whether they thought it was too undignified or what, but they objected strongly. If I had been as sure of myself then as I am these days I would have said, ‘Alright, take it or leave it.’ But I wasn’t. So I invented the name Lisa Ben.”
Until five years before her death at the age of 94, Edythe lived in the Burbank, California, bungalow that she had paid for with earnings from her work as a secretary—work she hated. When age compelled her to give up her house and move to an assisted living facility, Edythe also had to give up the company of her thirteen cats, which proved to be a devastating loss.
To learn more about Edythe Eyde, we recommend exploring the resources and links that follow below.
———
Edythe Eyde’s papers and photographs are housed at the ONE Archives at the USC Libraries.
All nine issues of “Vice Versa” are reproduced in full on Queer Music History’s website.
The Daughters of Bilitis Video Project recorded an interview with Edythe in October 1988, which is available through the Lesbian Herstory Archives. You can watch here.
Scholar Kate Litterer has taken a deep dive into Edythe Eyde’s collection at the ONE Archives at the USC Libraries to learn everything she can about “this fascinating, funny, talented creator. The more I study Ben, the more I learn about just how far her talents reached: she was a talented editor and writer, thoughtful musician, and cutting-edge sci-fi and poetry author.” Learn more about Kate’s work here.
The Washington Post‘s podcast series on WW II letters featured an episode about the letters of Edythe Eyde to her soldier cousins. The accompanying article includes background on Edythe’s life prior to her move to Los Angeles.
In an extraordinary 2011 tribute to Edythe Eyde’s groundbreaking work publishing “Vice Versa” Union Bank, as part of its “Community Matters” spotlight series, which “highlights key individuals and places that were instrumental in creating the communities we live in today,” produced this 45-second video. We can only imagine how much this ad would have pleased Edythe.
In 2010, The Association of LGBTQ Journalists (NLGJA) welcomed Edythe Eyde into its Hall of Fame.
To learn more about how Edythe created “Vice Versa,” we recommend Rodger Streitmatter’s Unspeakable: The Rise of Gay and Lesbian Press in America, which chronicles the stories of many gays and lesbians who created LGBT-oriented publications.
To learn more about Edythe and twenty-one other lesbian writers, read Kate Brandt’s Happy Endings: Lesbian Writers Talk About Their Lives and Work.
Episode Transcript
I’m Eric Marcus and this is the Making Gay History podcast.
In our third episode you’ll meet Edythe Eyde, whose pen name was Lisa Ben. Back in the 1950s, a lot of people who got involved in the movement didn’t use their real names because if you were found out you could lose your job and even lose your family.
But Edythe’s story starts even before that, in 1947, when she published what she called “Vice Versa: America’s Gayest Magazine.”
It was a newsletter, for lesbians. She typed it on her office typewriter at RKO Pictures where she was a young secretary. Her boss told her she should look busy, but not knit and not read. So what do you do? You write a newsletter for lesbians in 1947 and give them out to your friends.
But before she could tell me her story, I had to find her. And all I had to go on was her pen name and that she lived in California. It took me three months and 26 phone calls to find her. This was pre-Internet, so there was no choice. And on the 26th phone call, she answered. So not long after, I was sitting with her on her enclosed front porch with two of her thirteen cats. She’d bought the house with money from years working as a secretary. She hated working as a secretary.
I’d read that Edythe was well-known in the ‘50s for singing parodies of popular songs in Los Angeles gay clubs. She wrote her own lyrics as a protest against the demeaning jokes gay entertainers told for the benefit of straights. And, if you can imagine, the straights would show up at the clubs in the evening to see how the other half lived and they’d stand in the back.
So I asked Edythe if she could sing a few songs for me. So, here she is, Edythe Eyde, live from the front porch of her Burbank bungalow. You can’t not smile.
———
Eric: Okay.
Edythe: [Clears throat] Uh, I’m off now?
Eric: You’re on.
Edythe: Oh, I’m on?
Eric: You can test, and I’ll just…
Edythe: Oh, okay…
Eric: …you’re ready to warm up.
Edythe: Yeah, I need to warm up a little bit. I should tune up a little bit first.
[Edythe singing]: Hello young lovers, whatever you are. I hope your problems are few. All you cute butches lined up at the bar, I’ve had a love like you…
Edythe: I knew the way I felt, but I didn’t know how to go about finding someone else that was that way and there was just no way to find out in those days. You know, everything was pretty closed about things like that.
I wrote “Vice Versa” mainly to keep myself company because I thought that although I don’t know any gay gals now, by the time I finish a couple of these magazines I’m sure I will. I was such a little optimist. And then I’ll hand the magazines out for free. I never charged for them. I felt that that would be wrong. But, uh, it was just some writing that I wanted to do to get it off my chest and I was a very lonely person and I could sort of fantasize this way by writing the magazine, you see.
And so that’s the way the magazine was. And I put in five copies at a time with carbon paper and I wrote it through twice, so that made ten copies of Vice Versa. That’s all I could manage. You see, there were no duplicating machines in those days.
I would also say to the girls as I passed the magazines out, “Now when you get through with this, don’t throw it away. Pass it on to another gay gal.” We didn’t use the term lesbian so much then. We just said gay gal.
Eric: Uh, hmm.
Edythe: And I said, and that way, although… it will pass from friend to friend. And it’s not dated material, so it will never get stale. I mean they’re just fiction and poetry and that sort of thing, book reports and things of that nature. There were very few books around at the time, but I wrote a book review on “The Well of Loneliness,” and a couple of other ones I can’t remember.
And then if there were any movies around that had the slightest tinge of two girls being interested in one another or something, I would take that story within the movie and play it up and say, “Oh, such and such a movie has a scene in it with two young ladies and they seem to be interested in one another or something like that.” I would play it up. And then I wrote poetry, not a great deal of it, but a few things.
And, uh, then, uh, oh I’d write the end… the “Watchama-Column.” And that was just ideas that happened off the top of my head that I would write about and say, “Wouldn’t it be wonderful if…” Or, you know, I’d just sort of, uh, uh, fantasize about… Not fantasize exactly, but…
Eric: Imagine?
Edythe: Imagine, thank you, umm, uh, fantasize about how things might be in the future with us or something like that.
It was a sort of a light thing, a frivolous thing, it wasn’t anything of great merit, I don’t think, but it was just to round out the magazine because I was getting awfully scarce on material.
Eric: What were some of the things you imagined in your columns?
Edythe: Well, I imagined that perhaps we would have a lot of magazines and that perhaps even movies might be made about us. And, uh, I would hope that someday we would not be looked down on with so much disdain and things of that nature.
Eric: I think that this may be where you… this is the column… this is the article, “Here to Stay.” It says, “Whether the unsympathetic majority approves or not it looks as though the third sex is here to stay.”
Edythe: Yeah, that’s the one.
Eric: Shall I read that or would you prefer to read it onto the tape because I’d like to read it onto the tape?
Edythe: So, oh, okay, go ahead.
Eric: September 1947, volume one, number four. Whether the unsympathetic majority approves or not, it looks as though the third sex is here to stay. With the advancement of psychiatry and related subjects, the world is becoming more and more aware that there are those in our midst who feel no attraction for the opposite sex. It is not an uncommon sight to observe mannishly attired women or even those dressed in more feminine garb strolling along the street hand-in-hand or even arm-in-arm, in an attitude which certainly would seem to indicate far more than mere friendliness.
Homosexuality is becoming a less and less taboo subject, and although still considered by the general public as contemptible, or treated with derision, I venture to predict that there will be a time in the future when gay folk will be accepted as part of regular society.
Edythe: I remember that.
Eric: Just as certain subjects, once considered unfit for discussion now are used as themes in many of our motion pictures, I believe that the time will come when, say, Stephen Gordon, will step unrestrained from the pages of Radclyffe Hall’s admirable novel, Well of Loneliness, onto the silver screen and once precedent has been broken by one such motion picture others will be sure to follow.
Perhaps even “Vice Versa” might be the forerunner of better magazines dedicated to the third sex, which in some future time might take their rightful place on the newsstands beside other publications to be available openly and without restriction to those who wish to read them.
In these days of frozen foods, motion picture palaces, compact apartments, modern innovations and female independence, there is no reason why a woman would have to look to a man for food and shelter in return for raising his children and keeping his house in order unless she really wants to.
Never before have circumstances and conditions been so suitable for those of lesbian tendencies.
Edythe: I guess I did use the term there.
Eric: Gives me chills! 1947. You had guts!
Edythe: Ha, ha, ha! Well, it surprises me now, too, reading back. I mean, reading this now, because I haven’t read it for so long I had to stop and think, “Well, did I write that? Or did somebody else?” but I wrote it. That’s me in there, heh, heh, heh.
Eric: That’s pretty bold stuff.
Edythe: Well, I guess it is. I never thought of it as being, uh, being bold at the time. I was just, as I say, I was just sort of fantasizing. But it all has come to pass. Heh.
Eric: What has…?
Edythe: Makes me feel like a fortune-teller. Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Yeah, that’s the key of D.
Edythe [singing]: If you’re disposition’s gay, be mighty glad you’re made that way.
Don’t frown ‘cause your world’s upside down.
Why should you be thought a fool for not conforming to the rule?
It has its advantages abound.
Now the ladies are the fairest sex as everybody knows.
Their charms are emphasized in ads and even movin’ picture shows.
I can’t convince the fellows I’m not daffy in the head, ‘cause I’m savin’ all my kisses for the little gal instead.
Mama nature played it smart when she tied a string around my heart and said, “No, no, no, no,” to me.
My kind of lovin’s lots of fun, but I’m glad when all is said and done there’s no, a no responsibility.
Now science claims that like repels and opposites attract, but since I’ve been in Hollywood I sure don’t know that that’s a fact.
When ere I see a likely lassie swayin’ down the street, I must curb my natural urge to whistle at each one I meet.
Never act as though you mind if people sometimes seem unkind.
Keep smilin’ though you may be blue.
And no matter what you are, if you hitch your wagon to a star, you’ll find your share of happiness, too.
———
I spoke with Edythe a few times in the months after I first interviewed her. And each time she answered her phone she said, “Hello Eric,” in her incredibly upbeat voice. And I asked her how she knew it would be me. And she said that no one ever called, and if the phone rang she just figured it would be me.
When I started work on this podcast I decided to call Edythe just on the off chance that she was still answering her phone From what I could tell from a quick online search, she was still alive and she would have been about 93 or 94 at this point. But her phone was disconnected.
It took a few emails and phone calls to find out that Edythe died on December 22, 2015. She was 94. What really surprised me was that I didn’t know. And I didn’t know because there wasn’t a single obituary published anywhere for one of the earliest, most optimistic, and engaging fortune tellers of the LGBTQ civil rights movement.
To jog my memory about the sweet house where I sat with Edythe and listened to her sing and play her guitar, I did a Google search. What I found took my breath away. The house was gone and in its place was a new house, set far back on the lot with a concrete driveway occupying the place where Edythe’s house once stood. It felt like Edythe had been wiped from the face the earth.
If you want to see what our education partners are doing to bring this precious history into classrooms across the country, have a look at unerased.org.
I’d like to thank our hardworking executive producer, Sara Burningham, our wonderfully meticulous engineer Casey Holford, our patient composer, Fritz Meyers. Thank to Hannah Moch, our social media guru, our webmaster, Jonathan Dozier-Ezell. And we had production assistance from the incredibly talented Jenna Weiss-Berman, whose enthusiasm, excitement, and dedication to this project has made it possible.
The Making Gay History podcast is a co-production of Pineapple Street Media, with funding from the Arcus Foundation. Learn more about Arcus and its partners at ArcusFoundation.org.
And if you like what you’ve heard, please subscribe to the Making Gay History podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can also find all our podcasts on our website at makinggayhistory.com.
———
Edythe [singing]: Scattered are we, overland, oversea.
How many we number will never be known.
Each one must learn from the start. She must wear a mask on her heart.
And live in a world set apart. A shy separate world of her own.
Here’s to the days that we yearn for, to give of our hearts as we may.
Love’s always love in sincerity given, despite what the others may say.
The world cannot dare to deny us.
We’ve been here since centuries past.
And you can be sure our ranks will endure as long as this old world will last.
So here’s to a fairer tomorrow, when we’ll face the world with a smile.
The right one beside us to cherish and guide us.
This is what makes life worthwhile.
The right one beside us to cherish and guide us.
This is what makes life worthwhile.
submitted by ThirtydaysofPride to lgbt [link] [comments]


2020.05.29 16:53 Himbo-Rights Why are all of my friends Lesbians?

Just so we're perfectly clear, I absolutely love the fact that a ton of my friends are queer women, it's really awesome and they're all absolutely amazing and I love them all, I'm just trying to figure out why my circle of friends is like 70% gay women.
Okay, so I think I'm a pretty standard bi dude who prefers to date men, so there isn't the "we both like girls a lot" thing going on. I have no idea how to talk to guys (or girls) I like so I relate a lot to some of the posts on this sub. I'm in college and I work as an EMT, and I'd say that while I'm pretty active and do a lot of MMA and go to the gym a lot, I'm also a massive nerd. I play lots of D&D and other tabletop roleplaying games and I enjoy more traditionally nerdy media and play lots of video games. I've got long hair and I like snowboarding a lot. I also really like music, and I'm kind of a music nerd, I listen to just about every genre under the sun, and that includes some favorite queer artists because queer people are always pushing music boundaries. (Speaking of, the Tegan and Sara album that came out last year fucking slaps) I'm kind of an idiot and one of my friends said I should post here when I got a reddit account, because I can't figure out why I seem to have like 16 lesbian best friends and it seems statistically improbable to me.
submitted by Himbo-Rights to actuallesbians [link] [comments]


2020.05.25 14:07 SnapshillBot Archives for /r/TheBluePill/comments/gq9u80/ive_made_a_comprehensive_and_exhaustive_list_of/

Talking with feeeemales since 2013
Snapshots:
  1. I’ve made a comprehensive and exhau... - archive.org, archive.today
  2. sexual activity without consent is ... - archive.org, archive.today*
  3. Some - archive.org, archive.today
  4. many - archive.org, archive.today
  5. this teenager - archive.org, archive.today
  6. not true - archive.org, archive.today
  7. this ostensibly well-meaning colleg... - archive.org, archive.today*
  8. this guy - archive.org, archive.today*
  9. this guy - archive.org, archive.today
  10. this 'comedian' - archive.org, archive.today
  11. this 'well-liked kid' who thought g... - archive.org, archive.today
  12. one of the most common types of rap... - archive.org, archive.today*
  13. perpetrators tend to see their beha... - archive.org, archive.today
  14. sexual assault is a tractable probl... - archive.org, archive.today
  15. rationalize their behavior - archive.org, archive.today
  16. advocates - archive.org, archive.today*
  17. can actually reduce the incidence o... - archive.org, archive.today
  18. An overwhelming majority of people ... - archive.org, archive.today
  19. unambiguous - archive.org, archive.today
  20. even an unwanted kiss can be fatal ... - archive.org, archive.today
  21. "Token resistance" to sex is virtually nonexistent, particularly for first encounters - archive.org, archive.today
  22. even if the person has sent extreme... - archive.org, archive.today
  23. engaged in some sexual contact - archive.org, archive.today*
  24. as many sexual offenses often entai... - archive.org, archive.today
  25. As in other social interactions, - archive.org, archive.today
  26. are still rejections - archive.org, archive.today
  27. is still sexual assault - archive.org, archive.today
  28. are capable of understanding these ... - archive.org, archive.today*
  29. misrepresent their own actions to g... - archive.org, archive.today
  30. re-labeling sexual assault or rape ... - archive.org, archive.today
  31. like domestic abusers, rapists ofte... - archive.org, archive.today
  32. that are considered rude - archive.org, archive.today
  33. more likely to be physically violen... - archive.org, archive.today
  34. 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men has exp... - archive.org, archive.today
  35. Most young women expect words to be... - archive.org, archive.today
  36. 43% of young men actually ask for v... - archive.org, archive.today
  37. are more common than nonverbal indi... - archive.org, archive.today
  38. increases the likelihood of orgasm ... - archive.org, archive.today*
  39. Consent is not synonymous with arousal - archive.org, archive.today
  40. an erect penis - archive.org, archive.today
  41. erect nipples - archive.org, archive.today
  42. and still not want to have sex - archive.org, archive.today
  43. often have a physiological sexual r... - archive.org, archive.today
  44. may increase risk of sexually coerc... - archive.org, archive.today
  45. studies consistently show - archive.org, archive.today
  46. 93% have misperceived sexual intere... - archive.org, archive.today
  47. most correct their understanding - archive.org, archive.today
  48. when the victim's interest is even ... - archive.org, archive.today
  49. orgasm, that does not retroactively... - archive.org, archive.today*
  50. women fake orgasms is to end unwant... - archive.org, archive.today
  51. hasn't consented is still sexual as... - archive.org, archive.today
  52. one may consent to one form of sexu... - archive.org, archive.today
  53. happen during a hookup when a man f... - archive.org, archive.today
  54. do not achieve orgasm during one-ni... - archive.org, archive.today
  55. less likely to want to engage in in... - archive.org, archive.today
  56. Physical resistance is not required on the part of the victim to demonstrate lack of consent - archive.org, archive.today*
  57. nor does the law require evidence o... - archive.org, archive.today
  58. are more likely to end up physicall... - archive.org, archive.today
  59. may be small, but the consequences ... - archive.org, archive.today
  60. Consent - archive.org, archive.today
  61. legally - archive.org, archive.today
  62. must - archive.org, archive.today
  63. specific to engage in the sexual ac... - archive.org, archive.today
  64. accepting an alcoholic beverage - archive.org, archive.today
  65. going to a date's room - archive.org, archive.today
  66. getting undressed - archive.org, archive.today
  67. likelihood for future consent - archive.org, archive.today
  68. verbally - archive.org, archive.today
  69. pulling away - archive.org, archive.today
  70. other - archive.org, archive.today
  71. Submitting to sex - archive.org, archive.today
  72. not legally - archive.org, archive.today
  73. same as consenting to sex - archive.org, archive.today
  74. Some sex offenders kill their victi... - archive.org, archive.today
  75. victims often become compliant duri... - archive.org, archive.today
  76. It's possible - archive.org, archive.today
  77. too intoxicated - archive.org, archive.today
  78. give valid consent - archive.org, archive.today
  79. alcohol is not an aphrodisiac. - archive.org, archive.today
  80. Most college sexual assaults occur ... - archive.org, archive.today
  81. is a tactic used by some perpetrato... - archive.org, archive.today
  82. they cannot consent - archive.org, archive.today
  83. Here are some easy ways to tell if ... - archive.org, archive.today
  84. increases the risk of sexual offend... - archive.org, archive.today
  85. certain high-risk men - archive.org, archive.today*
  86. Wearing someone down by repeatedly asking for sex until they "consent" to sex is a form of coercion - archive.org, archive.today
  87. must - archive.org, archive.today
  88. human rights violation has occurred - archive.org, archive.today
  89. Silence is not consent - archive.org, archive.today
  90. Fighting, fleeing, and - archive.org, archive.today
  91. men are not in a constant state of ... - archive.org, archive.today
  92. by surprise - archive.org, archive.today
  93. of the opportunity - archive.org, archive.today
  94. communicate nonconsent - archive.org, archive.today
  95. often a long period of uncertainty ... - archive.org, archive.today
  96. ethically - archive.org, archive.today
  97. legally - archive.org, archive.today*
  98. before removing a condom - archive.org, archive.today*
  99. STIs are on the rise - archive.org, archive.today*
  100. unaware they have an STI they can t... - archive.org, archive.today*
  101. no reliable HPV test for men - archive.org, archive.today
  102. herpes might cause Alzheimer's - archive.org, archive.today*
  103. The NISVS includes using lies or false promises to obtain sex in their definition of sexual coercion - archive.org, archive.today*
  104. pretending to be someone's S.O., pr... - archive.org, archive.today
  105. Marriage is not an automatic form of consent - archive.org, archive.today*
  106. may be even worse - archive.org, archive.today
  107. Consent is at least as important (and just as required) in BDSM relationships - archive.org, archive.today
  108. sexual fantasies involving dominanc... - archive.org, archive.today
  109. no one - archive.org, archive.today*
  110. Most rape victims are in denial, so... - archive.org, archive.today
  111. Regret is a virtually non-existent ... - archive.org, archive.today*
  112. Yale's sexual misconduct examples - archive.org, archive.today
  113. Purdue's consent policy - archive.org, archive.today
  114. Illinois' - archive.org, archive.today
  115. Michigan's - archive.org, archive.today
  116. Harvard's - archive.org, archive.today
  117. Stanford's - archive.org, archive.today
  118. Wisconsin's - archive.org, archive.today
  119. Minnesota's - archive.org, archive.today
  120. Wyoming's - archive.org, archive.today
  121. Indiana's - archive.org, archive.today
  122. Arkansas' - archive.org, archive.today
  123. California's - archive.org, archive.today
  124. Canada's - archive.org, archive.today*
  125. Spain's - archive.org, archive.today*
  126. Sweden's - archive.org, archive.today
  127. this viral news article - archive.org, archive.today*
I am just a simple bot, *not** a moderator of this subreddit* bot subreddit contact the maintainers
submitted by SnapshillBot to SnapshillBotEx [link] [comments]


Arrow 2x14 Oliver and Sara tell Laurel that their dating Sara Ramirez On Deciding To Come Out After Her 'Grey's ... Mitch and Sarah Kissing (Harry Styles last show) - YouTube Are Sarah and Adrianna Dating - Pillow Talk - YouTube DISMISSED: Spring Break. Dan, Jenae & Sara (Dating Show HD ... WHAT! Sushant Singh Rajput Sara Ali Khan DATING?  But Why Are They Pleading To The Paps? Sarah Silverman on Ex-Boyfriends and Dating - YouTube Gay Dating in Egypt Sara Gilberts Dating Johnny Galecki - YouTube Waitress interview with Sara Bareilles - YouTube

Who Is Sara Bareilles' Boyfriend? The Pair Have An ...

  1. Arrow 2x14 Oliver and Sara tell Laurel that their dating
  2. Sara Ramirez On Deciding To Come Out After Her 'Grey's ...
  3. Mitch and Sarah Kissing (Harry Styles last show) - YouTube
  4. Are Sarah and Adrianna Dating - Pillow Talk - YouTube
  5. DISMISSED: Spring Break. Dan, Jenae & Sara (Dating Show HD ...
  6. WHAT! Sushant Singh Rajput Sara Ali Khan DATING? But Why Are They Pleading To The Paps?
  7. Sarah Silverman on Ex-Boyfriends and Dating - YouTube
  8. Gay Dating in Egypt
  9. Sara Gilberts Dating Johnny Galecki - YouTube
  10. Waitress interview with Sara Bareilles - YouTube

ULTRA RARE! Facebook: https://facebook.com/dennis7official/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/dennis7official/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/dennis7pl/ ... Sara Gilbert opens up about the emotional roller coaster she went through when discovering her sexuality while dating Johnny Galecki The Big Bang Theory. Arrow 2x14 Oliver and Sara tell Laurel that their dating Credit to the insta account @1D4e. The question on everybody's mind! Make sure to subscribe! Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheGayWomenChannel Twitter: https://twitter.com/GayWomenChannel ... Sarah talks about her ex-boyfriends and her current dating life. Jimmy Kimmel Gets Scared by a Drone https://youtu.be/yFwwAafIo6k SUBSCRIBE to get the latest... Sara Bareilles, the composer and lyricist of Waitress, talks about why she got involved with the project, and why she likes working in musical theatre. Ticke... Gay Dating in Istanbul, Turkey - Duration: 9:06. KevenTalks 10,248 views. 9:06. Speaking Out for LGBT Youth in Egypt - Duration: 12:55. New Media UFM English Recommended for you. As doctor Callie Torres on Grey’s Anatomy, Sara Ramirez played one of TV’s groundbreaking bisexual characters — but “I didn’t know if I was ready to come out... This friendship is only growing thicker. A source reveals that Sushant Singh Rajput and Sara Ali Khan are often spotted outside each other’s residence. But, the question is what makes them plead ...